When Knowing is Not Enough

Ricki’s Dad is returning from overseas, arriving in a few hours. After he had been gone about a week, Ricki started bugging me “When is Daddy coming home?” So I explained. Despite repetitive descriptions and elucidations, she didn’t seem to be “getting it”. This puzzled me, as she has a very good sense of time, and knows the days of the week thoroughly. Finally I realized that the problem was probably not that she didn’t understand the answer, but she wanted a different one.
So I decided to at least give her a sense of control. I drew a timeline, and each day she moves an attached magnet to the appropriate day, one forward. Immediately she stopped asking when her father would return. Not only did she understand, but she felt a sense of participation in bringing him home.

Don’t we all feel at times that we want to ask G-d something again, because we desire a different response? It can be so frustrating when we desire a specific answer, and G-d “somehow” decides to overwrite our script of “how things should be”.

But G-d is not Rickismom. HE never gets tired of the request, and will listen to us again and again. Wishing us all happy answers, Rickismom.

AAAUUUGGGHHH

First, I made the mistake of shopping with Rickie after her concerta wore off. I should have known better.
On our way home from her exercise class, we passed a favorite store of children’s clothing who were having an end-of-season clearance sale. I peeped in, and the prices were indeed very low. Ricki had asked me to buy her a bottled drink, so I told her that if she behaved well in the store, I would buy her the drink that she wanted, when we were finished.
At one point she stepped out of the store for a minute (not dangerous here). A few minutes later she was back with a drink. She had gone next door, said she was thirsty, and a stranger had bought her a drink. (Actually paid for one that she had opened.) AAUUGGHH!!!!!!!!! (Besides the point that that she “got around” my plan, there is the bit about letting a stranger pay…)
Well, I am firmly resolved that this will not be condoned. For a long time things are going to be refused because she went behind my back. She will rue the act.
But I am still exasperated. And I still feel like a mom who can’t control her child. She is getting more and more out of control. As soon as I start working on one area, three others pop up. Which makes me feel like a failure. I am so scared that this will become a habit (in actuality, it has…). I should have done better behavior modification on this before. I am embarrassed, frustrated, and upset. But I am also determined. I will not let this pass by. And I pledge to start seriously on a concrete, preemptive plan. If I don’t post something concrete by Monday, you can question me.