I went to Ricki’s doctor yesterday to pick up her prescription for Concerta. I mentioned casually that I am traveling to America for three weeks.
-“Yes, of course. I couldn’t dump her on my daughter in laws!” (For a day or two, maybe. Not for three weeks...)
-“But how will you manage?!?!” (Keep in mind here that he WAS being fair. Ricki does all sorts of manipulative behaviors half the time that we go there, trying to wield out some balloons from the doctor....)
-“Well, I managed last time, two years ago!”
-“But you must have trouble with her in stores...”
-“Well, I did last time, but two years have passed, and I have been working on her behavior.” (I’m not sure he believes me on that.....) So I proceeded to tell him a story from my last shopping excursion with Ricki. [Which I am tempted to “save” for tomorrow, but heck, I’ll tell you now anyway...]
I was in the grocery supermarket with Ricki, and we were reaching the end of the buy. I had agreed already to her request to buy a cassette tape, so when she came to me with the request to buy a ready-made pudding desert with whipped cream topping, I said “No”.
So she promptly tried to stick the perishable pudding onto the shelf of pickles by which I was standing, rather than track back to the refrigerator.
-“Ricki, put it back in the FRIDGE.”
So she takes the desert, turns around, and asks the man next to us if he would put it back.
-“Ricki, YOU are putting it back, not the man.” (Simultaneously wiggling my finger “NO” to the man, who looked like he was going to comply. A bystander offered to return it for Ricki, and I almost yelled at him, but just hissed “Mister, this is for her education!” So Ricki started walking in the direction of the fridge, and reached on the way a sweet young couple who had obviously heard the earlier exchange, because the wife smiled at me as she refused Ricki’s pleading that she return the container to the fridge. After that Ricki finally put it back.
“So you see, Dr. S_____”, I concluded, “she did NOT beg me for the desert, she knew that my ‘No’ is a ‘no’. And she put it back fairly quickly.* She is making progress, because I am working on her behavior.”
-“As it should be...”
*[I did NOT add that she did not fall on the floor, open packages of food, etc, etc - things that we used to have to deal with in the past—to maintain the illusion that I am a better mother than I am....(Cheshire grin....)]
I have trouble with my boys in stores also, and I prefer not to take them, but sometimes I do it on purpose, to teach them, as you do. One afternoon I was checking out with my son at the kosher supermarket and my son was talking a mile a minute and trying to touch everything. I said loudly, "Akiva, sit!" I had meant to say, "Akiva, stand still!", but it came out differently. The clerk, who was Israeli, said in Hebrew (to me), "What is he, a dog?" (I don't know why he spoke to me in Hebrew, but whatever).
My oldest son is actually fine in stores now, so I'm hoping the younger ones will improve...
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