Tuesday, March 11, 2008


First, I made the mistake of shopping with Rickie after her concerta wore off. I should have known better.
On our way home from her exercise class, we passed a favorite store of children’s clothing who were having an end-of-season clearance sale. I peeped in, and the prices were indeed very low. Ricki had asked me to buy her a bottled drink, so I told her that if she behaved well in the store, I would buy her the drink that she wanted, when we were finished.
At one point she stepped out of the store for a minute (not dangerous here). A few minutes later she was back with a drink. She had gone next door, said she was thirsty, and a stranger had bought her a drink. (Actually paid for one that she had opened.) AAUUGGHH!!!!!!!!! (Besides the point that that she “got around” my plan, there is the bit about letting a stranger pay…)
Well, I am firmly resolved that this will not be condoned. For a long time things are going to be refused because she went behind my back. She will rue the act.
But I am still exasperated. And I still feel like a mom who can’t control her child. She is getting more and more out of control. As soon as I start working on one area, three others pop up. Which makes me feel like a failure. I am so scared that this will become a habit (in actuality, it has…). I should have done better behavior modification on this before. I am embarrassed, frustrated, and upset. But I am also determined. I will not let this pass by. And I pledge to start seriously on a concrete, preemptive plan. If I don’t post something concrete by Monday, you can question me.

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