Saturday, November 28, 2009

“I’ll Make Sure MY Riki is Not Like That.....”

How many times have I heard about a problem other parents have with older children (and young adults) with Down, and so self-confidently thought to myself “I won’t let Ricki fall into that rut. I’ll make sure to teach her in such a way that she won’t do this.”
I guess I thought I was so much smarter than these other parents, and that my access to good educational practices would ensure that I succeed where they didn’t.
Well, I was in for a rude surprise. Ricki sometimes dresses with her door open, and often sticks stubbornly to a wrong and stupid idea. Both of these are things that I once thought would NEVER happen in our home. I AM working on these things, but the realization that I can not wish away bad behavior, but it takes real hard work (and a good plan) is a difficult pill to swallow. Sometimes the realization that her mind just ISN’T working properly, and that her impaired ability to reason sensibly has consequences is a blow. At THAT time, one has to work on accepting and loving your child despite their limitations. (Although that does NOT mean abandoning your educational efforts of behavior plans, etc.)

3 comments:

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. I so understand exactly what you are saying. Sometimes acceptance and love are the only ways of coping and moving on to the next task or issue.

One really simple thing for me, although not behavior related, was elastic waist pants. I swore Sarah would never wear them. I just hated anytime I saw a young adult with Ds wearing them when she was little. But guess what. Sarah loves them and feels most comfortable wearing them for work and never has a problem in the restroom, so I happily now shop for them.

RivkA with a capital A said...

yeah. Parenting is just one lesson in humility after another....

GAMZu said...

Hi... I found a link to your blog from Imamother's "Special Needs" usergroup. Nice to "meet" you and stumble upon your blog! I'll be bookmarking it. :)