Tonight (Saturday night) I was inscribing in my calendar for the coming year all my grandchildren’s birthdays, as well as those of my children (which I remember anyway, but I write down just to be SURE). As I did, I noted that some of my kids are getting older than I thought. A few are nearing middle age. And even my youngest child above Ricki, “Y”, will be 20 this coming summer. 20!
Well, Ricki is no longer “sweet sixteen”, so I will have to dub her age as “sassy seventeen”. (Her Hebrew birthday was Friday.) But in actuality, her behavior has improved significantly over the past year. She is still very teenager-y, and yes, often sassy… but (slowly, slowly) she is improving. She pesters her nieces less when they come, and is nicer to them. She is better at letting them use her things. When I tell her that her nephew wants to feed himself and not be spoon fed (by her), she is able to forgo her pleasure at feeding him, and let him eat alone.
She’s slowly growing up, and I have to face the fact that in a few years she will probably be moving out. My time to be a SIGNIFICANT educator to her is limited. (By age 21 or 22 she will probably be living in a community apartment, as an independent adult, I will see her much less.)
I need to work more with her on life skills. And I need to spend more “fun” time with her, enjoying having her home while she still is.
Letting go is a process and a challenge.
Life skills are crucial but I know you will guide her along the way as usual.
Wow. Life is tough, with all its expected milestones. Every such corner we turn is full of mixed emotions!
On Tuesday I'm sending my 3 year old daughter to school for the first time. I don't normally send kids out so young, but she isn't eligible for home therapy after age 3. Besides, I know she will enjoy school very much.
But I am so torn! Don't know if I am more happy or sad or nervous.
I know that in no time at all she will be Ricki's age, and I have no idea what will take place... when she will move out, if she will be able to get married, if she'll ever live without help. Hatzlacha on anticipating the next step, and happy birthday to Ricki!
Isn't it up to you whether she stays at home or moves to a peer group setting?
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