An Umbrella Tale

Ricki trudged up the stairs after a long day at school followed by her afternoon program. It had been a winy day, but no rain. As is usual, Ricki was hauling with her two schoolbags, and an extra nylon bag. Tucked under one arm was an umbrella, lavishly colored in bright hues, as if to chase away the dark gloom of a cold winter’s day.
The problem was that the umbrella was not ours.
Unfortunately, I am no Sherlock Holmes, and it was not readily apparent to me where the umbrella was from. I tried quizzing Ricki, but was simply treated to repeated declarations from my daughter that the appliance was her own. But, of course, it wasn’t, and I said so.
Compounding the situation was the fact that this umbrella could easily have come from any of three places:
-her school
-her afternoon program
-the neighbors (Who often leave wet umbrellas in the stairwell as they dry)
Repeated attempts at interrogating her led nowhere, and I was faced with the prospect of trying to track down the owner of an umbrella who may very well be a classmate or other special-needs child, and who may not have even been able to post a notice about the loss.
That afternoon, I had some errands to run along with Ricki, and when we reached the bottom of the stairs I noticed that she was again in possession of the pilfered object. So I had her go back inside and hang it on the stair rail, to await our return.
Later that evening, on arriving home, I noticed that the umbrella had disappeared. I pray that the umbrella was taken by it’s rightful owner, undoubtedly a neighbor. THEY are probably wondering how their rain gear fell one or two floors down, and happened to land exactly right-side up in place on the railing.

I Wish I Had a Picture

“Tzippe”, the sister of the bar-mitzvah celebrant, was dressed in the same dress as all her other sisters: a layered, three tiered grey skirt, and a jet-black top. She leaned back slightly, slidding one foot ever so slightly forward, and clicked the shutter. Quickly she glimpsed at the screen to study the result.
“Oh,it’s good...”, she commented, smiling quickly. She raised the camera for another shot.
A typical 14 year old girl. A typical 14 year old who happens to have Down syndrome. She doesn’t know me, so I explained that I am Ricki’s mother, the Ricki who is the “new girl” in her “group” at an afternoon program.
“You know, Tzippe, Ricki also like photography”
At that, Tzippy smiled. (And so did I!)

"Oh, it was nothing."

Yesterday I had a bit of free time, despite the fact that the "sukkah" holiday is starting tonight. Figuring that everyone else is too busy to think of flu vacines, I ran with Ricki to get our yearly vacine. (I was right; the health clinic was pretty empty.....We didn't have to wait at all.)
Ricki was nervous about the vacine, asking me every minute or so "Does it hurt?" (I think she was trying to fiqure out if she was haing blood drawn.) Once she saw me get my shot, she was a BIT calmer, but not 100%. She said a few times that she didn't want the injection.
So I pulled out the puppets,our pre-shot standby, and as she received the shot, she was distracted by the puppet story. (The nurse was very impressed with the idea.)
On our return home, Dad asked how it went. Ricki's reply, "Oh, it was nothing." I wish she would remember that NEXT time she needs a vacination.

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

The Lady From Act Two

I was on the bus with Ricki the other day, after running a few errands. While we were out, Ricki had begged me to buy her some sweets, and I had refused. She countered with her “But I’m STARVING!” wail, which I pretty much ignored. I simply mentioned that soon we would be at home, and she could jolly well wait until then, and have a healthy nutritious supper.

Act one (on the bus going home)
Ricki asked a lady on the bus sitting next to us, what she had bought, pointing to what was obviously a food article. The lady replied by offering some to Ricki, and I immediately intervened, saying that we don’t ask strangers for food nor receive gifts from strangers. The woman understood my position, cooperated with me, and all was fine.

Act Two
The lovely lady from act one reached her stop, and got off the bus. Her place was taken by a 6th or seventh grader, who was munching on some type of junk food. Ricki started eying it, and the girl’s mother told her daughter “You can offer her some.”
WHOA! My internal alarm was buzzing at high pitch.
- “Excuse me,” I stated firmly to Ricki, “you are not allowed to request gifts from strangers.”
- (mother) “She didn’t ask, she was offered.”
-me: “True, but she was going to ask. And anyway,” (talking here simultaneously to Ricki and the lady) “Ricki, you are NOT allowed to ACCEPT gifts from strangers.” I added to the lady, “What, she’ll go around getting gifts of food from strangers as an adult?!? This has to stop somewhere.”
-(lady) “But I want my daughter to learn good midos (character traits).”
-(me) “Well, madam, I also want my daughter to learn proper behavior. You can explain what went on here to your daughter at home, and she will comprehend it, but if I give in even one time, it’s finished by my daughter.”
-(lady, grumbling), “Well, I guess I can’t argue with you....”

But what pleased me most was that the other people on the bus, were obviously agreeing with me, shaking their heads in agreement. After all, THEY (unlike this lady), had seen act one as well. Hopefully the “act two” lady will have learned the proper script by next time....I know that everyone else on the back of that bus did.

Margarine, borekas, and “loshon hara” (Slander)

A few days ago, Ricki and I were studying the special foods eaten on Rosh HaShana (Jewish New Year), one of which is dates. To add a bit of fun (and life skills), I wanted to bake a “date spead” cookie bars with her.

That’s when I discovered that during my trip to Colorado, my baking supply of frozen margarine bars was used up, and NOT replenished.

Figuring that the grocery store was closed already, I sent Ricki to request from the neighbors 2 bars of margarine, to be returned the next day. Ricki went, and quickly returned with a bar, telling me which neighbor had lent it to us. So I informed her that we needed another margarine, and could she please try a different neighbor?
She left.... and I waited.... and waited....and eventually she came back, triumphantly bearing the margarine.
“Who did you borrow from?”
“Oh, I bought it (charged it) in the grocery.”
“What, they’re still open?”
“Yes.”

That’s when I noticed the crumbs on her face.
“Ricki, did you also buy borekas and eat them?”
“I don’t want to speak any Loshon Hara (slander)” was her reply. Now I know what they studied in school today, probably: Not to slander others.....

Special Exposure Wednesday- A Sassy Teen

So much for the “Oh, they’re SO Loving!” promise I got 14 years ago.
A teen is a teen. Even if they have Down syndrome.

Clothing Shopping—Improved!

On Sunday I went with Ricki to buy some vests for school, and again on Monday to look for some clothing for the upcoming holidays.
I am happy and proud to report that Ricki really behaved VERY well. Both times.
In one store we saw a mother with her older daughter (with Down syndrome), and Ricki apparently remembered her from camp a year ago. Ricki tried to start a conversation with the young lady, but she didn’t seem so interested. Her Mother, however, did talk a bit with Ricki. Then the mother commented to me. I saw you together with her on the bus a few years ago. What a difference in behavior!”

Yes, behavior limits and modification WORKS.
Yes, it takes planning.
Yes, it is work.
But its one of the most rewarding things I have done.

Oy, See What Anger does?

Anger caused me to loose a great picture to share with you. It could have been posted as a post-halloween picture... or in a psycodelic artwork museum. I could have posted it under “joke of the week”.
But no, yours truly lost her temper. And yelled. And went to rectify the damage. And gave stern warnings that said actions should not be repeated....

“WHY?”, you ask.
Oh. Yes.
Ricki got into my makeup.
My very limited supply.
And came showing me her purple eye-shadow neck and black mascara nose. And green-tinged cheeks.

I knew I shouldn’t have taken her to the make-up appointment I had on the day of the wedding last week.........