Sunday, April 12, 2009

Holidays and Blues…..

Holidays are happy times, and you are not supposed to feel blue on them, are you? But after three hectic days of Pesach (Passover), all the guests went home, and I was faced with all the normal “problems” of my everyday life, the house was a mess, and I was tired. In addition, I realized that, it being Pesach, either I would cook, or the family would go hungry. So I cleaned up and made lunch, and feeling good about that, settled down with a new book…. ( my big pleasure every holiday)!
Now I had not bought a novel this time, but a book of essays. And the author, was painting, in vibrant colors her life and her trials: trying to put a bit of holiness into her day-to-day existence, to grab a bit of the spirituality surrounding her, and pull it along with her to the regular weekday world. Now I can empathize with all these goals, they fit me as well!
What threw me was her descriptions. I won’t go into details, but her lovely verbal drawing of the lovely warm typical family life, her portrayal of her inter-personal relations was such a far cry from parts of my reality that it stung. So I started feeling a bit sorry for myself. I even wondered if the goals this author had could REALLY apply to me as well. Maybe I am too busy 'managing' to be even trying to improve in the spiritual, personal realm? I brooded for several moments, but luckily I was able to switch suddenly in my outlook.
“Rickismom”, I self- remonstrated, “what about all the things that you DO have? Did you ever pause to be grateful for that? And are there not women with much less than you, who struggle, nevertheless, to put some spiritual content into their lives? OK, so you have ‘X’ problem, as well as ‘Y’, but there are so many things that could be worse!”
I decided that challenges, whatever they are, do not exclude me from the battles with the evil inclination, from the battle to better myself as a person, and to improve myself as a “maamin” (believer in, and servant of G-d).

No comments: