On Eyeglasses and Hearing Aids (Special exposure Wednesday)

[image: Ricki coloring, without her glasses, and obviously having trouble seeing the page.]

A week and a half ago Ricki lost her eyeglasses again. This is already not “news”, as the new pair we ordered will be the third pair in a two-month period. When she was in school, she was apparently being influenced by a friend but now that Ricki is home on vacation, she readily wears her glasses. (We actually found the second pair after we had ordered the third. The third pair has now been stashed away in my closet for the next “incident”……)
But there’s even something better. I have been making a “campaign” for Ricki to wear her HEARING AID, each day that she wears them earns her the “ultimate” prize (“borekas” potato puff pastry). And the campaign is working; she has been wearing the aid every day, and is even apparently coming to realize that she has been missing out a lot by not wearing them. I am hoping that she becomes acclimated enough to them over vacation that she will REALLY want to wear them. It will take a real leap of courage to send her to school with them. I can not afford 3 sets of hearing aids the way I purchased eyeglasses…….
More of "special Exposure Wednesday" can be found HERE.

Hearing Aid…or Not?

The first year after Ricki received her hearing aid, she wore it most of the time. She didn’t always like it, but in general she used it. Last year she stopped wearing it, very insistently NOT wanting to wear it. Apparently the “screeches” it made whenever there was a loud noise disturbed her enough that she didn’t want to deal with it. Than two weeks ago, when she had a bad head cold, she suddenly decided one day to wear it, saying that she could not hear the computer. It could be that the promise of borekas pastry (my bribe to wear her hearing aid) helped in this regard, but previously it hadn’t, so that certainly was NOT the entire reason. After one or two days, she again stopped wearing the aid. It would seem that she knows VERY well when she can not hear, and will take action. I need to get her hearing retested; it could be that it has improved or changed somehow, and that the aid needs to be adjusted. (Why I didn’t do that a year ago, I don’t kinow…… and even now, it will probably get pushed off until after Passover…..)

Threats, Punishments, and Rewards

Life with Ricki is never dull, and I really have to be quick on the “draw” to keep up with her. It is amazing at how stupid she takes me to be. (For example, if she is hiding something behind her back, out of view, she generally assumes that I will not notice and react. In actuality, if she wouldn’t be hiding it, but would walk by casually, I would have less of a propriety to notice the offense.) In addition, she knows my weaknesses, and plays them to her advantage, unashamedly.
I have had a tendency, over the years, to threaten a lot and be slow on application of promised punishments. After this was pointed out to me by a play therapist I had hired one year to work with Ricki, I made efforts to improve. Nevertheless, Ricki knows that if she manages to do something behind my back, the consequences will often be less than if caught directly in the act. The simple reason for this is that by the time that the “crime” is discovered, she may be at school, and it is likely to slip my mind before her return. Or, perhaps, on her return she may be carrying an excellent report from her aide, and she is expecting her reward. Such a moment may be a difficult time to punish her for deeds long gone, with the possibility of confusing her entirely.
So immediately before going downstairs today, for her ride to school, I was putting Ricki’s hearing aid in. [She does not particularly like the hearing aid at school. Sometimes her classmates are a bit big on the volume, and the aid amplifies it to the shrieking level the rest of us have to deal with. Ricki has a much simpler solution than covering her ears: she simply yanks her hearing aid out!] Therefore, I promised Ricki that if she wore the aid the whole day (with the exception of the 10 am break), I would let her hear a new cassette tape today. Then as she was slipping out the door, I noticed the second (sugarless) candy she had slipped in her pocket, after I had told her explicitly that she could take one only. I protested, but she dashed out and down the stairs. (Her driver will be glad she went downstairs on time….) My threats of dire consequences floated after her rather ineffectively.
So I am writing on my schedule today to apply “consequences”. If she has a prize “coming to her” due to schoolwork, or wearing of the aid, I think I will try to POSTPONE it by an hour, as punishment for not listening to me this morning. But consequences there will be.

Good News!

We finally received the cost-of-repair- estimate from the hearing aid company. It is a whooping $250, but considering that a new one costs $2500, we are quite satisfied. Now, once it returns (which may still take a while), we have to get Ricki habituated to it again!

Rub-ADub- Dub….

Background information on hearing aids: (written in a previous post, July 24th)
This tiny piece of electronics costs about $3,000. And while Ricki CAN get by without it short term, she needs it long term: to hear better and more clearly in school, for language improvement, and to save my sanity (since without the aid she puts her tapes at TOP volume). [Try listening to some idiotic children’s tape at top volume ten times in a row, and see if you are not a candidate for the “funny farm”.] However, $3,000 is about a tenth of our yearly income. The original aid was paid in part by the health department, but I quickly checked and learned that they do not pay for replacements every year.

And so I offer a quick ditty
(and it “ain’t” pretty) (the cadence is all off….)

Rub-adub-dub
Rub-adub-dub,
Hearing aid in the wash-tub,
Placed in a pocket,
Oh, Vay!! Not-it!
Got scrubbed squeky-clean.
But it doesn’t squek,
Doesn’t squak,
It doesn’t amplify any talk…..
Just a bit of a whir….
(Oh how I will it to stir!)

I’ll place it in the sun
(Wishfully thinking)
But my hopes are rapidly sinking….

$3,000 down the drain
(That’s quite a strain.)
Wish I had a chance to sort
The laundry again.
* * * * *
Well, once previously I got a good drying out to resurrect the aid, but that was a ½ second dip in soup. This was a full cycle of washer/dryer. Hmmm. Wish me luck!

The “Club”

One day about a week or two ago, I was out with Ricki, and we stopped to look at some books. I decided to purchase on book, and asked the storekeeper for the price. He noticed Ricki’s hearing aid, and asked if she had a cochlear implant. I said “No, it’s a regular hearing aid.”, and he looked disappointed. It turns out that he had a child slated to get a cochlear implant in the near future.
One of the nice things about having a child with a disability is the “club”. Parents have a tendency to give each other that “knowing nod” when they pass in the street, along with a smile. A few words, a smile, exchanged while in line at the dentist or physiotherapist. Sometimes even a discount at a store. The best is the way they treat your child…..like a person. Today I have to send Ricki with her brother to pick up her new eyeglasses. I can confidently send them alone, not only because my son knows how to manage, but because the store owner himself has a young adult son with Down syndrome. He knows just how to get her to cooperate, and never treats her condescendingly.

The Hearing Aid: 8 days

I don’t know if any of you noticed in yesterday’s post, but Ricki’s hearing aid had been out of use for about 10 days. For a few days we had not been using it because the school aid complained that Ricki was taking it off a lot, and we were afraid it would get lost. So I also choose that she would not wear it during my vacation. Since she would be staying at several places throughout the day, the risk of it getting misplaced was just too great. So I carefully placed it by the telephone, in its case, sure that on my return, I would immediately make a star chart with prizes for wearing it regularly.
Then, Sunday morning, an hour before my trip, I noticed that it was missing.

My heart sank. This tiny piece of electronics costs about $3,000. And while she CAN get by without it short term, she needs it long term: to hear better and more clearly in school, for language improvement, and to save my sanity (since without the aid she puts her tapes at TOP volume). [Try listening to some idiotic children’s tape at top volume ten times in a row, and see if you are not a candidate for the “funny farm”.] However, $3,000 is about a tenth of our yearly income. The original aid was paid in part by the health department, but I quickly checked and learned that they do not pay for replacements every year. The good news was that unless Ricki tossed it out the window (not impossible, but improbable), it was somewhere in the house. Each phone call home during the conference started with my query: “Did you find the hearing aid?” Answers were negative.
On my arrival home, I unpacked, and the next day started the “Clean the house thoroughly and FIND that aide!” campaign. On Thursday I promised 100 shekel (about $30) to charity if I would find it. No luck. Friday I had no time to look. Then Sunday, I promised a double amount (pointing out to my husband that this was only 2% of the cost of a new one). But this time I said “Omar Rebbi Binyamin” ( a special prayer for finding lost objects), and I found it [“EUREKA!!!!!”] behind some books on one of my 50-some bookshelves.

The aid had been missing for a total of eight days. I was thinking about starting the process to get a new one, afraid that Ricki had chucked the old one out the window. (Once, about 6 years ago, when definitely old enough to know better, she had cast a piece of silver outside to the sidewalk below. I am sure the finder was amazed that someone had thrown it out….) We see that monetary loss can cause a lot of action and concern..The question is, as I even one tenth as worried about my weight? My health? My Midot (personality)? I wish I could answer positively…..

Eyes / Ears/ Pesach

Ears:
Ricki has had a bit of trouble getting used to her hearing aid after a week and a half lapse of use. However, this morning when she said “I can’t hear you…” for the seventh time, I suggested that she needed to have her hearing aid. She heartily agreed! GRIN
Eyes:
I have had pinkeye for the last several days. Yesterday it finally started getting better. I dread the possibility that my other eye has “caught” this and could flare up any time. Besides the discomfort, just the lack of ability to use the swollen eye is very disabling. The lack of depth perception that a second eye gives one was enough to impede any efforts on my part to carry on “as usual”. I just couldn’t zip around as quickly or energetically as I wanted to.
Pesach (Passover):
If I was behind in my Pesach cleaning before, now I REALLY am! I am not moaning, but laughing! I am looking at this as a happy challenge-race.
Meanwhile, I did clean and order our closed storage room. Amazing how much space there is in there, once the junk got taken off the floor….

Behind, as Usual/ Full-Price
Well, I’m only two days into Pesach cleaning, and am already behind schedule. It’s always like that. I tend to overcrowd the first several weeks of Pesach cleaning, in order to have more time at the end for the real important area, the kitchen and dining room. I feel that it is not very yomtivdik (holiday-wise) to enter Passover exhausted from the cleaning.

The missing part of Ricki’s hearing aid piece arrived. It cost me only 30 shekels (a bit under $10). The thing is, I happened to see the price that THEY were charged for the part: only 18 shekel. Which means that their mark-up is 2/3rds of what they were charged, or a full 40% of the total. I almost didn’t wish I knew……. I was happy with the price until I saw the amount of mark-up. But since they had to attach the part to the aid, I guess it’s OK. Twelve shekels (under $4) is more than fair for that.
I’m just wondering if the hearing aid itself (an expensive item) was ALSO a 2/3’s price mark-up. It’s true that they had to fiddle with the computer a bit to adjust the aid for her needs, but their service, in my eyes, is not worth $1000.

A (lack of) Sound Worth Two Thousand Bucks

I forgot to mention, but Ricki broke her hearing aid the other day, possibly on purpose. (It was squeaking in her ear, and before the aid could deal with it, Ricki did, in a rather unrestrained manner. But at least it was a small add-on type of plastic part and not expensive. However, we have to wait a few days until the replacement part arrives.
I was concerned about the delay, it making Ricki’s day in school perhaps less beneficial. However, as a result of not having the aid, she suddenly realized that it was hard for her to hear her favorite DVD. I don’t think she will break the aid again… For that alone, the delay was worth it. You’ve heard that a picture is worth a thousand words. Here a lack of sound could yield two thousand bucks. (I just wish they would hurry up. The loud volume she is turning the DVD up to is hurting MY ears.)

The FM

Yesterday morning, in the midst of my rush to get “something done”, I happened to notice that Ricki’s FM transmitter for her hearing aid was NOT in her school bag. I turned the bag inside out, searching for it, while trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. I didn’t want my husband to realize that the transmitter was possibly lost. Why worry him about it if not necessary? I called Ricki’s learning assistant at her home, hoping that she would locate it at the school. A half hour later she called back, as she suddenly remembered that it was in her purse.( Ricki had run out to her ride at the day’s end so quickly that the transmitter had been left behind.) I am glad that she called back right away, and didn’t just write in her daily end-of-the-day report that it had been located. As much as I would like not to be a “worrier”, the news made my morning a lot calmer.
This dependence on others to watch over our expensive possessions is part and parcel of having a special needs child. Unfortunately over the years, I have seen those staff members who were really not that concerned. Most do try, but surely not as much as the parent would. For literally, in this case “The buck stops here”.

the teen and the FM

Well, barely 2 days after getting a FM addition to Ricki's hearing aid, Ricki has managed to break it. The aid was a bit dislodged, and was squeaking in her ear. As she took it out, she tugged on the "boot" of the FM and broke it. At least this part is not the super-duper expensive piece, but I am sure is also not cheap.
When we purchased the FM, the speech therapist said that Ricki shouldn't handle it, and I was quiet, even though I knew that she WOULD. I mean, can you really expect a child with a squeak in her ear to go "tell Mommy"? A teenager?
Actually it was my fault that it broke. I should have TAUGHT her how to take off the aid without tugging on the boot. But then, I didn't realize how fragile that "boot" part was. You would think that for over $1500 they could have used a more durable plastic. I mean, it IS used by kids……