Thanksgiving

I confess that I don’t “celebrate” Thanksgiving, just as I don’t “do” mother’s day. In my mind, mother’s day is a largely retail-market-fueled guilt trip. And the Jewish equivalent (sort of) of thanksgiving is the sukkot holiday, held earlier in the fall.
And, in actuality, we should be showing our appreciation (to G-d and to Mom) much more often than once a year. Have you told your Mom how much you love her as late?
And as for G-d, try this: every day thank G-d at least ONCE for some part of your body that is working properly, without pain. Today I am thanking Him that my knees are getting better, and hurt MUCH less. But the list is endless. Be grateful.... and see how happy that can make you!

PS Mom, no I am not a hypocrite. A nice letter is in my email "to send" file, but for some reason, the server won't send it. I will try again later......
Folks, just know that my Mom is fantastic!(Really!)

Motivation

I won’t lie. There are days that going out on a walk seems like a real trek. My feet feel like lead as I start off most days, and the amount of time it takes for my circulation to catch up varies. And my knees, while better, sometimes still hurt a bit. A twinge, but that twinge lowers my taste for walking considerably. So what motivates me to keep going?
We often think that motivation is a matter of the heart. But I feel and suspect, more and more, that true motivation comes from the mind. When it is CLEAR to you what you are gaining from walking (or dieting), and losing by not doing so, the choice becomes obvious.
The problem is, that people don’t think too hard. My once-overweight son had a t-shirt which said: “I used to think that overeating was bad for me. So I gave up thinking.” HOW TRUE. Or we lie to ourselves (and others) that it is only “one more piece”, or “just tonight”, or “tomorrow I will start”.
If one pauses and thinks, the mind must reach the correct conclusion. But it must be clear enough, sure enough, to overcome the laziness and desire for comfort that we all have. And this is the power of a group or a good diet partner. Hopefully, they help us stop lying to ourselves, and to see without error.

"But They Will Laugh at Me"

[I wouldn’t write about this, for reasons of Ricki’s privacy, but I know that this issue evokes a lot of fears in new mothers. I have purposely timed the post to not coincide with the event.]
Sometimes the shear volume of things Ricki has to learn, that I must be sure that she understands, is overwhelming. Recently Ricki had her period, and this is still somewhere under #5. It is still a new process for her, and it was the first one she would really have to handle at school. So I checked that she had pads in her school bag, and explained when she should change.
“But they (her classmates) will laugh at me!”
HUH????

So I explained that her classmates ALSO get periods, and that she doesn’t see that and know that just shows that these girls were taught to be discreet. I explained to Ricki that she could also be discreet, and that no one needed to know about it.
On her return home that day, Ricki joyously announced: “No one saw and no one knew!” BRAVO!

The Memory Keeper’s Daughter- Movie Review

Last night I had the opportunity to watch the movie “The Memory Keeper’s Daughter”. When my son asked me today if it was “worth watching”, I told him that he might enjoy watching the scenes where Krystal Nausbaum plays the teenaged Phoebe. She does a beautiful job portraying her character, who is, incidentally, a likable, believable teen with Down suyndrome.
But other than that, I found the movie rather boring and unrealistic. The doctor and his dear wife have so many problems, yet somehow ignore the possibilities of going to get help until it is too late. These two characters appear very shallow to me, and the idea that the wife has a romance with someone she has just met does not jive at all with her earlier actions. As the doctor kicks Phoebe’s (fake) gravestone, the implication is that Phoebe’s birth was the cause of all of this couple’s misery. Sorry, I’m not buying that. Their problems are from lack of communication and consideration.....Period.

Small, Slow, Changes

Sometimes I am frustrated that the slow but steady change in my weight is only being seen on the scale, and other small changes I have picked up on. (Like clothing getting looser, increased stamina.)
Then it hit me: Maybe Ricki is frustrated when we don’t notice her baby steps towards change.
The fact that I have so many fewer “terror” stories to write this year than I did a year ago (and especially two years back) makes blog-writing harder, but it shows a big change in Ricki. Tonight, after eating too much, at least she came and checked with me before digging into the soy patties for a third time.
She has so much to learn, so much to acclimate to, the task sometimes seems endless. But what often goes unnoticed are the small tiny footsteps towards maturity and adulthood.

A Tail on My Trail

I had to make a brief visit to the doctor yesterday, about a lab test I wanted him to order. I feel confident going lately, especially as I am losing weight, even though I’m not sure the good Doctor knows that this is true. (Or maybe he is afraid that this is a passing phase. After all, for YEARS I have been TALKING about losing weight.)
Anyway, I was halfway there when I realized that Ricki was trailing me.
I quess that after three days of retreat, she was afraid that I would disappear on her again.
So with no choice (if I wanted to arrive at my appointment on time), I allowed her to tag along.
But I didn’t let her come in the office with me, and I refused to buy her any drinks, etc. on the way back.
I’m just wondering how long this “desertion fear” is going to last......

I've lost Over 20 Kilo!

I've lost another 2 kilos, taking me past the minus 20 mark! YEESSHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ("Yesh" is the Israeli slang for "WoW!, Right on! YEAH!!")

“Down syndrome Hugs”

Now, I have never believed this stereotype about people with Down syndrome being all so loving. If they hug people a lot, it is because society has trained them to do so (a rather dangerous training, too, I might add.
But Tuesday evening when I came back from a three-day retreat, Ricki was DEFINITELY the image of the cute, loveable, child. She hugged me, kissed me, and helped me with all sorts of things.
So of course on Wednesday she developed a bad case of the sniffles, a cough, and a temperature. Guess I better not plan to do too much stuff next week..... (Because for SURE I caught whatever it is that she has.....)

Special Exposure- off topic

Sorry, but for once on a wednesday I am not giving you a picture of Ricki, but rather a interesting flower-rock-fungus collection that caught my eye this last summer:

Monster face- Chapter 2

The other day,(see last Thursday's post, 30/10/09)as Ricki and I were returning from the shoe store, Ricki had strode on ahead of me a bit, a bag with her boots in one hand, and a too-big-for-one bag of popcorn in the other. Suddenly I heard a shriek, and looked up to see an elevenish year-year old girl hugging her mother in fright, as Ricki looked on, bewildered. Apparently, Ricki, being in a good mood, had offered the girl some of her popcorn, and this was the youngster’s reaction.
Moments later I caught up with Ricki, and she burst into sobs. “What happened?” she asked.
“Obviously she was scared.” Did you make a face at her?”
“NO!”
I paused. "So maybe a different day, some time in the past, you once made a face at her, and that is why she is scared.....”
But Ricki didn’t buy that explanation, and walked home a bit subdued.

I just hope the mother explained to her daughter (better late than never), that people with Down syndrome are PEOPLE.......

Monster Face –Chapter 1

Ricki has a horrific habit of making faces... a snarling, ogre-like “mask”.... when anyone looks at her. Now if she would do this to adults who stare, or even older children, I would understand. But she will snarl an angry “NU, what do you want?” at even the tinest tots who only HAPPENED to glance in her direction.
Needless to say, her draculan countenance (if she could, I am sure she would add fangs....) does little to endear her to the toddlers in question, and they invariably go crying to their mothers.
I don’t think at this rate that Ricki is going to make a good “self-advocate”.

The Rainfall

(This was written last Thursday evening)
I am sitting at my desk, by the open window. A rain drizzle has started, and a few misty drops come inside, reaching my upturned face as I glance outside. Memories of rains past, fall thundershowers from my childhood surface.
When I was a grade-schooler, we lived in a house that had a large roofed porch in the front of the house. This enabled us to stand on the porch, relishing the smell of fresh air and rain, while remaining comfortably dry, even when there was a real downpour. And until today, I love the smell of the rain, and unless it is really cold, I will leave my windows open (but blinds shut) when the fall showers come, so I can relish the freshness of G-d’s bathing of the world.
Some people dislike the rain. I love it; it energizes me, unless I am cold. And here, each drop is so precious, so needed, even the slightest drizzle leaves me feeling blessed.

The Ducks -Straight out of the Camera

This picture was taken at Biersdtadt Lake, in Rocky Mountain National Park
See more SOOC (straight out of the camera HERE.

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Walking in the Drizzle

This morning, as I did a bit of aerobic walking in the drizzle, I couldn't help but think of this song:

However, in all seriousness, one DOES have to be careful if you are out walking quickly in the rain. Certain pavements can be very slippery, and someone who falls and breaks a leg won't get much exercise walking.....

The Teen and the Shoe Store Balloon

Wednesday I took Ricki to the shoe store to buy boots. And as soon as we finished, she looked at the balloon display (they give away balloons to young customers), and announced: “I want a balloon.”.
I promptly told her that walking out of this store with an inflated balloon in hand was not an option. She is a teen, and teens take home a prize like a pen (another prize the store offers), or settles for me to buy her a different prize elsewhere.
“But I want a balloon.”
At this point one of the saleswomen asked “What’s so bad about a balloon?” So I explained that it was a matter of knowing her self-worth and honoring her maturity. “What, will she also take a balloon home when she’s thirty?” I queried.
So then, when Ricki again said she wanted a balloon, a second mother there took up the challenge, and said: “You know, you are a big teenager. It isn’t fitting for you to go out with a balloon.”
AH-HA!
Now it was someone else, not Mommy saying that it was inappropriate. Ricki quickly acquiesced, and agreed to a prize bought elsewhere. We paid for the boots, I bought her some popcorn, and Ricki walked home, her honor intact.


For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Hate Crimes Against Those with Disabilities

Headlines today are that Obama signed into law an addition to the hate crimes law that makes this law also cover differences in sexual orientation. But to me, the big news is what the press is only barely noting: the new addition also includes those crimes done due to a person's mental or pysical disability.YEAH!

Friends, Real Friends

I owe a big thanks to Ricki’s friends from her former school. I was afraid that they would forget her as they went a different way from her, and to a different school, and I am still sure that this will eventually happen. The question being, how long will their connection last.
In the meantime, at least, they have maintained the connection, and the last week and a half was an excellent example. First, they organized and made for Ricki a big birthday party with most of the girls from her former class. All I had to do was let Ricki go.
* * *
This last Sunday, Ricki’s best friend from her former class had a family celebration (bar mitzvah), and had called the week before to invite us. I had told her that regretfully, I had a prior obligation, and could not come. (And Ricki would obviously not be traipsing around alone at 10 PM either....)
Then on sunday afternoon, TZ., another good friend from last year called to ask if Ricki was coming to the bar mitzvah. I explained why not, and TZ interrupted me: “Rickismom, I’ll take her, if that is OK with you.”
It was, and Ricki had a great time.

Real People. Real Friends!

Special Exposure: Ricki on the Trail with Granny

I have often paged through my pictures from the summer, but usually in a "preview" format, unless something caught my eye. I overlooked this one, an excellent picture of Ricki and my mom, hiking.