Sunday, March 29, 2009

Passover is Coming!

In many Orthodox Jewish households, women bemoan the onset of Pesach (Passover) cleaning, in the same tones I imagine Paul Revere using to announce the onset of British invasion.
Really ladies…. This is a pet peeve of mine.
Peasch is Pesach.
OK., it’s work. It is tiring. But…..

Lets not make Passover an annual tragedy. It isn’t.
Don’t teach your offspring to dread the holiday due to having a frazzled mom.

Tragedy is my email friend Eli losing her daughter last week.
And the same day, a friend lost her battle with cancer. Somehow, we her friends all found time to make it to the funeral.

It reminds me of an incident that happened years ago. A friend who had a baby with a disability was in a post-partum mother’s convalescence home and saw a woman crying horrifically because her son’s bris (circumcision) had been postponed at the last minute. She bitterly said, “I know that she has a right to cry, it is an upset for her, but does she REALIZE that it is a passing worry?”
We all cry at times about things that others feel are not that important. Even minor upsets can be stressful when they happen. I understand that.

But Passover comes every year. You know it is coming. So either start early, or, if you can’t, so do the minimum. You don’t have to scrub the entire place spotless. It’s nice, but not necessary, and you know it. Keep in mind that your kids having a happy mom is SO much more important than doing things that don’t have to be done.

Yea, I know that you are tired.
… there are people in the hospital this week
… there are people sitting shiva (mourning)
….there are people who don’t have money to buy food for Passover

So if you and everyone in your family is well, and you have the health to clean, and your husband helps you out a bit here and there…
Try and be a bit grateful and SHUT UP!


G6 said...

{insert standing ovation here}

Rachel said...

Well put. Here's a funny cleaning-for-pesach story to brighten up your day.

As a reply to my comment about loving the cool weather we've been having, an older women on my yishuv commented "it never fails, just when I get my windows nice and clean for pesach we get a sharav, and they get all dusty again." Uh, lady, I don't know what goes on at your house, but we tend to NOT eat off our windows!

Chag sameach!

Anonymous said...

Thank you. I was even thinking of skipping a family simcha today in order to clean, but there is not enough simcha in the world anyway. When keeping the Torah means all drudgery and no simcha, we have a problem.

Stash Empress said...

I thought you'd like to know that the "word verification" word I got for this was "sabah"..... guess blogger doesn't know its supposed to be "savta" LOL!

Right on post!

Malky (Shloimy's Mommy)

Belinda said...

Dear Ricki'smom,
It was so funny to read of you all experiencing the same stress for Passover as we do at Christmas. We allow ourselves to be robbed of what should be joyous celebrations by making them into something burdensome.

Tesyaa wrote about thinking of skipping a family simcha for cleaning. I don't know what a simcha is, but because it involves family, I can only applaud her decision to skip the cleaning and go for the simcha!

Anonymous said...

Simcha just means happiness, but is used to refer to a celebration (in this case an engagement party)

rickismom said...

A simcha is a family celebration, whether it be wedding or Br Mitzvah, or the like.
I also think that Western culture has made your holiday a big stress-- it wasn't like that when I was a kid!
But there is NO comparison between preparations for the two! For Passover, one has to clean your house so well that there is not a single crumb of leaven (bread, cookie, pretzel), and then cooking for the holiday has to be done on special dishes (which have to be taken out,probably cleaned, and arranged on shelves covered with paper)with the minimum of ingredients. IE, if you want something, you have to cook it from scratch!
And , even though it is a LOT of work, I am NOT complaining! At least G-d forces me to clean thoroughly ONCE a year!

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

it's been a really long time since I visited here, and I miss seeing your words of wisdom, I'll have to make more time to read. I actually remember you once posting about you having to cut back to follow less people, well I think I cut back too much, so I have to get back at it.

Any case, I've always had the same feeling, I couldn't get why women say they dread Pesach. Of course I'm not a mother yet, so I don't really have to do any cleaning. But what you said is very true, the children need a happy mother, and not all the "spring cleaning" is necessary!

Jessica said...

Well said. We need things to be put into perspective and I think you do it well.