Thursday, November 13, 2008


Are you plagued by TDTTKYUAN ? TDTTKYUAN- those darn things that keep you up at night- are of two types: those that apply before hitting the mattress, and those after your head is on the pillow.
Usually, but not always, the first breed of TDTTKYUAN is easier to deal with. Work schedules, school reports, preparing whatever for the morrow can usually be scheduled for easier hours if one has the foresight and the true will to do so. Sick kids are one kind of TDTTKYUAN that can be very trying, but often the other spouse can hit-pitch for you if one is reaching the point of utter exhaustion. My particular TDTTKYUAN is either reading (preventable), or preparing work for Ricki’s school day (which would be easier if teachers would let me know earlier their plans).
More insidious are those TDTTKYUAN that fall into the second category, the after-your-head-hits-the-pillow form. For younger moms, these are often caused by pregnancy-related issues: when will I give birth/will it hurt/what do I do with the toddler/etc. For Jewish moms, Pesach (Passover) cleaning is a frequent culprit (so today I did this, so tomorrow I will tackle XYZ, and when in the world will I get to scrubbing the fridge?). Decisions about schooling, medical matters, housing, can also be poured into this same soup.
The advantage of this type of TDTTKYUAN, is that it is often very easily dealt with. How? Try this 2-step way:
1. Promise yourself that tomorrow, in clear daylight, you will explore your options and try and come to a calculated decision.
2. Make a concerted effort to think about something else. (Here a discman with earphones and a nice soothing collection of music is a real boon.)
Another type of after-your-head-hits-the-pillow TDTTKYUAN are minor aches and pains. And it was one of these that plagued me last night. After dealing with the adaptation of Ricki’s geography material for today, I dove into bed, with only the bare minimum of sleep time left before the arrival of the new day. That’s when I noticed that my right arm hurt. Lately it has often been “protesting” when I reach up for things, but last night my elbow ached. Immediately my mind went into high gear: Is this the start of arthritis? Is this what I’ve always heard from older people about joints hurting in anticipation of the rain? And am I really “that” old????? After ten minutes, I turned to my other side (onto that arm), and bravo, the pain went. And I fell asleep. But I am left with the questions…….


Anonymous said...

Oh, today we're on the same wavelength. My nonverbal 4 year old woke up last night and wasn't going back to sleep. I quickly figured out that his "blankie" was missing, but I was too tired to tear apart the house to find it. After about half and hour I realized I had to find it so he and I would get some sleep. I finally found it in the bed of my ADHD 6 year old (who had taken it because he thought it was "cute"). After everyone was backasleep, I lay awake wondering if my 4 year old is getting all the speech therapy sessions he's supposed to be getting in school...I have to call the case workier right now, in fact.

My 8 year old with Asperger's syndrome slept throught everything, and the 3 older neurotypical girls probably don't even know anything every happened.

rickismom said...

"don't even know anything ever happened."

LOL I remeber when my first son was about 6 weeks old, one morning my husband got up in the morning and said, "Gee, YA slept through the night!", to which I retorted: "YOU slept through the night!"

A Living Nadneyda said...

Let me tell you, you're not alone....Those of us without the special-ed enhancements also get the TDTetc's, late at night when we have no sleep-time to spare. Aches and pains? Check. Little worries? Check. Bigger ones? Check. Stam annoying over-tired wakefulness? You bet.

And doesn't it just seem like many of these troublesome thoughts find their ways toward a solution during the 20 minutes after coming to a natural awake state - which only happens on Shabbat morning, when no alarm goes off. Makes me wonder what happens to all the other problem-solving minutes I'm missing throughout the week... ACK.

(And as much as I"m enjoying reading through your posts from the past couple of weeks, it is time for me to go to sleep!)