Yesterday I went shopping with Ricki. Her shabbas skirt had several holes, and her reserve skirt is not enough for the day plus of “shabbas”(Friday evening and Saturday until dark, the “sabbath”). So we searched through the stores for something that looked nice, and we found, at a reasonable price. But best of all, is that Ricki BEHAVED. Anyone who has read my posts from two years ago (like THIS and THIS)knows that Ricki generally was NOT a well-behaved child on shopping trips. But yesterday she listened to me, accepted my decision not to buy her a drink (she HAD one in her bag), and didn’t argue with me no end about various things. After buying the skirt, I bought her a watch, and a pair of shoes, which had not been part of my original plan.
Coming home, as we climbed the stairs, Ricki turned to me and said , “Thanks Mom for going shopping with me and buying me this stuff.” I was VERY VERY pleased!
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Ricki’s Teshuva (Repentance), and the Nice Lady in the Mall
If you have been reading here for over a month, you may remember that near the end of August, Ricki ran away from me in a small shopping mall. (If you are a new reader, see original post here.)
Ricki had a chance to “replay” the incident yesterday. We had to go to the eye doctor for a post-surgery check-up (his office is right by this small mall), and I wanted to go into the stores after this appointment to see if I could find a few things we need for the almost finished (GRIN GRIN) shower room (which is being overhauled, see posts from September 5,7,8).
Our sages tell us that true repentance is being faced with the same situation you failed in, and doing properly the next time. But we don’t always have the opportunity to make such a correction. Ricky did.
Before entering, I spoke with her about my expectations regarding her behavior. For the first 10 minutes or so, she acted wildly, not listening, and grabbing things. I caught her, and threatened concrete “consequences” for continued misbehavior. THAT worked, and she calmed down. So we were able to do some shopping, and Ricki had “experience” in behaving in a mall.
As we were leaving, we saw several tables with various trinkets for sale near the door. One, with flashing lights, perked Ricki’s curiosity. As she went zooming over to the table, the saleslady smiled. She patiently showed each thing to Ricki, explaining how to turn the lights on and off, etc. We bought a small item. I even told the lady “You were so nice, I’m writing you into my blog tomorrow, I promise.”
Then as we passed the last table, Ricki touched something and the proprietor panicked. She urged me to restrain Ricki, who was really not doing anything terrible, she was just examining the items. She roughly told Ricki “It’s not for you” when Ricki asked what the item was for. So I decided (perhaps still enwrapped from the “glow” of our previous saleslady), that I would just ignore the hysterics of the woman. I certainly didn’t tell Ricki off, as she was really not doing anything wrong, and was handling the merchandise* carefully enough. I calmly explained what the items were, and told Ricki to put it back as we needed to “get going”.
And I really didn’t mind the second lady, because the first one was so nice.
*Yes, breakable merchandise, which I would pay for if broken
PS. By the way, the doctor was quite satisfied with the results of the surgery.(So far, he has to recheck her in a month and a half.) There still is a bit of cross-eyedness, but it is MUCH less than before.
Ricki had a chance to “replay” the incident yesterday. We had to go to the eye doctor for a post-surgery check-up (his office is right by this small mall), and I wanted to go into the stores after this appointment to see if I could find a few things we need for the almost finished (GRIN GRIN) shower room (which is being overhauled, see posts from September 5,7,8).
Our sages tell us that true repentance is being faced with the same situation you failed in, and doing properly the next time. But we don’t always have the opportunity to make such a correction. Ricky did.
Before entering, I spoke with her about my expectations regarding her behavior. For the first 10 minutes or so, she acted wildly, not listening, and grabbing things. I caught her, and threatened concrete “consequences” for continued misbehavior. THAT worked, and she calmed down. So we were able to do some shopping, and Ricki had “experience” in behaving in a mall.
As we were leaving, we saw several tables with various trinkets for sale near the door. One, with flashing lights, perked Ricki’s curiosity. As she went zooming over to the table, the saleslady smiled. She patiently showed each thing to Ricki, explaining how to turn the lights on and off, etc. We bought a small item. I even told the lady “You were so nice, I’m writing you into my blog tomorrow, I promise.”
Then as we passed the last table, Ricki touched something and the proprietor panicked. She urged me to restrain Ricki, who was really not doing anything terrible, she was just examining the items. She roughly told Ricki “It’s not for you” when Ricki asked what the item was for. So I decided (perhaps still enwrapped from the “glow” of our previous saleslady), that I would just ignore the hysterics of the woman. I certainly didn’t tell Ricki off, as she was really not doing anything wrong, and was handling the merchandise* carefully enough. I calmly explained what the items were, and told Ricki to put it back as we needed to “get going”.
And I really didn’t mind the second lady, because the first one was so nice.
*Yes, breakable merchandise, which I would pay for if broken
PS. By the way, the doctor was quite satisfied with the results of the surgery.(So far, he has to recheck her in a month and a half.) There still is a bit of cross-eyedness, but it is MUCH less than before.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Bureaucracy, Israeli Style-or- How do People Who Work Manage?
I have yet to figure out how people who work full-time manage. I do not work full-time, yet I do not sleep enough. In addition, I am constantly behind in my lists of “things I want to do”. [Although, as I frequently have pointed out to friends and relatives: An intelligent, creative person has a major problem: They can think up good ideas and projects much faster than they can carry said projects out….] I could easily consider myself at least part-time employed, as the adaptations and homework for Ricki easily take (on the average) a few hours each day. [One of the reasons for this is because I am not working in my mother tongue, which slows me down considerably.]
But when one has a steady job, who does all the zillion and one tasks that bureaucracy turns into terrific time drains????
Last week I had to go to the health fund’s office (non-Israelis see the start of this post for elucidation) in order to get a voucher for Ricki’s upcoming eye surgery. Now understand that every office in Israel is open at different hours. Some work 9-1, and then reopen from 4-7, others work straight through from 9-5. Some are agile and workaholics, opening at 8:00, other places and stores open at 9:00 or 10:00. The post office is closed on Tuesday afternoons, the bank on Wednesdays, and optometrists are usually closed on Sunday afternoon. (Sunday being a regular workday here.) Some places are open on Friday morning (Friday being a half-day workday); others are not.
So I decided to be smart. I checked the health-fund’s booklet, and was pleased that it was open at 2:00 on the day I wanted to go. I went, and a sign on the locked entranceway informed me that the hours had been changed. Tough luck and an entire hour was shot just like a slap on the face.
Just try and go shopping for a list of ten things. I had a morning I scheduled for “errands” last week. I prepared the money, the papers, and figured out the best order in which to trek from one store to the next.
I took a bus up a big hill to my first stop (better to work going down the hill than up, my lazy side had decided). The first store was closed; they were on vacation. At my second stop, I purchased everything I had on my list from that store, except for one item that they were temporarily out of. My third stop, was, amazingly an astounding success. At the fourth place they said that they no longer carry the item I was looking for; I should try at store “Y” (no guarantees though), this store of course being located back up the hill near stop number one. So I sweated up (36 degrees centigrade, humidity 65%) the hill, only to be told in said place of business, that she could not and would not order the item in question. Then I went as fast as I could to reach my next-to-the -last stop, the post office, There the line was huge. [Do I stay in line, and finish so late that I will have no time to reach the pharmacy (last destination)? Or should I go to the pharmacy and then have to return another day to the post office?] I opted to stay in line at the post office, to pick up the book I was expecting, and had a receipt for. {Much more enticing to get a book than some medicine….) After standing in line (there being 2 seats for twenty people ) my turn arrived. She pointed at two letters scribbled on the bottom of the receipt. “It’s true that they should have sent the package to our branch, as they always do, but for some reason they sent it to the branch in XXX neighborhood. The sorting office has summer help, so someone new must have botched up.” She gave me a phone number to call, to have the package sent to her branch, or I could take a half-hour bus ride to the other branch. Sum total: I spent one morning dragging myself through the streets in the ferocious heat, and only accomplished about one-half of my errands.
On arriving home, I called the number I had been given of the sorting office. I started to tell my tale, and got hung up on. So the next day, I went across town. But,No….the package was not there, it had been sent back to the sorting area, someone realizing that it was not destined for anyone living in that area. Five days later the package resurfaced, and I thankfully was able to retrieve it.
So, tell me, how do people who work manage?
But when one has a steady job, who does all the zillion and one tasks that bureaucracy turns into terrific time drains????
Last week I had to go to the health fund’s office (non-Israelis see the start of this post for elucidation) in order to get a voucher for Ricki’s upcoming eye surgery. Now understand that every office in Israel is open at different hours. Some work 9-1, and then reopen from 4-7, others work straight through from 9-5. Some are agile and workaholics, opening at 8:00, other places and stores open at 9:00 or 10:00. The post office is closed on Tuesday afternoons, the bank on Wednesdays, and optometrists are usually closed on Sunday afternoon. (Sunday being a regular workday here.) Some places are open on Friday morning (Friday being a half-day workday); others are not.
So I decided to be smart. I checked the health-fund’s booklet, and was pleased that it was open at 2:00 on the day I wanted to go. I went, and a sign on the locked entranceway informed me that the hours had been changed. Tough luck and an entire hour was shot just like a slap on the face.
Just try and go shopping for a list of ten things. I had a morning I scheduled for “errands” last week. I prepared the money, the papers, and figured out the best order in which to trek from one store to the next.
I took a bus up a big hill to my first stop (better to work going down the hill than up, my lazy side had decided). The first store was closed; they were on vacation. At my second stop, I purchased everything I had on my list from that store, except for one item that they were temporarily out of. My third stop, was, amazingly an astounding success. At the fourth place they said that they no longer carry the item I was looking for; I should try at store “Y” (no guarantees though), this store of course being located back up the hill near stop number one. So I sweated up (36 degrees centigrade, humidity 65%) the hill, only to be told in said place of business, that she could not and would not order the item in question. Then I went as fast as I could to reach my next-to-the -last stop, the post office, There the line was huge. [Do I stay in line, and finish so late that I will have no time to reach the pharmacy (last destination)? Or should I go to the pharmacy and then have to return another day to the post office?] I opted to stay in line at the post office, to pick up the book I was expecting, and had a receipt for. {Much more enticing to get a book than some medicine….) After standing in line (there being 2 seats for twenty people ) my turn arrived. She pointed at two letters scribbled on the bottom of the receipt. “It’s true that they should have sent the package to our branch, as they always do, but for some reason they sent it to the branch in XXX neighborhood. The sorting office has summer help, so someone new must have botched up.” She gave me a phone number to call, to have the package sent to her branch, or I could take a half-hour bus ride to the other branch. Sum total: I spent one morning dragging myself through the streets in the ferocious heat, and only accomplished about one-half of my errands.
On arriving home, I called the number I had been given of the sorting office. I started to tell my tale, and got hung up on. So the next day, I went across town. But,No….the package was not there, it had been sent back to the sorting area, someone realizing that it was not destined for anyone living in that area. Five days later the package resurfaced, and I thankfully was able to retrieve it.
So, tell me, how do people who work manage?
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Cloth store and Vegetable Store, and the Phone: Independence!
As I mentioned on Monday, I was with Ricki in the cloth store, buying cloth to make a dress for her sister’s wedding. The saleslady showed us several samples. Her first selection was nice looking, but I was afraid that, being light pink, would not look good on Ricki’s large figure. So I asked for a second set of fabrics. The second set did not suit my fancy, but I did not need to protest. Ricki piped right up; it did not suit her at all. The third idea suited both of us, and that became our purchase. The sales lady was so impressed by her maturity, her independence.
The next day we had to go buy some vegetables. Ricki did virtually all of the work, and the only thing I could find fault with was when she put the tomatoes under heavier items. I often send her to this store with a small list. I suspect that soon she’ll be ready to do the weekly vegetable buy.
Today, on Shabbas (there is no traffic in our town on Shabbas, Saturday), Ricki walked over on her own to a friend’s house, and as I told my husband, “why not?”. Later in the day I refused to let her go a second time, since the friend was not in, and I was afraid that Ricki would make a pest of herself to the friend’s older sister (who had entertained her during the first visit).
Meanwhile, I have received several phone calls over the last few days. Ricki has made various phone calls, often several at one sitting to someone who is out. She gets the answering machine, and apparently doesn’t realize that they are not home. The nicest story came from Ricki’s sister-in-law, M. who told me that Ricki had requested that they come for shabbos (Saturday). M. told her that she would talk it over with Ricki’s brother. At the end of the 5 minute conversation, Ricki reminded her to ask her husband, and the next day called to hear the results!
It is obvious that Ricki wants more independence, and I guess I will have to teach her about putting the squishable fruit on top, and about answering machines. If she wants that independence, it’s a sign that we have to go for it!
The next day we had to go buy some vegetables. Ricki did virtually all of the work, and the only thing I could find fault with was when she put the tomatoes under heavier items. I often send her to this store with a small list. I suspect that soon she’ll be ready to do the weekly vegetable buy.
Today, on Shabbas (there is no traffic in our town on Shabbas, Saturday), Ricki walked over on her own to a friend’s house, and as I told my husband, “why not?”. Later in the day I refused to let her go a second time, since the friend was not in, and I was afraid that Ricki would make a pest of herself to the friend’s older sister (who had entertained her during the first visit).
Meanwhile, I have received several phone calls over the last few days. Ricki has made various phone calls, often several at one sitting to someone who is out. She gets the answering machine, and apparently doesn’t realize that they are not home. The nicest story came from Ricki’s sister-in-law, M. who told me that Ricki had requested that they come for shabbos (Saturday). M. told her that she would talk it over with Ricki’s brother. At the end of the 5 minute conversation, Ricki reminded her to ask her husband, and the next day called to hear the results!
It is obvious that Ricki wants more independence, and I guess I will have to teach her about putting the squishable fruit on top, and about answering machines. If she wants that independence, it’s a sign that we have to go for it!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I Hate Shopping (With Ricki)
Yesterday I had to do some shopping with Ricki. In the morning we had to buy school supplies, and in the afternoon clothing. Normally I wouldn’t buy clothing at this point of the summer, but I received a letter from Ricki’s overnight camp, and they expect us to send 10 days worth of clothing, plus some reserve. Well, we are no where near that amount of clothing, so I went to buy some.
I don’t know why, but Ricki is inevitably TERRIBLE when we go shopping, especially for clothing. In the morning she was ALMOST “passable” on behavior (kept trying to play with the cash register in the bookstore, took a bit of stuff before asking, sat on the floor only once). In the afternoon she was pretty bad. She kept sitting on the floor, running away, etc. At least this time I was VERY firm with consequences (walked out of two storse, didn’t buy her a drink).
This morning we have a bit more of shopping to do. Ricki woke up and asked if we were going shopping. I answered affirmatively, and stressed that I expect her to act like a big girl. Before we go I plan to spell out clearly my expectations, and the positive/negative consequences of proper decorum or lack thereof. Wish me luck! (I will try and post an update).
* * * * *
Later in the day:
Ricki was better today. Mind you, that did not stop her from moaning as if in transition phase of labor a desperate “I’M HUNGRY……” when passing the popcorn stand and creating a real scene. [The popcorn man, on hearing my repeated refusals to buy her any snacks, immediately offered to give her some. He actually took a bag and started filling it… ( I said “Mister, do YOU give your kids EVERYTHING they ask for?????”). He really only desisted because I walked away, and Ricki followed. Some people just don’t get it.]
I don’t know why, but Ricki is inevitably TERRIBLE when we go shopping, especially for clothing. In the morning she was ALMOST “passable” on behavior (kept trying to play with the cash register in the bookstore, took a bit of stuff before asking, sat on the floor only once). In the afternoon she was pretty bad. She kept sitting on the floor, running away, etc. At least this time I was VERY firm with consequences (walked out of two storse, didn’t buy her a drink).
This morning we have a bit more of shopping to do. Ricki woke up and asked if we were going shopping. I answered affirmatively, and stressed that I expect her to act like a big girl. Before we go I plan to spell out clearly my expectations, and the positive/negative consequences of proper decorum or lack thereof. Wish me luck! (I will try and post an update).
* * * * *
Later in the day:
Ricki was better today. Mind you, that did not stop her from moaning as if in transition phase of labor a desperate “I’M HUNGRY……” when passing the popcorn stand and creating a real scene. [The popcorn man, on hearing my repeated refusals to buy her any snacks, immediately offered to give her some. He actually took a bag and started filling it… ( I said “Mister, do YOU give your kids EVERYTHING they ask for?????”). He really only desisted because I walked away, and Ricki followed. Some people just don’t get it.]
Monday, March 24, 2008
Purim and the Day Before
Purim was a very nice day. Ricki behaved very well, and some of the family was here as well.
The morning before was a different matter. I took Ricki with me to the grocery store, and her behavior was appalling. She kept trying to take “goodies”. In the end I decided that it was time to teach her a lesson, and I left the store mid-purchase with her. (Later I returned without her to finish the shopping.) The store owner tells me that when Ricki comes alone to the store she is fine (when I send her with a list), and that she only tries to grab things when I am with her (and she thinks she can get away with it). (The problem being that I feel that I must pay for any item that she opens, and she will likely consume half before I can stop her.) Now that we left the store this once, I plan to not take her the next few times (informing her of course), and then using some point system for the next time we go.
The morning before was a different matter. I took Ricki with me to the grocery store, and her behavior was appalling. She kept trying to take “goodies”. In the end I decided that it was time to teach her a lesson, and I left the store mid-purchase with her. (Later I returned without her to finish the shopping.) The store owner tells me that when Ricki comes alone to the store she is fine (when I send her with a list), and that she only tries to grab things when I am with her (and she thinks she can get away with it). (The problem being that I feel that I must pay for any item that she opens, and she will likely consume half before I can stop her.) Now that we left the store this once, I plan to not take her the next few times (informing her of course), and then using some point system for the next time we go.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
AAAUUUGGGHHH
First, I made the mistake of shopping with Rickie after her concerta wore off. I should have known better.
On our way home from her exercise class, we passed a favorite store of children’s clothing who were having an end-of-season clearance sale. I peeped in, and the prices were indeed very low. Ricki had asked me to buy her a bottled drink, so I told her that if she behaved well in the store, I would buy her the drink that she wanted, when we were finished.
At one point she stepped out of the store for a minute (not dangerous here). A few minutes later she was back with a drink. She had gone next door, said she was thirsty, and a stranger had bought her a drink. (Actually paid for one that she had opened.) AAUUGGHH!!!!!!!!! (Besides the point that that she “got around” my plan, there is the bit about letting a stranger pay…)
Well, I am firmly resolved that this will not be condoned. For a long time things are going to be refused because she went behind my back. She will rue the act.
But I am still exasperated. And I still feel like a mom who can’t control her child. She is getting more and more out of control. As soon as I start working on one area, three others pop up. Which makes me feel like a failure. I am so scared that this will become a habit (in actuality, it has…). I should have done better behavior modification on this before. I am embarrassed, frustrated, and upset. But I am also determined. I will not let this pass by. And I pledge to start seriously on a concrete, preemptive plan. If I don’t post something concrete by Monday, you can question me.
On our way home from her exercise class, we passed a favorite store of children’s clothing who were having an end-of-season clearance sale. I peeped in, and the prices were indeed very low. Ricki had asked me to buy her a bottled drink, so I told her that if she behaved well in the store, I would buy her the drink that she wanted, when we were finished.
At one point she stepped out of the store for a minute (not dangerous here). A few minutes later she was back with a drink. She had gone next door, said she was thirsty, and a stranger had bought her a drink. (Actually paid for one that she had opened.) AAUUGGHH!!!!!!!!! (Besides the point that that she “got around” my plan, there is the bit about letting a stranger pay…)
Well, I am firmly resolved that this will not be condoned. For a long time things are going to be refused because she went behind my back. She will rue the act.
But I am still exasperated. And I still feel like a mom who can’t control her child. She is getting more and more out of control. As soon as I start working on one area, three others pop up. Which makes me feel like a failure. I am so scared that this will become a habit (in actuality, it has…). I should have done better behavior modification on this before. I am embarrassed, frustrated, and upset. But I am also determined. I will not let this pass by. And I pledge to start seriously on a concrete, preemptive plan. If I don’t post something concrete by Monday, you can question me.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
BAUBLES
Today I entered a “trinkets” store with Ricki. Unnoticed by me (I was examining the hair accessories) she immediately started filling up a shopping bag with all sorts of baubles and junk. On discovering this, I informed her highness that everything had to be put back in place before any negotiations would be held concerning purchases. The store owner, while at least not offering to let her have it all as gifts (I guess it was too much), kept telling me that HE would return the items, pointing out that as fast as she returned items, she picked more up. I replied to him that she needed an education, and that his store was empty; we could not be bothering other purchasers. Eventually something clicked in Ricki’s head, and she put the stuff back. We bought one small item, and left. However, as luck would have it, when returning the one outrageously priced item that they sell, Ricky accidentally broke it. SIGH I suppose she will grow up some day….
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