Saturday, November 24, 2012

Four Years, and the Journey

    Gee, it is hard to believe that tomorrow it will already be 4 years since my father's death. It seems not so long ago that we shared a summer together with Ricki in the Rockies. And now both of them are gone.

   Human relationships can be so complex. I KNEW my Dad loved us. Of that I had no doubt. Yet even so, I wanted his respect, his approval. I pushed myself to be perfect to gain an accolade from him. What I did not know at the time was that he, through no fault of his own, could not verbalize his approval. His experiences as a soldier in World War 2 had crippled his ability to do so.
  I discovered all this after his death. I was able to accept that, and move on. And that moving on, that escape from the urge to be perfect, helped me, and was an important part of my weight-loss journey. (Oh boy, do I wish that he could see me today!)
    [ I think that almost all people with a serious weight problem have some underlying emotional issues. Overeating is an addiction, and as such, it is giving some "benefit" to the over-eater. For weight loss to be achieved and maintained, the over-eater needs to find other, non-food alternatives to deal with life's ups and downs. They will need to discover and tackle the underlying emotional issues.]

   But what I remember of my Dad  today  is his quiet strength. His desire to stand up and stick out his neck for what is right, despite the costs. His love of the beauty of nature, whether it be the vistas of the Rockies, or an underwater cave at crystal river, Florida (where I SCUBA dived with him).
     I wonder if he and Ricki are having a good chat up there in heaven…….tonight I miss them both…..

No comments: