So here's what I did today:
1. I decided the things that most need working on:
a. to basically accept my authority, ie listening to direct orders. (Not that she can't try and bargain a bit, but to obey if given as an order)
b. to sit down and work a reasonable amount on studies
2.Review what she benefits from not cooperating: getting out of work, gaining things I forbid, negative attention.
3. Decided on a wanted prize not in use already for school
4. Bought prizes (Jewelry)
5.made up a chart page for the remainder of this week. Broke desired behavior down (listen in AM, listen on way to/from extra curricular activities, listen in afternoon, listen in PM, Did homework.)
6. let her choose the necklace she wants to work for this week.
7 explained it/ started it.
Result: Was MUCH better today. I also remembered to praise her when she listened, and bought her a sudden surprise prize for good behavior (I clearly specified what I was pleased with) on way home from her swimming class.