Thursday, July 22, 2010

A Hard Lesson, Hopefully Learned

Ricki (like many teens) doesn't particularly like to deal with her bra. She can put it on, but like full-button down blouses, she tends to lose patience with it, and tries to get away with not putting it on. I try to remember to check in the morning if she actually DID don one by running a finger down her back. Yesterday morning she protested, saying “You can’t touch me.” And she is right, so I didn’t. But I warned her that if she hadn’t put her bra on, she must do so. Incidentally, she went several times to her room in the ensuing half hour, changing blouses until she found one that she wanted to wear.
Fast forward two hours. We had gone downstairs, and where leaving to go to the supermarket. Suddenly I noticed that her blouse’s buttons were done up crookedly (wrong button to wrong buttonhole), and I indicated to Ricki that I wanted to fix them. She agreed, but as I was fixing them, I realized that she was braless.
To make a long story short, I sent Ricki home to put on a bra, and as I was running late, I went ahead without taking her. (I also went without her because I felt she needed to learn that when I say something, I MEAN it.)
So she didn’t listen, and she lost out. It was a hard lesson for her (she had really wanted to go). I hope it was a lesson learned.


Jan said...

I know you won't agree - but if you couldn't tell until you helped her button it - what's the point of annoying her by making her wear one? I have no developmental disability and went through the same thing with my mom running her finger over my back (actually, she used to snap the bra back to annoy me!). I finally started wearing sport bras, which are less irritating and to this day, in my 50's, that's what I wear every day. Maybe she could switch to those if it's so important to you that she wear one. No, they aren't all that supportive, but if someone really cares, they can see the outline of a bra on my back!

rickismom said...

She is big enough that she definately needs one. And IF I look, I can usually tell that she needs. The check with the finger is just to make sure.
Besides, in the very modest culture we have here in our religious community, her going without a bra would be a REAL bad signal.
I have tried sports bras, but she doesn't manage with them any better than a regular bra.
In the meantime this morning (Friday) she is going with a too-tight blouse and no bra. So she is DEFINATELY not leaving the confines of the house!