Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Dress Purchase

I went with Ricki a few days ago, to buy her a new dress for Shabbas (the Sabbath). I had finally woken up to the reality that by the time I will manage to sew her winter dress (which I had intended to sew, to save money), the winter will be almost over. I decided to buy her a new dress, and save the cloth for next autumn.
Now dress shops are Ricki’s favorite place to act childishly, to try and put on pretty dresses about ten sizes too small, and otherwise play the “let’s see how long it takes before Mom gets hauled away to the loony bin” game.
A while she was far from perfect, she was much better than normal. I just wish I knew why she seems to think that dress stores are a venue for torturing Mommies. I suspect that she realizes that I will put up with a lot, since I want to finish the purchases. I think that next time I get her any clothing, I will purposely schedule for myself two excursions, so I can easily make a point of leaving the stores if she starts acting out. And then I will have to pray that one botched excursion will be enough for the lesson to sink in.


Anonymous said...

I am the mother of a 13 year old girl who does not have down's syndrome. She also finds shopping the perfect venue for torturing me. Perhaps with Ricki it is not a DS thing but a teenage girl thing and normal...

rickismom said...

Well, I remember shopping with Rickis big sister, and I hear what you mean. But..... there still is a definate tendency for her to act out without restraint when shopping (has gotten much better over the last year, as I started really applying consequences, and not just saying "This is upseting me".) However, in clothing stores I suspect I have not been as good with following through (wanting, after all, to get the shopping done), and I quess she senses that.

I feel with Ricki that VERY firm guidlines and consequences are needed with her.

Your teen probably argues over ever purchase, rolls her eyes, etc. Such behavior I would expect. But Ricki insists on trying to try on clothing way too small, sitting on the floor (these two she DIDN'T do this time), refusing to try on clothing , throwing someone else's stuff on the floor if she wants their seat, getting into the stores office supplies... Stuff she KNOWS is forbidden, but seems to feel that she can get away with it.
Simply put, there can be no relaxing of consequences, even for my own convenience.

Terri said...

My oldest daughter used to tantrum in shoe stores to the point where my husband took her shoe shopping for years (and they NEVER fought over it....)Jenn likes grocery shopping that is very structured. or going to the mall with her sister, but all of the stop and start, put on and take off of clothes shopping kills her. I think she sees it as unstructured and chaotic so she behaves accordingly. I thought I would try writing up a schedule or a social story... haven't done it yet though!

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. Sarah does not especially like shopping unless I take her to a mall with a food court and time it so after shopping we can go eat at her favorite place. And then I use that the entire time she is trying things on. "sarah remember if you try these on nice we will end up at Chik-fil-a." That strategy has been working great the last few years and now she is sorta into shopping epespecially for special occasions.