Special Exposure Wednesday-Ricki and nephew

Ricki's sister let her feed the baby a bottle the other day. If Ricki has a vision of heaven, this is probably pretty close to it......

You Get Exactly What You Work For….

My step count has been down somewhat as late. And even more telling is that my aerobic walking is way down. Most of my walking steps are to get from here to there, and not my lovely walking paths with good lung-enhancing uphill treks. This is all due to my very crowded schedule as of late, in an effort to finish off outstanding things that MUST get done, before I really get started with cleaning for Passover.
And, unfortunately, I am already noticing the effects. On Saturday afternoon the weather was excellent, so I went out for an hour’s stroll. I purposely included one of “my” hills, and I could see that my stamina was a bit less. There is simply no substitute for aerobic exercise.
So as I get busy with Passover cleaning, which will be keeping me very busy, I hope to fit in some aerobic walking, at least 2-3 times a week. I hope. But sanity (ie, enough sleep) takes precedence.

Maybe I Can Wake up in Three Years?

My soldier-son, home for a few hours, was helping his younger brother fill out his "request for unit to serve" questionnaire for the army.
-"Don't go there, that is full of rough-necks. And don't even give a “one” there, as NOBODY wants it, and if you give a one, they will gladly stick you there. Instead,...."
This younger son is determined to go into whatever is the most combative unit possible, so that he won't be "bored". What in the world?!? What being bored? If he has free time, he can study for his matriculation exams, as his brother currently is doing. I understand that he wants a combat unit; he feels that it is a job someone has to do. OK. But the MOST combative?
As I commented to soldier-son afterwards, "Doesn't he realize what he will be doing to me?" Sometimes I wonder if he is brave, or simply fool-hardy. Has the "modern warfare" game given him a feeling that he can just get up and do and go on, in the face of danger????? (My younger son denies this….) Maybe I can go to sleep for the next three years???? How in the world am I supposed to live with this? Yes, with pride that he is willing. And a prayer on my lips, that he not take unneeded risks. I know that he will mature in the army. He will be more dependable, more serious, and yes, probably more willing to study. So what do I do with the terrible fear that hurls itself at me like a dragon from the tournament at Hogwarts?

A Band-Aid Story

Ricki loves to apply band-aids to any minor scratch that she might have. Sometimes the “sore” is so miniscule that I can not even see it. Or it may be a type of closed-skin hurt that does not need a dressing at all. But in general, Ricki is adamant about applying the treatment, and that is that. Well, almost.
Afterwards, there is always the need to tell her to pick up the band-aid wrapper, which inevitably gets thrown on the floor. I am simply amazed that she has not yet realized that it is easier to throw the wrapper away herself, than waiting for me to insist that she return to the scene of the crime and dispose of it properly.
Anyway, the other day she really threw a “Plaster (Band-aid in Hebrew) Party”. She had applied at least twelve plasters to her hands, and, as per her custom, had left the outer papers strewn across the floor of her room. Of course I had her pick them up.
Than, a few hours later, she suddenly removed all her band-aids, and reapplied one to the one sore the warranted it. And she even, without my telling her, gathered all the used pieces of dressing up, and deposited them in the garbage. “Eureka!” I thought. “She is LEARNING!”
No chance. A day later the wrappers appeared on the floor tiles again, as usual….

SOOC Saturday-Apples

Straight Out Of (the) Camera Saturday (motzai shabbas, saturday night for me) is posted weekly at Melody's Slurping Life. Go check it out. Her pictures are usually stunning.
Hope you all have a good week!
[image: apples and pears close up, with part of a chair visable in the background.]

The funny Thing…..

As I wrote on Wednesday, under pressure to write daily, I had found “ I have reached the point that I am finding it harder to say things worth reading”. So, having decided to temporarily (at least) blog less frequently, what happened? All of a sudden, I thought of several good posts.
Possible explanations:
1. -the devil is helping me, so I can blog ad infinitum, ruin my health, etc., etc.
2. -it’s the “vacation effect” (explanation forthcoming)
3. -(most plausible answer) having gotten a good nights sleep on Wednesday, my mind was in “functional mode” on Thursday…..

And what is this “vacation effect”?
Many times with special children and teens, you can be working with them (on your own, or with a therapist) to try and reach some goal. It is immaterial if this goal is walking, speaking a full three-word sentence, learning to adjust the hot-water flow in the bath independently, etc. Sometimes you feel that you have been trying and trying…. And trying… and nothing seems to be going in.
So you switch gears. Change goals. Or the speech therapist tells you that she’s taking vacation next month. (And you are wondering if that is true, or if she is simply trying to drop your “not progressing” child…..) And… a week or two later… BOOM! Suddenly he is doing the long-sought-after goal, as if he has been doing it forever…..

This happens a lot.
What goes in DOES eventually appear.

Dear Readers

[image: a steaming cup of tea]
Dear Readers,
Please sit down and join me for a cyber-cup of tea.
Purim is coming, and Passover on its heels a month later. For those who don’t understand the implications of this, it means that these upcoming two months will undoubtedly be hectic ones for me. Orthodox Jewish housewives (like me) clean every corner of their houses before Passover, with a tendency to over-do than under-do.
And I have several outstanding things from before this that need to get done.
And if I want to loose weight I need to get enough sleep, and at least sometimes get out for aerobic walking.
I am sure you can see where this is heading: I have to cut down on the blog, at least for the next two months.
And actually, I am not sure that this is a bad thing. Having written 845 posts since November 14, 2007 (812 days), I have said a lot. And I have reached the point that I am finding it harder to say things worth reading. I feel that the quality of my writing has deteriorated, and I am straining to post daily. In addition, Ricki’s regular, everyday behavior is not all that interesting. [Yeah, reading how she got dressed, made an egg, etc, is interesting day after day….] But if I only write about her bad behavior, that will give everyone a VERY lop-sided view, which is hardly the purpose of this blog.
So, in short, I plan to stop posting daily, but do hope to improve the quality over what I have been dishing out as of late. For those who follow me by clicking on my address, I humbly suggest to pop in 2-3 times a week. Those who follow me through blogger will have it easier. Please bear with me, and I hope to still keep you as readers.
Have a nice weekend!

Making It Kosher….

When I was a child, one of my mom’s best dishes were part of our camping experiences: red kidney beans and ground beef. My mother used to concoct this on a “primus” camping stov. And I loved it.
As an adult I had tried to copy this dish, but had never succeeded. First I blamed the fact that I had used ground turkey. So I bought the more expensive ground beef instead. But the dish was still lacking. Finally, last summer, visiting my mom, I mentioned this. So then she informed me of her “secret” ingredient: bacon.
Well, my Mom can use bacon, but since I keep kosher, I can not. I laughed and told my mother: “Well, I don’t think I can copy the taste of that recipe, can I?”
But I did. Almost. I took some chicken skins (which I saved and froze last week just for this), and fried them to a crisp. Then I fried the onions and ground beef in that. An added bit of garlic and black pepper, and some salt, and the whole lot got thrown in with the cooked and drained red beans.
The result: a less-than-healthy dish, but a deliciously kosher food and wonderful memories of years gone by.

Mazel Tov! (??)

Ricki announced to me that “Gilli” is engaged.
“Gilli” is Ricki’s imaginary friend.
I gathered that some of the siblings of some of her classmates are getting married soon, so she decided, as “Gilli’s Mom” to join in the fun.
I keep reminding her that Gilli is not real, but she doesn’t like hearing that……

No Luck In the Kitchen

After a month, I am still waiting for the ceramic tiles I ordered for my kitchen to arrive. When I first heard that they were out of stock, but were one the way by ship, I calculated that there was still plenty of time to finish before Passover.
Then the tiles arrived early, but apparently the ship had some illegal merchandise, which is preventing the tiles from being released.
In short, I am getting rather used to working in half a kitchen, but that won’t work for Passover, so I am getting NERVOUS.

“Anything worthwhile in life”, my mother always said, “takes time and effort.” Good things, whether it is a good relationship with your spouse, a knitted sweater, good marks in school, or whatever---require imput of effort. Dieting, exercising, educating our children, etc, etc. Advertisments would like you to believe that you can get something for nothing, but it just doesn’t work that way. You get exactly what you put into it!

My Smart Daughter

Sometimes Ricki does some pretty smart things. And sometimes I wonder HOW she did something….
Ricki is sick. She’s had a cough, which has gradually gotten worse over the week, and finally I kept her home from school on Friday. Initially I had told her that this vacation from studies was for only one day, but last night as her coughing got even deeper, I decided that this morning we will be visiting the doctor, not the school. Despite her lack of elevated temperature. I have seen Ricki in the past have pneumonia without having a temperature, and when Ricki told me that her back hurts when she coughs, I got worried.
So I informed my daughter that school was not in the plans for tomorrow, but rather a visit to the doctor. About half an hour later, I noticed her school bag on the floor, and instinctively asked: “Ricki, did you prepare your school books for to marrow?”
“Mom, I thought you said that I was going tomorrow.”
Yeah. Right…
* * * * * *
Meanwhile, recently when my son’s computer wasn’t working, I noticed that he had set up a new user name on my computer. After giving him a tongue-lashing for having the audacity of doing such a thing without my permission, he claimed absolute innocence of the crime.
Had Ricki, fiddling around on the computer done it? I suspected not. But yesterday as I tried to open my word program where I keep this blog, I was informed by the computer that it was “read-only”, having been edited-protected by user “2009”. And my son hasn’t been on my computer for days.
I am always worried that Ricki will open my files and alter them. I guess I will have to set up a user name for her to keep her away from my files. But my real worry is that one day she will simply delete “windows”, clicking “yes” to the “are you SURE?” query of the computer…..

He Has No Idea (I Think)

My soldier-son is home from the army for the weekend. As always, it is comforting to have him near. Right now he is in his brother’s room on the roof, away from the hustle and bustle of erev shabbas and erev Tu B’Svat preparations. (The preparations before the Sabbath and the mini-holiday of Tu B’Svat.) He very reluctantly told me that he could not pitch in and help today; he is studying for his (late) bagrut (matriculation) exam of next week. I happily encouraged him to go study.
Meanwhile, I am listening to a disc of Chedva Levi, and she sings the song “V'Hi S’Amdah”. (This, for those who don’t know, is from the Passover seder, and is a praise of G-d who managed to always rescue us from extermination.) The problem is, not always does G-d save ALL of us. Soldiers die sometimes. And as I listen, tears run down my face (literally) and the song becomes in my mind, a plea to G-d: “Keep my son safe!”. I generally try to keep my fears in check, but this particular rendition of “Mi S’Amdah” has me in tears every time.
Now if my son would see me thus, he would be flabbergasted. He hasn’t, I suspect, the faintest idea. He knows I have fears (I have told him), but he never sees the tears.
May G-d protect all of our sons.

An Umbrella Tale

Ricki trudged up the stairs after a long day at school followed by her afternoon program. It had been a winy day, but no rain. As is usual, Ricki was hauling with her two schoolbags, and an extra nylon bag. Tucked under one arm was an umbrella, lavishly colored in bright hues, as if to chase away the dark gloom of a cold winter’s day.
The problem was that the umbrella was not ours.
Unfortunately, I am no Sherlock Holmes, and it was not readily apparent to me where the umbrella was from. I tried quizzing Ricki, but was simply treated to repeated declarations from my daughter that the appliance was her own. But, of course, it wasn’t, and I said so.
Compounding the situation was the fact that this umbrella could easily have come from any of three places:
-her school
-her afternoon program
-the neighbors (Who often leave wet umbrellas in the stairwell as they dry)
Repeated attempts at interrogating her led nowhere, and I was faced with the prospect of trying to track down the owner of an umbrella who may very well be a classmate or other special-needs child, and who may not have even been able to post a notice about the loss.
That afternoon, I had some errands to run along with Ricki, and when we reached the bottom of the stairs I noticed that she was again in possession of the pilfered object. So I had her go back inside and hang it on the stair rail, to await our return.
Later that evening, on arriving home, I noticed that the umbrella had disappeared. I pray that the umbrella was taken by it’s rightful owner, undoubtedly a neighbor. THEY are probably wondering how their rain gear fell one or two floors down, and happened to land exactly right-side up in place on the railing.

Almost Wordless (special exposure) Wednesday

These pictures are from the summer inColorado. But here nice rains have brought out some blossoms, and the feeling that soon spring will be here is in the air!

ORGANIZATION!

I once heard as a joke: the best gift for new special-needs children is a filing cabnit. And it is funny because there is a ring of truth to it. But hopefully a filing cabnit is a BIT too much....
THIS post at eSpecially Ben, writes about organizing your information. Here are my ideas, what worked for me.
First, you need to buy a display book (A4 size). It would be tempting to buy a huge one (to last forever), but don't do so. 40-50 pockets are plenty for starters, and you don't want that it should be so big as to be a pain to take with you on trips, etc.

Organizing the book:
1st page: YOUR contact information, relatives, etc. So that you have a chance of getting it back if it gets lost.

2nd page: INDEX (you keep adding to the index as you add pages to the display book). You will need to number pages as you add them, doing so even with pencil will do the trick. If you want, you can highlight entries in the index with different colors for different areas: pink (for example)for medical, blue for school and educational stuff, green for _______. (Or pink- cardiologist, green- endocrinologist, blue- hearing tests and doctors, etc.) (You can add a page to the back side of the pouch if necessary , if the first page finishes.)

Page 3: Contact numbers for doctors, therapists, teachers, etc. Update yearly (at least).

Page 4: A running timeline of events (several pages can be added to one pocket).


Page 5 on: documents

Magic Marker Monday: the "7 species of Israel"

Ricki did this homework page on the 7 special fruits of Israel, including drawing them (or their product):
(top to bottom) bread (from wheat), barley (she drew a stalk), wine (from grapes), figs (she drew 2), pommegranet, olive, dates (2). She is studying about these fruits in connection to the upcoming festive day celebrating TREES!

“Lottery” by Patricia Wood; a review

Lottery is a piece of fiction, and the main character is Perry, a young adult who is “slow” , but quick to add that his IQ is (barely) in the “normal” range. The book explores what happens when Perry wins the state lottery. When reading the book’s back cover, the statement that Perry’s Grandmother had taught him who to trust raised my hopes that I would be learning a few good ideas. That expectation was rather unrealistic, and it turned out, unfounded as well.
The book is positive in its view of the mentally-impaired, and points out very vividly their potential vulnerability. Perry mourns, struggles, and experiences joy as we all do. And as most good novels go, Mr. Perry Crandall wins his girlfriend by book’s end, and lives happily ever after.
What I found ironic was the fact that the ones Perry had to fear the most were his family (which is NOT normally the case), rather than his friends. And what I found unbelievable was the fact that all of his friends did NOT succumb to the easy task of fleecing Perry.
How many people with disabilities have friends who are really so trustworthy? It might make a good story, but as parents, we need to know that this is NOT the case. Those of us with children who have severe mental impairments, and who are leaving them money, need to set up a checks and balances system to help insure that the good of our child will stay the main concern of those who will help watch his money after our passing. The supposedly wise Grandmother, who knew the family, should have had safeguards in place to prevent the abduction of her home (after her death) from the intended recipient, Perry.
This story is cute, and can almost convince you of the good of most people. It gives voice and a very good view of the reality of sexual feelings (yet in a fairly mild way) of the intellectually disabled. Perry is a very well portrayed and believable character, as are indeed, most of the characters in the book.
[Note: This book is not suitable for most Chareidi readers due to sexual content, though mild.]