Suddenly yesterday evening Ricki turned to me and announced: “I want to be a Mommy.”
Suspecting that she was using the term “Mommy” for “grown up” or “independent”, I asked her WHAT she wants to do when she is a “Mommy”. Her list was long:
1) Cook for Shabbat
2) Cook soups, salads, borekas pastry
3) Clean house
4) Wear jewelry (“YOUR jewelry” is what she said)
5) Be the boss
6) Do laundry
7) Make gifts from crafts for her friends
8) Exercise class and swimming
9) Buy tape recorders
10) Visit her nieces and nephews
11) Make jewelry for her friends and nieces
12) behave properly
14) work in a store
15) have a bank account
So I decided that she needed to learn that there are SEVERAL options open for her future, each with their pluses, and each with their minuses. She can live here, (but that is a limited time choice), marry, live on her own, or live with girl friends. Each has benefits, and each has detriments. I pointed out to her, as I have before, that if she ever has children, the government would probably take them from her. I also pointed out that ALL of her list can be done even if she never gets married. I also made it clear that if she wants to do these things, and especially if she wants to live on her own or get married, she will need to learn a lot of skills.
At the end, she said “I want to be the Mom, and you the child.” (LOL, she wants POWER!!) I explained that I will always be her Mom, that she can visit me, and I her, but even if she will be living in an apartment with friends, when she will be an adult, she will be her own boss, not me.
And gee, that day is streaking towards us mighty fast…..
What an interesting concept of "mommy," be the boss.
I just happened to find your blog. I love this post and several of your other posts. After a short while I feel like I already know and love Ricki. I had an uncle with Down Syndrome and your blog makes me realize I miss him. I wish you the best.
this is off topic, but I saw it and thought you would appreciate it.
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