Hospital Tales #6- The Armchair

   As I mentioned a few days ago (in Tales #2),the first few days of Ricki's recent hospitalization, we were in the "mini ICU" of the medical ward, a large room with one nurse basically always there. We've been there before during previous hospitalizations, and there is an advantage, as this room has decent fold-down –to-a-bed-chairs for one family member per patient. The disadvantage is that often this room is noisier at night, as many of the patients there really need round-the-clock care.   However, on Wednesday we were transferred to a regular room. There are in these rooms mostly regular armchairs, and occasionally a fold-down type. Rarely even an armchair is not to be had. (One night I saw the wife of one of the patients sleeping on a blanket on the floor.)

   But as luck would have it, we have a relative who works part time at the hospital, and she was working Wednesday night. So she graciously offered to scrounge up a spare fold-to-a-bed-chair from HER ward for the evening. I was grateful, but since she was not working the next evening I was loathe to take responsibility for the bed for the entire weekend, worried that someone would swipe it from me, and I would end up having to recompense her for it. I figured that when reading Friday nights I often fall asleep in the living room armchair (which DOESN'T fold down to a bed), so how bad could it be to sleep in one at the hospital?

   [An aside: Often family members switch off (one at day, one at night, or different people each night), so one night with less-than-optional sleep is not too bad.This is I feel, the recommended way to do things/  But as someone who was there basically 24/7 (I was gone about 4 hours every two days to dash home and change clothing, etc.), my situation was different, especially as Ricki was quite difficult to deal with in the hospital. The staff knew this, and should have, I feel, given me a priority on decent sleeping arrangements.

    However, as Thursday evening came around, the ward was pretty full, and there were not even NON-folding armchairs to be had… only kitchen-type chairs. Finally at 1:00 AM after tossing and turning for two hours, I went out to the nurse's station, and told the nurse "Sorry, but without a minimum of 4 hours of sleep, I can't deal with Ricki tomorrow. I took her recently to the bathroom, she's sleeping. And I am going home. I will be back at 6 AM…." I exited quickly, took a taxi home, and one back in the morning.

   On my return I discovered to my chagrin, that Ricki had awakened, and had badgered the nurses all night about my whereabouts. My regret is that this disturbed the family member of the patient next to me.

   However, within 5 minutes of my return there was an armchair in my room.

Note: If a hospital can hire fewer nurse's aides because family members help with bathing, toileting, and feeding their family member, they should have a fold-down chairs for their family member who stays there. ESPECIALLY if it is a case where one person is the constant assistant (as I was).

Using My Head Instead of My Heart- Hospital Tales #5

    Three of Ricki's last five weeks have been spent in the hospital. And she used her situation there to her advantage. She craved attention, and she got it. Most of the time she kept me hopping with her requests (for food, drink, and entertainment), (For example, she would ask me to check every 5 minutes if "lunch was coming". If I refused, SHE went to check, which meant that she would be without oxygen.) Additional be-a-pest tactics included  refusal to wear oxygen, and other acting up. I guess she learned early on that Mommy did not appreciate her prancing half-unclad in the hall, wetting her bed, or other let's-get-Mommy-riled-up activities. In the hospital, it is easier for her to get away with these type of shenanigans, because if ignored her, she would bother the nurses, or other patients. 

    On our return home she continued to garner attention with negative behavior. After a few days,I tried sitting down with her and explaining that she has three options:

1)     To not wear her oxygen, get sicker again, and return to the hospital ("which includes blood tests", I reminded her…).

2)     2) To be a pest at home, acting out. Then mommy won't have the time to do fun activities with you, you will get punished, etc.

3)     The third choice is to be a darling wonderful kid that listens to Mommy……

"So what do you prefer?"

"The hospital!"

Yeah. I KNEW it…….

Explanations that Mommy does NOT want the hospital disappointed her.

    Anyway, the following day was a disaster. She tried innumerable tactics to keep me at her beck and call, and succeeded pretty well. She was pretty horrendous, and received PLENTY of negative attention. At day's end I realized that if this situation was going to improve, I would need to change the game rules. I would need to avoid giving negative attention, for even the most provocative behavior (like sitting absolutely stark naked in the living room….*), and simultaneously do two things:

1)     Lay down clear obtainable consequences for any bad behavior that continued.

2)     Be sure that when she WAS behaving to keep her occupied with various activities.

Ie, I simply needed to use my head, not my emotions, to persevere. Because although she weighs more than me, I am smarter (at least today I am…..).

*(I DID close the window slats so that the neighbors wouldn't be able to view her…)

Mountain Climbers (Hospital Tales #4)(And After the Climb)

[image: Longs Peak seen from Twin Sisters Peak]

 While in the hospital I came across the following in the book Mountain Climbers by Malky Feig. (This is NOT a book on the Rockies, but a well-written book by an orthodox Jewish writer, recording stories of people who have had special challenges in their lives.):

"Up there, where the mountain gets steep, there is something clear and invigorating about the air. There is something quiet and elevated that one doesn't always get to hear in the din below.
   And that something is the whispered connection between oneself and one's purpose, between oneself and one's Creator."

    This analogy rang very true for me when I was in the hospital with Ricki. You see, I KNOW the mountains. I have been* to the top of Longs Peak (altitude 14,259 feet  or 4,346 meters), the highest peak in Rocky Mountain National Park, from where one can see out of Colorado state. Last summer I climbed a much lower Peak, the Western side of "Twin Sisters" (altitude  11,413 feet or 3,479 m). And the view even from there was tremendous. You can see the hustle and bustle of the traffic on roads below, but the sound from below has dissipated, and you only hear up there the pure sound of wind--- and perhaps the noise from a ground squirrel or a marmot. [And you should get a friendly "How're doing?" from other hikers on the path, fellow humans who understand your attraction to these high slopes, while much of the remainder of the population would rather spent their "day off" in front of a computer.]

   Indeed, the experiences I wondered at in awe as a child had a definite effect on my soul, being a major contributing factor in my realization that there is a G-d.

   And, too, I am familiar with that feeling of being a bit detached from normal existence whenever Ricki has been seriously ill. And one comes to see life differently.

   But now I am home, craving a bit of normalcy, but I am struggling to reach that. Ricki, being ill and in discomfort has become terribly dependent on me, and eager to get attention (even if it be negative) from the crack of dawn until about 9 PM. Somehow, here in the house, surrounded by the tasks of everyday living, the concepts of life's challenges bring me closer to my creator are a bit harder for me to become enthused about.

*not recently, but as a kid….  

                                                      [image: The view from Twin Sisters' slopes....]

The Arab Cleaning Lady (Hospital Tales #3)

    One of the worst of the "trials and tribulations" of accompanying a relative and caring for them in the hospital, is the need for your family member (and you) to avail oneself of the "facilities". As in most public places, these tend to be… AHEM…not in very pristine condition. (Often those located in out-of-the-way areas of the hospital are in better shape, but if you are caring for your relative, you often can't go too far afield.)

An aside:

   It so happens that the hospital where Ricki was treated at has a large amount of integration: Arabs and Jews work side by side. Many of the doctors, and several of the nurses are Arab, and the staff  relations seem to be good. However, the cleaning staff is virtually (as far as I could see), non-Jewish.

   When I first entered the bathroom near Ricki's hospital room, I was full of qualms, even though it looked rather decent. So using paper towels and hand disinfectant, I cleaned the seat for Ricki. But as the day wore on, the room got worse and worse. The seat I could clean, but at one point the floor became so full of dirt that we went to another room, which was slightly better.

   The next morning a slim lovely-looking young Arab lady, about my married daughter's age, arrived. After she cleaned the toilet, I voiced my thanks, adding that I understand that her job is not easy or pleasant. She seemed to appreciate this, and every morning on her arrival I would greet her with a smile. She, in turn, allowed me to stay in the room with Ricki when she mopped, and she always gave Ricki a big smile.

   So I was patting myself on the back for following Rabbi Miller's advice to always thank workers for what they do. I figured that I had maybe even made a miniscule impact in Jewish and Arab relations in Israel.

   That is, until about five days later, when this young lady mentioned that she has a cousin with Down syndrome. It was simply Ricki who had taken her heart.

Hospital Tales, #2 (Moral included)

    The first few days of Ricki's recent hospitalization, we were in the "mini ICU" of the ward, a large room with one nurse basically always there. We've been there before during previous hospitalizations, and there is an advantage, as this room has decent fold-down –to-a-bed-chairs for one family member per patient. (I'll write more on sleeping facilities in a future post, G-d willing…). But after a few days, we were moved to a different room, and luckily we got the bed nearest the window. While the view (of the hospital imaging area's rooftop) was not that great, the sunlight (as opposed to artificial light ) was a definite improvement. Ricki noted the pigeon on the ledge outside, and being in a rather contrary mood, decided that she didn't like it there. She tried to shoo him away, but he was really not that concerned about the frustrated teen on the other side of the glass wall, and he continued to amble along the boardwalk (window ledge). Eventually he ambled out of sight and Ricki, content that her authority had been upheld, heaved a sigh of relief, and turned her back to the glass. What she didn't notice was that three seconds later, he had returned, with two more of his fellow pigeons tagging along behind him….

   *   *    *    *

   As I recorded this, initially just attempting to share a cute story, it suddenly hit me: Ricki wanted to be in control, and she was happy when she THOUGHT she was. But she wasn't.

    And we adults, so often confident that we are managing our lives, our finances, our health… when we really may not be aware of the "pigeons" about to walk by our window, which we may be unaware of… or only too aware of.

   Then suddenly, an event like (to take an extreme example) the Colorado shooting happens. I mean, my G-d, who kills kids in a movie theater? In Colorado? (BTW, in Israel everyone gets CHECKED before entering a theatre. I suspect the world will just have to get used to the inconvenience of security as the number of terrorists and off-the-wall "crazies" increases…). But even on a smaller scale… we can be dieting, exercising and doing everything right and STILL get ill. (Of course that doesn't mean that we don't need to make an effort to watch our health.).  The list of ways our lives could be turned upside down is depressingly long. Deep down we need to be grateful to G-d for every good day, for a day of health, no hospitals, no bad news. Because, when our backs are turned, ultimately we are not really ruling our world…..

Living Normally (As Much as Possible)

   Anyone who has had a seriously ill child knows the scenario:  You can be living your "normal" life when suddenly you realize that your child needs to see the doctor RIGHT AWAY, or you need to head out to the emergency room.

   On a moment's notice any other plans and/or obligations you have are dropped or postponed.  If you have a few moments you might grab your calendar to see what things are getting chopped out of your life, what you need to reschedule, who you need to notify that you are not showing up…..

   [Real "fun" is when a specialist's appointment you have been waiting for ten weeks already gets knocked out like this…..Last week Ricki missed a lung specialist appointment we had scheduled over two months ago, because she was in the hospital.]

    And when you do finally come home, there is usually a big backlog of things that you need to do:

-        Scheduling follow-up care

-        Getting equipment/services you need

-        Trying to make your house look like a home, and not a disaster area…..(Does anyone out there have families that REALLY keep their home clean and neat in their absence????)

-        Catching up on all sorts of things that you normally do- shopping, mending, folding laundry, etc.

   In addition, the strain and stress one feels during the time of an emergency often gets pushed down and ignored, as one struggles to meet the challenges demanded of the parent. On arrival home, when one has time to think, the enormity of what one has experienced can occupy your thoughts, and built-up lack of sleep takes its toll as well……

But here's the catch: It is so easy, when there is a backlog of tasks to do to try and do it all…

   Don't fall for that trap. Get your sleep. And while some tasks need to be tackled right away, if something is not threatening a family member's health, or the basic well-being of your family, give YOURSELF some free time. Do some "normal" living.

    As an example:

    Ricki was discharged on Thursday evening. On my return home I postponed unpacking, and instead threw a load or two of laundry into the wash, made myself some NORMAL food, and cleaned a bit in the kitchen. The next morning I started the day with a brisk walk that "I don't have time for", calculating that I could unpack after shabbas (the Sabbath) if necessary. The rest of the morning I spent arranging medical matters. Sunday I spent most of the day running errands, mostly related to medical matters, but I took a few minutes to pick up the class notes of a computer lesson I had missed two weeks previously (the day Ricki was hospitalized).

  By Monday morning the real "important" things had largely been done, so I went to my ceramics class, although I left it early to attend to a matter at the health fund before it closed. Then in the evening, we did some drilling work, which left the house dusty, and an hour and a half before my swimming class I noted that Ricki's leg was MORE swollen. I quickly darted with her over to the doctor (who is luckily just a few steps from our house), I came home and wiped the kitchen down a bit (from the dust, so people could eat….), gave Ricki her clexan injection, and ran out the door to go swimming. I arrived a bit late (thus getting in only 45 minutes rather than an hour), but I went. I opt to keep my life as normal as I can……

   And by the way, that is why the blogging of "Hospital Tales" will take a while. Real life needs to comebefore the virtual one, as much as I would LIKE to "do it all"......

Hospital Tales, Number 1

    Due to her excess weight, drawing blood from Ricki is PRETTY difficult. One doctor was able to draw from a vein under an artery ( vein unseen…), another was good at drawing from her femoral vein. But that was it. It is so difficult to draw blood that she has been sent home with a year's prescription of anti-coagulant injections (Clexan), rather than the stronger Coumadin pills, because Coumadin requires blood tests to be done weekly…..

   But Ricki really knows the techniques pretty well… tie a rubber glove "tourniquet" to make the veins prominent, pat the area to add to the visibility of the vein, and then draw the sample…and while in the hospital, she often played doctor to a stuffed toy I had bought her.

    On our return home, she demonstrated for her father….

 (although she "injects"… I guess mixing up the two procedures…..) [at 0:27 she even lifts up the syringe as the nurses do to check the dosage.....]

Back Home!

   As of late Thursday afternoon, Ricki and I are home!  (Although she IS on OXYGEN!)   Thank G-d her PET scan came out clean....


 I have about 7 posts planned, BUT I need my sleep tonight even more.... so soon.....

AGAIN! (In the Hospital!)

   "Ricki" was in the hospital (second time since Passover) on the 17th to 22nd of June. She had, as the previous time, "some type" of lung disturbance", although we managed to get her in fast enough to keep her pout of ICU. They treated all possibilities, and with in a few days  her Oxygen saturation levels improved. They even did a CT of the lung (regular), heart echo, and lung function test, but the first 2   were normal, and the last was hard to get a good test done. In the end, the doctors decided that this was all caused by stress on the heart from not wearing her CPAP at night, causing fluids in the lungs. During her stay she complained of leg pain, so they did a Doppler test of her leg, but it was OK as well. So we went home, fought her for a week (and she wore the CPAP at least half of every night)... and by Sunday July 1st she was cyanotic again... entering the hospital again July 1 with an O2 sat of 60! (There went her "camp" and my mini vacation... I didn't mind so much and she was too sick to care, poor thing....)

   Again, tests showed nothing conclusive, but on Monday her leg  (which as always with her lung problems tend to have fluids) was purplish which I showed the doctors. A repeat was done of the Doopler, and she has a thrombosis. They started  milder anticoagulants right away, to prevent pulmonary embolism.

   So again they treated all possibilities, but she has NOT been getting better. A repeat Echo heart was done with the "expert" echo technician checking it, and again the results were normal. Yesterday they redid a lung CT, but with dye in the blood, and she has a PULMONARY EMBOLISM! In addition, she has a few "suspect" nodes that they want to recheck with iodine CT, and biopsy if needed. As soon as they are sure that the nodes are not cancerous, they will start Coumadin for the embolism.

   Of course, the hospital has generated several good potential blog posts, but you'll all have to wait till I have more time. I have to get back to the hospital (came home for three hours...)

NOT Waiting for the Bus

   I had a busy day ahead of me one day last week, one in which including swimming in the evening. (And I need to walk about 5000 steps to go and come back from the pool). So getting my 10,000 daily steps did not appear to be a potential problem. So as I left city hall (having attended to a needed task), I decided to take a bus to the mall where I needed to buy something. At this point, saving time was more precious than gaining steps. But as I reached the bus stop, I saw a bus of the line I needed pulling away. And a quick glance at the timetable posted on the bus shelter informed me that the frequency of this line at that hour was about 20 minutes.

    "HMMM " I pondered, "twenty minutes plus ten that the bus needs to reach the mall equals a half hour. In 35 minutes I can reach the mall on foot…."

   So I walked it.

   Being thin(ner) gives one an entire different mindset. At 150 kilos I would NEVER have entertained the idea of walking instead of waiting for the bus…………

The Solution

    Ricki understands that she needs to have clean clothing. Unfortunately, she doesn't let that need stop her from rubbing her dirty hands on her clothing. So the other day she came up with a novel solution: She packed a second, spare blouse into her schoolbag. When her teacher warned her not to wipe her hands on her blouse Ricki replied: "Don't worry, I have a spare blouse….."

CPAP update

   Ricki's use of the CPAP is still touch and go... she doesn't like it, but we insist, and she usually falls asleep rather quickly. Eventually I go to bed, and then it is a matter of time before she half-awakes and rips it off. Then I get up in the middle of the night and replace it....

Home Again (from the Hospital)

   Yes, we were in the hospital again.  Since Sunday we have been in the hospital, again with respiratory issues. Apparently Ricki's non-compliance with wearing her CPAP is wreaking havoc, and I hope that she will wear it now. It has been made clear to her that wearing the CPAP is no longer an optional choice, but truly a necessity.

   Today she was discharged and I am looking forward to sleeping in a REAL BED tonight (rather than a reclining armchair).

   I was able to keep my diet in the hospital, and got minimum amounts of steps done (10,000 daily). [We were on the same floor as last time- without ICU-intensive care- and the staff is already used to me pacing the corridor back and forth at 10:30 PM and 6 AM……LOL]

She Has It Down Pat….

    Ricki came home from school, coming through the front door in a cloud of exclamations.

   "Mom, where are you? You must see this! I have the forms for camp! Come see!"

    The regular school year is almost over (already?!?). This will be followed by a summer program, which will include a one-night sleep-over ("camp").  Ricki has all the information down pat: where they get served lunch, which teachers will be there, what to pack, etc. She is VERY excited!

    When was the last time I was that excited? I guess when I went to visit my mother last summer. May we all have happy events to look forward to .

The "Gozal" ("Fledgling") Returns…..

     I don't know how it is to be a mother in a peaceful country… but I am sure the feelings are the same as here:  we feel better when our kids are around. Somehow we carry within, we women, the expectations that if danger lurks beyond our doorstep (whatever that danger might be), at least at home they are safe. Of course, this is also an illusion… even though dangers are less at home, nowhere does G-d guarantee us a respite from the challenges of life.

    But having our older children around, those who are married, and who come for a visit, or a visit from sons in the army (or out-of town schools), has an added bonus: the pleasure of watching them mature, act responsibly (well, MOST of the time!)…..you get a chance to see some of the results of all the education, tears, listening, etc that carried them through the first twenty years of their life.

   Unfortunately, my married children don't come all that often, for various reasons. But this week my youngest-army son ("Y") moved back home. For a while he had been living with his older brother, but that brother is now in the states, and "Y" decided to move back home.

   In a way, the change should not be that great, as it was he was usually here at least once a week, anyway. (In addition, most of the week he is stationed in the north, too far to "pop in".)  And even though he darted in and out over the days he was home, I still  definitely felt the difference. This mother hen was very glad to have the hatchling back in the nest, glad for the additional chances to "mother" him, to share our space with him, to see this young fellow growing up.

Vanity Versus Health

    As I come closer to my ideal weight, the comments continue, usually something along the lines of:

-"Where is your other half?"

-"HOW did you do it?"

-"Rickismom, is that you?"

   But I have also been getting, much more frequently, urging to not lose more.

-"You look great, you've lost enough…"

-"If you lose more, it will just show in your face…"

    Now comments like these from anyone heavier than me are suspect. But lately, I've been getting these remarks also from thin women, and from people whose opinions I respect.

   As of today, my BMI is 30--- I am finally out of the "obese" range, but still classified as "overweight". I have been aiming for the higher side of the "normal", or "healthy" BMI range, which for my height is 66 kilos. I think that I can easily add 5 kilos to that figure, to compensate for extra skin layers (until I have them removed, if ever). That gives me a target of 73 kilos.

    However, I DO feel great where I am today… I have strength, feel good, and am pleased with myself.

   So yesterday I sat down to decide if I want to continue losing, and if so, by how much. Am I willing to have more facial wrinkles in order to reach a healthy BMI? Or since I feel so go-darn-good, maybe I CAN stop here? Is the difference between a BMI of 25  and 30 really going to have such an effect?

Vanity or Health?

   I one wrote that I'd rather LOOK old than FEEL old. But I already feel young, and wouldn't mind skipping those extra wrinkles……

    In the end, I decided that 5 more kilos will give me a buffer zone for maintenance, and to shoot for 75. And at that point, I'll be half of what I was about 4 years ago.

Not Self-Limiting Ourselves…..

[image: A poor photo of my mother and Ricki (I was taking the picture) at the top of the climb to Bierstadt (which is a few minutes walk away, behind me).]

   This post is a continuation comment on a very old post. (The Ranger story...) Check HERE  . I posted the photo to give you an idea of the altitude gain, which is about 566 feet. We started the hike slightly below the trees in the valley below.

Today's comment:

 Don't let other's perceptions of what you can do to limit you! Just because people of 150 kilos (330 lbs) are rarely seen on the trail does NOT mean that you can't do it! (Note that I HAD been walking daily for at least a half year before this occurred and was used to hiking...).

     Recently I have seen how much my overweight limited me. While most of these were due to the weight itself, some things may have been because of my own embarrassment, society's "rules", etc

   While many of society's strictures are rooted in good old common sense, many times we limit ourselves due to factors like "it isn't commonly done", "everyone will stare at me", etc. But if you want to do something, as long as it is moral, GO FOR IT!

Hanging in There…..

   For the last two and a half monthes my weight has been pretty much static… wavering from an all-time low of just barely under 80 kilos to 82 or 3. But mostly around 81. There were severeal reasons for this..

v -the pre-Passover period(ie., sleep deprivation coupled with swiss chocolate "instant energy")

v -Passover (guests, festive meals)

v -Ricki being in the hospital

v -My surgery

   So as I went to weigh myself this morning, I was beset with negative thoughts. How long will it take me to get back to under 80 kilos? If I find it so hard to lose, what will happen when I'm older and can't just walk out the door for a brisk hour walk to burn off an extra 200 calories?

   But the truth is, if we are honest with ourselves, correctly counting calories, portion sizes, noting pitfalls, and correcting them, EVENTUALLY we will see the results. We just have to hang in there and keep going.

   [And BTW, I clocked in at 79.75 kilos today. YEA!]

Cherries "LKavod Shabbas"

[explanation for those that may need it: The Jewish Sabbath ("Shabbas"), is celebrated, amongst other ways, by eating three festive meals. It is customary to purchase and/or prepare especially good food for the Sabbath. This food  is bought "LKavod" ("in honor of") the Sabbath.]

POST:

   Losing weight has not only enhanced my health. It has enhanced my observance of the seventh day, Shabbas. Here's why…

  Have you ever baked a cake "LKavod shabbas", only to eat more on Friday than on the Sabbath? Or purchased a food item for the Sabbath in amounts plentiful enough for Friday AND shabbas? That used to happen to me a lot. Yes, there is a custom to taste the Sabbath food being cooked on Thursday or Friday to be sure that it is tasty, but let's not kid ourselves. In many households much of the Sabbath food is sampled in quantity on Friday, making it a bit less special on the Sabbath.

   But now that I am dieting, I strain to keep my calorie count on Fridays to a minimum, knowing that I have a two course meal ahead Friday evening. So I bake the "shabbas cake" with one tiny lick of the batter (to be sure that I didn't substitute salt for sugar and the like…), and generally save the cake itself for Saturday morning. And the cherries I bought specially "LKavod shabbas" this week went untasted by me until shabbas. And when I DID have them, they were REALLY in honor of the seventh day, and not just a weekly excuse to indulge….

The "Brownie Points"

    Ricki's older sister and her husband live in a room on our roof at the present. So it is hardly surprising that my cooking has been influenced… not only by amounts, but by content. You see, my son-in-law is of Moroccan extraction, so gefilte fish and bland meat balls just don't make the grade. But since my husband grew up in Brazil, and is used to spicy foods, He is also amenable to the use of more spices, so I am gradually changing a lot about the way I cook. I still keep things pretty "cool" (bland), but sometimes throw in some fresh Kuzbarah (Coriander), and on occasion, even a touch of hot pepper.

   Yesterday (Wednesday) I made some Chili in a slow cooker, and threw in a nice bit of chili powder to satisfy the men.  I knew that it would be a smidgen spicy for me, but that's OK. HOWEVER I remembered a bit too late that I was surely out-classing Ricki's piquant-quotient. But I could solve that by mixing in some leftover rice to her portion. And that worked fine… at first.

  Ricki enjoyed her serving of Chili, and went to the kitchen for a second portion. [She had eaten enough, but she wanted more, and we have not yet put up a gate to keep the kitchen off limits.] She dished more chili onto her plate, but neglected to add rice, since there was no more. Sitting down in the dining room, she took a few bites, and then announced meritoriously:
   "I'm not going to eat this second portion. It's really too much for me…."

   I confess that her completely out-of-character passing up a second portion of food prompted my husband and I to erupt in a burst of laughter, much to Ricki's chagrin. My husband quickly noted, "Nebbach  (ie.,poor thing),she wants to at least earn "brownie points" if she can't eat the food."

 So we stifled our chuckles, and I praised her for 'curbing' her appetite…..

The Ripple Effect

Introduction:

   I used to be an avid daily reader of Dave Hingsburger's blog, Rolling Around in my Head. He is an articulate blogger, and an entertaining one as well. Even more important, he is an informative writer, and a world expert on prevention of abuse, and on sex education of those with intellectual disabilities. Lately I haven't had time to keep up with ANY of my blog reading, so I have pages and pages of his blog copied to real paper to read some day at my convenience. I want some day to catch up on reading his blog, something I have not done with the other blogs that I read. [For any of my readers with a child with special needs, I consider this blog as the ONE blog not to miss.] [And to any readers who wonder how a chareidi orthodox Jew can read the blog of someone who has what the Torah deems a "deviant" life style, I can only say that I need not agree with every action done by every blogger that I read. And his dealing with insults has given Mr. Hingsburger a very "true" knowledge of the ramifications of prejudice and abuse.] Over the years, Dave has evolved from having a very aggressive interaction to insults (due to his disability) to a more mature stance, and his stories involving those with intellectual disabilities are often very heartwarming, and always informative. His blog has often given me the push I need to let Ricki do things more independently.

Blog:

   Now this morning, for some reason I decided not to "dive into" my day, and did some reading instead. I checked out the last few posts on "Rolling Around in my Head", and found this story.

[Nu, I'll wait while you go read it….] 

      Now Dave has even "better" stories on his blog, but I feel that we all can learn something tremendous from this story.  The audience member who left the cough drops for Dave thought that he was doing a kindness for Dave, and he was. But unless he reads this (Dave's) blog, he will never know the extended benefit that his small act of kindness served.

   Our actions have ripple effects. A child sent out of the house with a loving hug and a smile (rather than a snarled "Run downstairs FAST before you miss your ride") will probably undoubtedly have a better and more productive day.  A warm smile, a helping hand, the smallest of gestures, will not only accomplish that small kindness, but it has a ripple effect on the person receiving it, and often even on passersby. And often only G-d will know the consequences of our deeds.

Washing Her Hands…..

Introduction: Those of you unfamiliar with Jewish law will understand this post better if you know the following: Jewish law requires that before consuming bread, one needs to ritually wash one's hands (with water from a cup, poured over the hands).

The Post: 

    Ricki had gotten up a bit late this morning, lethargic after the extended three-day "Shavuot" holiday weekend. She didn't feel 100%, and decided that she would stay home for the day, which I allowed. I prepared a light breakfast of toasted bread for each of us, hers with ketchup, and mine with 5% white cheese. I washed my hands, sat down, and said a blessing over the food. Ricki promptly sat down and dug in, without blessing or washing her hands.

 - "Um, Ricki, it seems to me that you forgot to wash your hands…."

-  (shrug)

- "Ricki, you know that you need to wash your hands…"

(SHRUG from her)

-"Ricki, the angels in heaven are waiting to see you wash your hands and bless…"

   A few moments passed. I decided that arguing with her would be counter-productive, and indeed, a few moments later, when it was no longer apparent that she was "capitulating", she went to wash.

TEENS!

Monopoly

Monopoly

   [an aside: I tried writing this post from the hospital a few days ago, but was unable to complete the post. Hence the post being "titled" only for a few days….]

  Remember the Monopoly games of our youth? Remember the "get out of jail free" card? It was always a good one to have.

   Now try and imagine an inmate playing monopoly with the prison head, and on drawing the "get out of jail free" card, he is informed by the jailer that he can leave the prison for good. Wouldn't he be ecstatic?

   Sometimes I feel that I have drawn the "get out of jail free" card in my life. Overweight was limiting me in so many ways that I can hardly count them. Some I was not really aware of until the weight came off and I experienced life without all that extra poundage….

   Here are just a few that recently came to mind:

-the ability to ride a bike in the park

-hospital gowns that fit and wrap around and cover the back of you as well as the front

-hospital staff who see you as a person, not just as a BMI of 50+

-being able to run to catch a bus

   These are just a few things. But I really feel that I've left the jail of my own making…..

AMAZING

   Amazingly, we are home already! (And it 's a good thing, too, because they were NOT giving Ricki her psychiatric drug and she was driving ME crazy!

Ricki update

   Ricki was left in ICU for shabbat, so I walked over there (75 minutes walk each way) early in the morning , before it got too hot.
   This evening I went again and she is doing MUCH better. Hopefully she will go to a regular floor tomorrow AM, and maybe even home before the next weekend....

Getting Run Over by a Truck…

   No, thank G-d, not even anything remotely related to trucks entered my sphere today. But on returning home after visiting Ricki in the morning, and doing a few health checks for myself, I forwent doing some needed housework, and simply sank into bed for a half hour. I mumbled to my husband on the way “I still feel like I’ve been run over by a truck…”

   Albeit this was an EXTREEME exaggeration, but just the previous evening I remembered a friend who used to always say “I feel like death warmed over…”. I was able to relate. So Last night (Wednesday), I made a point to get in a decent amount (at least for me) of shut-eye. So why was I STILL feeling exhausted?

   Let’s face it. Having a child in the hospital, especially ICU, is stressful. Even though in my mind I understand that Ricki will (G-d willing) be OK., the tiny nagging voice of fear reminds me that there are no guarantees. In addition, my schedule is a whirlwind not of my own design, and I am encumbered by the necessity of navigating around visiting hours, bus time-tables, etc.

   Add to this the realization that one is undoubtedly being evaluated by hospital personnel, people I am dependant on at this moment for Ricki’s well-being. All of these ingredients add up to a pretty spicy soup!

   So here are a few tips for those who may someday find themselves in the hospital with a loved one:

1) Eat healthy. Take the time to go to the hospital grocery (or a store nearby) and buy some vegetables and fruit. DON’T subsist on coffee and pastries.

2) Get up when your family member is sleeping and walk around a bit in the hall. Stretch your legs. (An MP3 with music enhances this….)

3) Get some easy listening music onto an MP3 player to listen to when you want to relax.

4) Sometimes skip #2 and nap instead….

5) Listen to the news report to remind yourself that the outside world still exists….

6) Remember to frequently say “Thank you” to the staff.

7) And if they handled your relative when he/she was in a “cranky mood”, and did it well, let them know how much you admire the way they handled the situation….

8) Preface requests with “When you are able…” “When you have a few moments, could…” This implies your understanding that your relative is not their only patient, and important priorities might preclude them helping you this second.

9) Remind them of requests if needed, but calmly.

10) If you catch them snacking/eating, (UNLESS IF THERE IS AN EMERGENCY) tell them “Bon Appetite. Later I would like to see you….”

Enhancement

   Since Ricki is still in ICU, and I can not be with her the whole day, I took the opportunity to run do a few health check-ups that I needed.  As I was sitting waiting for some test results at the health fund, I saw an obviously pregnant woman exiting the ultrasound suite. Now usually women look pretty happy when they do this test, assuming that all is well. She, while not looking upset, DID NOT look very happy either. I wondered to myself if she had been told of the possibility of some problem. What would I tell a woman who has learned that life is becoming more complicated than she had hoped for, IF I could?

   I would not give a “Pollyanna” whitewash. Having a special needs child is tough at times. But I would add this:

   Yes, mothering Ricki is tough at times, and sometimes I mutter to myself that when I agreed to take her home, I never dreamed that she would do “XYZ”….LOL. Yet having parented Ricki has enhanced my life in SO MANY WAYS.

-   I have become friends with other “special needs Moms”, who by and large are an incredible group of ladies.

-  I have learned to enjoy what I have, and take much less for granted.

-  I am much better able to emphasize with people who are going through a crises of any type.

-  I have learned that my worth is not based on what my child accomplishes (the “My Son, the Doctor” syndrome), but on the choices I make.

-  I have learned that as much as I think that I am in control of my life, G-d laughs at my stupidity, and can turn my universe topsy-turvy in a moment….

-  I have learned that love need have no limits…..

update

Ricki in ICU, but (so far at least) not intubated. CO2 levels way too high. Getting antibiotics, steroids, tamiflu

Ricki in Hospital

Ricki is in the hospital again with pneumonia, similar to the scenario we went through last year. (See  posts of June 5-23). So far she has not been intubated, but today she was sent to ICU and her CO2 levels are high. They even did a CT of her lungs to check for underlying lung disease, but the results are inconclusive.

Havel Havelim #358

    Again I am hosting “Haveil Havalim”, a roundup of posts from the Jewish blogsphere, carnival style. Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs — a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It’s hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term "Haveil Havalim," which means “Vanity of Vanities,” is from Koheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon.

The site that runs blog carnival has been fuzzy at best as of late and has left those of us hosting relying on writers to join the Facebookgroup and check there for whom is hosting and to whom you need to email your weekly posts. You can still try to submit them through the “ Blogcarnival” page but I wouldn’t count on it….

When submitting posts, remember that they should be from the last week.

[Disclaimer: My posting of Havel Havelim does not mean that I agree with every viewpoint of these blogs.]

   Well, I can start out with the good news that I received many more submissions than the paltry few which were sent to me last time, in January. So here we go!

POLITICS

   - With elections in the air we will probably inundated in coming weeks with posts in the sub-category of “POLITICS”.  And the ever-prolific blogger Batya Medad of Shiloh Musings has kicked the ball off with 2 posts, “The PoliticalPressure Against….” and “Tsippi Livni Quits…”

[Batya also reminds of the monthly Rosh Chodesh gathering at Tel Shiloh...]

   -ESSER AGAROTH at (where else?)ESSER AGAROTH comments on “More Co-dependent Idiocy From the IsraeliGovernment”

Memorial/Independence Days

Sharon Marks Altshul, blogging at “The Real JerusalemStreets”

gives us three pictorial blogs of recent events in Jerusalem:

1.)Independence Day celebrations

2.)the passing of Ben Tzion Netanyahu

3.)and a march for the cure of breast cancer

Paula (at “A Soldier’s Mother”) 

In her touching post “How Far We Reach” speaks about the Post-Army service period… but there’s more. (I don’t want to spoil it for you.)

Ruti at “Ki Yachol Nuchal” shares in “The Wrong Time to Dance” 

a view that surely the dancers did not want to share. In addition she writes a poignant post (and of some Israeli pride) in her “ You Can’t Keep a Good Jew Down”

JUDAISM/ TORAH

Yoel Meltzer blogs at  “Towards a New JewishMindset” and gives us a dvar Torah “What is the “holiness” ofthe Shabbat?” 

 -Sara Brown at “AJew in the Rain”, (a blog which somehow, I’ve missed discovering until now….) shares and comments on an intriguing photo, in her post “InvisibleJudaism”   

   -This week, Susan Barnes from “To Kiss a Mezuza” 

takes the prize for “intriguing post title” with her post“How to Blow up a Demon”.

    - And Susan’s post prompted me (“Rickismom”) to sit down and write a post that had been percolating in my mind for a while: “Perceptions of Our Challenges”   (at Beneath the Wings)

       [Believe me, I was tempted to call my post “Blowing up Demons, continued”, but that would be plagiarism. I have to learn from Susan how to write post titles……..]

PERSONAL / MISC

 At Trip’nUp (another new blog for me) Trip’n Mommy writes about  “Loving Life InIsrael: Raining Hope”

Miriam Goodman of “Miriam’s Words”  posts about “Our Chai Aliyah Anniversary”

Ester (“Northern Lights”) at “Frugel and Kosher” blog gives us a post “Online Shopping”

The Yiddishe Cup presents his view of the shidduch scene with ”SeminaryBrainwashing #1”

  That’s it for this week!

   Susan Barnes of “ToKiss A Mezuza”  will be hosting next week’s HH. You can PM her on facebook with submissions. 

Driving and Safety / Death Rears its Ugly Head

  Just this morning there was a terrible accident outside, at our corner.  Two young men on a motorcycle were thrown a huge distance; and at least one died.
    I do not know if alcohol or drugs were involved by either of the parties, or cell phone use, or not. But I want to take this opportunity to remind all of the dangers of all three. Most people today know well about alcohol and driving not being a good mix.
   But what people don't realize is that using a cellular phone, even HANDS-FREE is JUST AS DANGEROUS!. (click on link)

    My married daughter and son-in-law arrived on the scene moments after the accident... I don't imagine either will sleep tonight after what they saw. I have been sick at heart the whole day after hearing their description. Then, to my horror, it became apparent that I know the parents of the young man who died.
     Yes, death comes of so sudden at times. We shudder at the realization of our frailty.
  I am simply so caught up in this, and can think of little else. I know that this will pass for me, I will soon be back to "normal life".
    As I always say: "All we have power over is what WE do and how WE act." Nothing else.....

Perceptions of Our Challenges

In the Talmud Rabbi Yehuda said:   

    “In the Time-to-Come, The Holy One, Blessed is He (G-d) will bring the yetzer hara (evil inclination) and slaughter him before the righteous and the evil. To the righteous it will appear like a high mountain, and to the evil it will appear like a thread of hair. Both will cry; the righteous will cry and say, “How were we able to overcome this high mountain?” The evil will cry and say, “How were we not be able to overcome this thread of hair?” (Succah 52a)

       So is it big or small? How can it be both? Whose perception is correct?

       Actually, both. It’s like this (and I am examining this from the view of working on diet and exercise, but you can take this to any bad habit you need to work on…):

    People who are severely overweight tend to believe that their overeating is beyond control. I remember at one diet group that I attended years ago (which was not successful for me), one woman moaned “But this is a full-life ‘prison sentence’!”

   The presenter said no, that after one loses weight, they will not need to strictly diet. But in reality she missed the point completely. (No wonder her group didn’t work….)

   Any changes in lifestyle needed to lose weight will need to be continued, at least in a milder form, for one’s entire life (if you want to keep that weight off). BUT THAT IS NOT PRISON!!!   Prison is the enslavement we endure to food, the feeling that we can not break free from overeating, and the limitations that overweight places on us! And even more importantly, the presenter needed to inform her clients that if the work on making correct choices, they will acclimate to the new way of life. Gradually they will come to ENJOY their healthier lifestyle, even with the new limitations which seem so constricting at first glance. Even if you are used to eating a huge plateful of pasta for lunch, and a regular-sized serving seems miniscule, it will not appear that way forever. Each correct choice you make strengthens your resolve, creates new habits and expectations. Your psyche and body become accustomed to the new reality. There comes a day when you really prefer a nice salad (most days, at least) to an overly sweet  cream cake that is simply too rich for your newly developed taste buds.

   So let’s return to that Gemorah (Talmud passage) quoted above. The person who did not conquer his desires thinks that he has an insurmountable urge. But in reality, it is not so. The “dieter” needs to take things day-by-day, one moment at a time. He will find that each single instance of resisting his desires is not that hard, as long as he is determined to change his past patterns. (For example, fasting on Yom Kipper is not harder for the overweight person than the thin, as he understands with certainty that he can not eat.) One becomes habituated to being able to (generally) resist. He discovers that being in control of what he does is empowering. Liberating.

  And when all is said and done, G-d will show him that bit by bit, moment by moment (hair-by-hair), he climbed a full mountain!  

   [Hmmm... maybe I should apply this to my habit of under-sleeping as well as overeating,..........]

   (Thanks to Susan Barnes, whose post “How to Slaughter a Demon” prompted me to go ahead and write a post I have been toying around with for a while…. But if you follow the link, read the whole thing, don’t stop after just reading how to slaughter the demon….)

Ouzel Falls

Continuing On...

   Nearly a week ago I mentioned that I was doing a virtual "hike" to Ouzel Falls at walker Tracker, and suggested that you join me. (You still can! Click on the link "Join Me on Walker Tracker" in the sidebar. Then after you have joined, go to "competitions", and join the Rocky Mountain 4 competition... Its full of photos!)
   We are reaching "Calypso Cascades"... and here is a video...(which despite the thumbnail, is right-side up!):

Heart rate monitor

   Finally I decided to buy a simple heart rate monitor, to really check if I am getting aerobic exercise. It showed what I suspected: only my "faster" aerobic walking is probably aerobic. I hope that the monitor will encourage me to keep my pace up....

“Chaverim”

  Today is Israel’s Remembrance Day, when we remember those brave men and women who gave their lives for the sake of  the right of Israel to live in their land, as well as the numerous victims of terror. Tonight is the start of the Independence Day celebrations.

   Unfortunately, all too often, in years past, these days have been marred by misunderstandings, especially between the Chareidi  (ultra-orthodox)and the chiloni (non-religious) sectors.

   So I decided to make a short clip with pictures (mostly from Israel), and many from my family album, where we see that the Orthodox, chareidi, and chiloni public can get along, care for each other, . Whether we are Ashkenazi, sephardi, modern, Litvish, Chassidic, etc,(various sections of Am Israel) we are one people. Also we need to include those with disabilities.

    And for my non-Jewish special-needs readers, I will say that the message of getting along with those who disagree with you (you like inclusion, an acquaintance prefers all special-ed) is just as pertinent. And by the way, I included several pictures of Ricki in the clip; all are preceded by a heart-shaped transition effect.

   Note: The “music” for the clip is an A cappella (all-vocal) selection from a disc (of A.K.A/ pella) which I purchased. Please do not copy the music track.
   (Note : Those women whose eyes were blacked out are women who probably would not want to be featured on the "net")

Walker Tracker- Hike to Ouzel Falls!

   If you look at my side bar, you will see a link to Walker Tracker. This is an EXCELLENT site, encouraging walking and healthy eating.
   I am currently "sponsering" a walk there - a virtual hike- to Ouzel Falls (in the Rocky Mountains). Join me! (Sign up at Walker Tracker (it is free), and then join the "Rocky Mountain Hike #4" competition.
   Here is a video of COPELAND Falls (which is on the way to Ouzel)

No Shortcuts!

   Why am I sitting down in the middle of the morning to write this blog post, when I really have better things to do?

   Well, I am one of those persons that our sages call “truth zealots” – people who have trouble seeing lies and shutting up about it. That’s one factor.

   The second factor is that due to religious restrictions (lasting about a month) on listening to instrumental music, I have been listening to a (religious) radio station while working, rather than my MP3 music collection. And, invariably I am subjected to their ads. And the problem is that whenever the ads play, my blood boils, until finally I gave up and say now to write my reaction….

   So what has me up at arms? There are SO many things wrong in the world, but the blatant lies of a weight-loss pill company has me boiling.

   “Lose weight! Eat all you want! Abandon your unnecessary diets! Lose up to 8 kilos a month! Join the thousands who have lost (with our product)”

   Is there anyone who believes this  %^>*$##*$$& rubbish  ???

   The only way to lose weight in a healthy way, long term, is through SENSIBLE diet and exercise. And 8 kilos a month is not plausible. True, you can easily lose 2 kilos the first week of a diet, but it won’t continue that way.

    Losing weight sensibly means figuring out what is triggering your overeating, and finding other (non-food) means to achieve those things.

   And if anyone out there is hoping that maybe, just maybe, this   %^>*$##*$$&  works, the proof that it doesn’t is in their own advertising.

   If YOU had lost weight successfully with a miracle product, wouldn’t you tell your overweight friends? Of course you would. So IF they had “thousands” of successful weight-loss clients, believe me, they WOULDN’T have to pay for prime-time advertizing…….

   Sorry. There are no shortcuts. But believe me, this “long and winding road” to true weight loss is doable, enjoyable, and FUN!

True Confessions and the Price of Apple Pie

  The most significant thing about my last two posts is what I did NOT write: I gained three kilos over Passover. And while I know from experience that I can loose it quickly, a part of me deep inside is very fearful of backsliding. It would be SO easy to stop being careful, basking in my new thinner wardrobe, the daily compliments I receive… and slowly put unneeded pounds back on.

   Most of this last week I was good—kept my diet faithfully, despite a lot of hunger. But then can the weekend. And I definitely overate today.

   At the onset of Passover we had received (from an organization that we know) three small containers of cooking apples (in addition to a plentiful amount of onions and potatoes). The onions and potatoes were used up, but Thursday morning had me glancing at three boxes of apples, and wondering what to do with them. The easiest way to use them up was obvious to me…..use them to make an apple pie. But I was hesitant to do so, because my mother’s apple pie recipe makes a confection that is hard to resist. In the end, I did make the pie, determined to have no more than two pieces of it. Well, the two pieces became four. As, in my heart of heart, I suspected they would.

   That is the price of baking an apple pie.

 Next time I bake a pie, I need to honestly access that price.

 OK. Now is the time to go forward, get back on track 100%. And get under 80 kilos again….

I know I've been AWOL

   Sorry for being so uncommunicative. Passover was a diet disaster- ate way too much , mostly from lack of sleep. I could tell what was causing me to overeat, but had little self control.
   Now that the holiday is over, I am pretty much back on track, and I am working to try and get into a routine that includes a half-way normal amount of shut-eye....
     Ricki is still struggling to get back into her get-up-and-get-going early morning wake up, and has missed her ride to school every day since school restarted on Monday. Luckily her sister was able to take her by car most of them. Finally tonight I was able to get her to bed at an early hour, so I hope that she will get up on time tomorrow.
   I am still not back up to my usual "walking" levels. Post Passover is also a busy time, and then when that was winding down, I managed to pull my back. (Lugging a heavy microwave back to the kitchen can do that to you......)  However, I had noted to myself that this is the first time that I have had back trouble since after losing my first twenty kilos......
   This afternoon I curled up with a good book and took a "day off" from just about everything. Tomorrow I hope to get back to my 10,000 daily steps (12K would be even better...).

End of the Passover Holidays….

   Thursday evening and Friday day were the last 24 hours of the Passover holiday. But since they were followed by Saturday, for all practical purposes the holiday (and leaven-less eating) continued through and until Saturday evening. (And in actuality, bread will be TABOO in my house until I get my Passover dishes stored away.)

  This is the first year that I did not get my dishes stored away the same evening that the holiday ended, and left part of the big job of getting them away for the following morning….and it is all due to our “adventures” from the end of the week.

   What adventures?

   Well, after staying up most of Wednesday evening preparing for my coming guests, I dove into bed Thursday night, ready to get some decent sleep before continuing cooking and serving the noontime holiday meal on Friday. (After which I would need to finish my cooking for the upcoming Sabbath….)

  Suddenly at about 9:30 am, the lights went out. I opened my front door, and seeing that the lights were off there, I assumed that it was a general power outage that would probably be fixed soon. [I will not go into the details of electricity and Jewish holiday/shabbas (Sabbath) observance, but in general (unless it is a life-threatening situation), we do not fiddle with our electric appliances/lights on the holidays, but use them as they were set up before the holiday or Sabbath starts.] After a while I realized that it was an outage affecting only OUR building, and the reality set in: I was looking at the certainty of the next 36 hours being without electric power: no lights, and more importantly, no fridge!

   But of course I have great neighbors, and whoever I asked gladly took some of my freezer/fridge items in for the weekend. I also changed my menus, making things simpler (ie, flexibility). In the middle I paused to give myself a lecture:  “Rickismom, you are NOT going to worry, nor fret, you will do what you need to, not worrying about the small amount of food that will spoil, etc…..”    Of course this is easier to do than say, but I managed in general to take things in stride.

   I also realized that without electric lights even on Saturday evening, until the electric company would come fix the problem, there was NO way I would finish getting the dishes away. And I decided that it wasn’t so bad, that there is no need to rush….

[Image: hand-made matzah--ie, unleavened bread:]

    Of course Friday evening with not enough candle light to read with, I went to bed on time. And woke up feeling GREAT! And now that Passover is finished I can stop gorging on junk. [It is VERY hard to diet on Passover, because besides having fattening holiday meals, matzah (at MORE calories than bread) just doesn’t fill you up like 2 slices of bread. And in addition there are also many good diet foods not available for the holidays.]

 And I will forgive myself the relapse, as long as I :

1)get back on track RIGHT away

2)start getting enough sleep

A Reminder From Heaven (or at Least the Heavens)

      Yesterday was a blustery type of day. It was supposed to be my last heavy-cleaning day before Passover (which starts Friday evening). I was planning to clean my living room as well as my fridge. That is a lot to do in one day, and I hoped to get an early start. Ricki left at 8 am for school, and I decided to dash next door to her doctor, to get a needed renewal of one of Ricki’s prescription medicines. Then I could buy the medicine early Monday, when I would go for my weekly weighing at the pharmacy. I also wanted to pop over to the bank and pull a bit of money from the ATM machine. The doctor’s office was empty of patients (as it usually is on Sunday mornings), and so within minutes I had the prescription.
     Next stop was the bank. The ATM machine was out of money (as it usually is, and not just on Sunday mornings…), so rather than walk all over town looking for a working computer, I opted for a live teller. I entered the bank and was relieved to see only two people ahead of me. But their business took quite a while. Finally after about twenty minutes, it was my turn, and as I opened the identity card I was holding (having taken it from my purse), I realized that it was Ricki’s. So I started fishing for mine. When I did not find it momentarily, I stood aside and let the next in line take my place. And I then went deep sea diving into the trenches of my purse, until I finally had to admit that my identity card was NOT there. Now not having an identity card is a big no-no in Israel, First of all, you can’t pull cash funds from the bank without one. And I couldn’t get Ricki’s CONCERTA without one (as it is a potentially abusable drug). So I went home and started calling stores where I might have left it during one of my recent purchases….to no avail.
        Finally I gave up, and decided to go order a replacement one, consoling myself that I needed a new one anyway since my ID picture contained therein is 80 kilos over my current weight. So I walked to the necessary office, getting needed photographs on the way, and waited nearly an hour in line. Finally at 11:30 I left with a new identity card in hand, but at least 3 hours behind in my schedule for the day. I was a bit peeved and anxious, knowing full well that it would be neigh-well impossible to finish the day’s work. Passing a store, I went in and bought some halvah. Walking home I was having a mental battle: treat myself (poor, poor me…) to halvah, or stick to my diet. And the halvah side won. I was about to take some, when suddenly I was reminded from heaven (or the heavens) that my actions were not correct: a bird flying above unloaded a tremendous amount of bird shit all over me. I instantly lost all appetite, and had to hurry home to change…. Now I am saving the halvah as a SMALL treat for a day that I REALLY stick 100% to my eating plan……