Friends, Real Friends

I owe a big thanks to Ricki’s friends from her former school. I was afraid that they would forget her as they went a different way from her, and to a different school, and I am still sure that this will eventually happen. The question being, how long will their connection last.
In the meantime, at least, they have maintained the connection, and the last week and a half was an excellent example. First, they organized and made for Ricki a big birthday party with most of the girls from her former class. All I had to do was let Ricki go.
* * *
This last Sunday, Ricki’s best friend from her former class had a family celebration (bar mitzvah), and had called the week before to invite us. I had told her that regretfully, I had a prior obligation, and could not come. (And Ricki would obviously not be traipsing around alone at 10 PM either....)
Then on sunday afternoon, TZ., another good friend from last year called to ask if Ricki was coming to the bar mitzvah. I explained why not, and TZ interrupted me: “Rickismom, I’ll take her, if that is OK with you.”
It was, and Ricki had a great time.

Real People. Real Friends!

Special Exposure: Ricki on the Trail with Granny

I have often paged through my pictures from the summer, but usually in a "preview" format, unless something caught my eye. I overlooked this one, an excellent picture of Ricki and my mom, hiking.

The Non –Pacifist (A Post Just for Fun)

I wrote here once about how I used to be a pacifist. Well, anyone seeing me last week would never have believed it.
On morning I discovered to my horror, that my counter top was swarming with ants. The weather had been hot, and someone told me that the heat brings them out. So I annihilated the whole lot of critter crawlers. I went out not long after, and on my return, my husband mentioned a further advance wave of ants he saw exiting a hole by the faucet. (He had drowned them out....). As I entered the kitchen to investigate, I saw a whole advancing phalange of ants approaching the counter from the left. With that I unrolled the weapons of mass destruction (bug spray), and let them have it.
Followed by a thorough cleaning, an anti-ant liquid poured down cracks in the kitchen, I waged war with gusto. But I still couldn’t help wishing that they had stayed put in their wall, so I could have left them alone.
I think I’m hopelessly, absolutely, crazy!

That “Knowing Smile” – type Two

For years I’ve known that special smile: the smile shared by those traveling a similar journey. In my case this was always the smile a fellow parent of a child with Down syndrome would flash me when noticing Ricki next to me. Once as I was exiting the dental clinic of a hospital, I noticed a mother sitting with her older son with Down syndrome. I saw her glance at Ricki, and suddenly she looked up at me with a smile. I returned the grin, and went on my way. Not a word was spoken, but the connection , the fellowship, was there.
Suddenly, I have a second type of “knowing smile” in my life: that of fellow walkers. If I am out walking in the early AM, carrying only a bottle of water and a key, it takes no big brains on the part of a fellow pavement-hitting woman to figure out what I am doing in the local park at that hour. So, more often then not, she’ll slip me a smile as she wizzes past. And one morning I even met a friend of mine, who I had no idea was working on her health. BOKER TOV! (“Good morning!”)

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

The Birthday Gift

What I bought Ricki for her birthday says a lot about how I view the proper way to educate a child with intellectual impairment. And when I spoke to Ricki’s school officials about the trailing streamers incident

I mentioned my gift as an example of the attitude I want.
Many people feel that the best way to treat a special-needs child is to “make them happy”. I mean, that SOUNDS good, doesn’t it? I mean, we DO want our children to be happy.
But consider this. If you have a (“normal”) son who is failing math, and tomorrow he has a math test, do you let him go see a football game, or do you have him “hit the books”? Obviously, the second choice. Why? You want him to be happy, no? But you realize that, in the long run of his life, he needs that math to succeed and be happy. So you push him to tackle and learn the tools he needs to be a functional, successful adult.
So even though Ricki had mentioned that she would like a ball (the type little kids play with),I did not even consider buying her that. Instead I spent much more money and purchased for her a cleansing face wash, foot cream, a bowl to soak her feet in, a nice towel ,and a pumice stone. I wrapped it all up nicely, and she really enjoyed getting “a gift that suits high school girls”. Of course, that doesn’t mean that she can’t have fun. .....

TheLetter

Thursday afternoon I saw that Ricki was on the computer. She was typing away a paragraph (she had the text before her). Later I sneaked a look:
The text of the paragraph was typed well, with no mistakes.
Underneath she had added a different piece, a rambling collection of remarks praising herself, and commenting about her imaginary friend. Her she had some misspellings, but I WAS able to read it and understand.

The Little (well, not so little....) Engine That Could

Those of us who are trying to lose weight are likely to measure their journey towards a healthier life by daily or weekly weighing, steps counted, and/or body measurements. I would like to mention a fourth mode of noting progress: endurance.
I have several “walking paths” which I like, all pre-step counted. Most are arranged so that the more strenuous uphill parts are at the start, or middle, allowing me an easier downhill or flat stretch as I possibly become a bit tired. Two of them have a good long uphill stretch, the rest are more gradual. Up until this week, going up either of the uphill stretches meant pausing on the way up.
When I first started walking, these sections were definitely difficult for me. I had to pause two or three times to catch my breath. Gradually, the pauses became smaller and less frequent.
One day this past week, I did BOTH of these paths (merging the paths, which overlap). As I reached the top of the first hill, I was pleased to have made it up without a pause. Several minutes later I was halfway up the next one. It started getting a BIT difficult, so I looked at the pavement (rather than how far I had yet to go....), and chanted inside my brain (like the “little engine that could”) "I--think--I--can, I--think--I--can.".

Suddenly, more quickly than expected, I discovered that I was at the hill’s crest, and mentally marked up one more sign of progress.

The Wrong Number

As I picked up the receiver a mechanical voice emerged: “You have a collect call from ‘Bezek’ (phone company) client by the name of ‘_______’. Do you accept the charges?”. In the pause I heard a male voice, with a definitely Arab accent say what was probably “Achmad”.
Realizing that the fellow had made a mistake, I hung up, effectively refusing the charges, and turned to go back to my task at hand.
It took no more than three steps before an icy fear grasped my heart.

Twice I had read of women receiving phone calls from their husband’s terrorist kidnapers, informing them that their husbands were victims of kidnapping. In one case the husband survived, in the other the man was brutally murdered in cold blood.
The image of my son David, the soldier, flew to me, and the cold fear that he might be the next “Gilad Shalit” swept over me.
Then I suddenly brightened, and reaching for the phone, I dialed my son’s cellular phone. Within moments he answered, and after a casual “HI, how are you?”, I tried to invent a reason for calling at that (busy) time of day.
“Mom, what’s up?”, my perceptive fellow asked.
So I explained his paranoid mom’s fears, adding “You know, that’s just the way Moms are.....”
At least he is safe.
I wish Gilad Shalit was.

Sorry!

UPDATE: Will post, but a bit later.

Skipping today- was too tired yesterday evening to write, and not enough time today!
You might want to read a "golden Oldie" Post:
"A Good Week"

Special Exposure Wednesday: Golden Oldie

This is Ricki when she was almost 5 years old.

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

For more of "special exposure" go HERE

Teen with the Trailing Streamers

Today Ricki came home from school, after a school party, flamboyant red crepe paper streamers tied to her wrists, and a helium balloon as well. I understand that they wanted to girls to have fun. But WHY should she be allowed outside of the school doors (IF you have to give balloons to 15 and 17 year-olds at all....), decked out in a way suitable for a five-year old?
[When Ricki graduated from eighth grade a few months back, they also wore streamers at the song and dance production, but ALL the students took off the streamers before leaving the building. (Admittedly Ricki took hers off only due to verbal arm-twisting on my part....)]
I will have to speak to the teacher about this. We need to promote in Ricki and her classmates the attitude that they have the appearance, responsibilities, and maturity of their fellow teens. They are NOT little girls in a big body, but teens with an intellectual disability. There IS a difference.

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Suddenly, She’s Telling

For years, Ricki’s answers to “What happened in school today has been “I doknow...” (don’t know). But lately that has changed. The other day I sat down with her, with the class schedule in hand, asking her what went on today in “X” class. And she told me.... subject after subject. So the nexst day I tried again, and AGAIN she told me.
In addition, she has taken over responsibility to prepare her school bag each afternoon with the correct notebooks for the marrow.
The responsibility has been placed on her, and she picked it up, completely. PROGRESS!

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Balance

Well, my walking the last week has been nothing remarkable (in the 5000 range, and I try to be in the 7000 range at least), so I am going to have to try and make more time for walking. BUT I am not willing to do so (to reach 8500 instead of 7500) at the detriment to so many other things I want to do... so we'll see how it goes. Less computer time would do it, so I can start there I guess.
I think that as much as we love to mark up walking steps, the bottom line means finding a balance of correct eating and exercise that we can LIVE with for the REST OF OUR LIVES. I am not dieting; I am making a lifestyle change.

Fifteen

Fifteen is an important number, Jewishly. There are 15 Psalms of Ascent (120-134). Passover falls on the 15th of the Hebrew month of Nisan, and Sukkot on the fifteenth of Tishrey.
Fifteen is also Ricki’s age as of today; today is her birthday on the Hebrew calander.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICKI!
(My G-d, she is growing up FAST!!)

Traffic lights

Today I got out EARLY 5:45-6:45, mostly in order to beat the heat that comes with the sunlight. It was definitely pleasant, enough that I am (slightly) tempted to try and do it daily (at least while our current heat wave lasts). Here in our town there are no cars on Saturday day (except ambulances), and one doesn't even have to deal with traffic lights. So it was a real enjoyable walk.
A note on traffic lights. This summer, when I visited my Mom, I noted with humor her insistence that a certain traffic light always had her stopping. I pointed out that since she was coming from a side street to a main one, and the drive up was long, she would invariably see a red light at some time in her approach.
Well, the traffic light I usually need to use when walking a certain route, is also a side street crossing a major thoroughfare. It is green from my direction only about one fifth of the time. So, theoretically, it should be green one fifth of the times I arrive, NO?? Well, once it was, and twice I have “sprinted” and made it. That leaves about 40 times that it was red.... [Actually, I solve this by walking downhill on the main street, and turning back after a bit. I have the timing pretty well done, and haven’t missed the crossing this way. Thus I can cross at this light without stopping, and breaking my aerobic walk.]
What’s really funny about all this, though, is how easy it is to “determine” that someone is against us. So remember your traffic light next time you think your friend/neighbor/ family member has wronged you, and try and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Barbie’s Ankle Weights/ The Profit World is Made for “Normal” People

Being Convinced that I need to get some muscle- strengthening exercises into my weekly routine (not that I found TIME for it yet...), I trekked over to the nearest sports store to buy some accessories. I bought an rubber resistance-type band and a pair of one-half kilo ankle weights. As an afterthought, I decided to buy some dumbbells. I tried the one kilo pair, but decided that they were too light, and bought 2 two-kilo weights.
On my arrival home, I dumped all the items on the table, and decided that it would be real smart to wear the ankle weights a bit around the house in the evening. But when I tried to wear them, I discovered that they were WAY too small. (Maybe they would fit an anorexic. But not my ankles.) So they are in temporary storage, waiting for the day that I get thin enough to wear them.
The world is quickly becoming a place for only “normal” people. Manufacturers, caring only about profit, aim for the size that most people are. Most firms don’t even made XL size. Left-handed people are also often overlooked. If you are smaller, shorter, taller, or fatter, it’s just too bad. Buy (and pay) for larger shoes, custom made. Sew your clothing.
---And if you don’t have the money, or time, or know-how, that’s just too bad.

I saw on the news today that a 120 lb. model was fired for being “too fat”. Soon we’ll have to be anorexic, just to have the “privilege” of purchasing clothing.....

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Now You See Them, Now You Don’t

Ricki came home without her eyeglasses Tuesday afternoon. Now this was a real problem, as her spare pair was misplaced somewhere in Colorado in the summer, when visiting grandmother. After grilling Ricki for information, we discovered that because she was “tired”, she put her glasses in her school bag. The problem was that the small pocket of the school bag had an unfastened cover. The glasses fell out either in school, on the way to her ride, in the taxi home, or between the street and our house.
The search was on.....
-called the driver
-called the teacher
--checked downstairs

Today she came back from school, eyeglasses perched on her nose. They were found. Where? I don’t know, but what’s important is that they WERE found.

That’s $150 saved. (WEW!)

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Special Exposure Wednesday: The Real Trooper (Hiker)

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

The Diet Pottery

This week I did something I have always dreamed of. I joined a ceramics class. I remember vividly how much I enjoyed ceramics in art class as a child, and the fascination I have for pottery has never faded.
But I was always too busy.
Or it cost too much.

But I decided that if I am cutting the “fun” of overeating out of my life, I have to substitute something else “fun”.
I decided that for once I can do something for myself. I expect that within 4-5 years all of the children except for Ricki will be living elsewhere. NOW is the time to invest in avoiding the “empty nest” syndrome.

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

The Grocery Store Bandit

(this photo was done at photofunia)
Those of you familiar with this blog are probably already smiling at my title. And even though I am serious, I don’t blame you.
Sunday, being the day immediately after the week of holidays, Ricki still didn’t have school. So when she got up, I had already been to the grocery store. But she was in a “purchasing” mood. She wrote out a list, and told me that she wanted to go to the store.

Her list: (my comments in parenthesis)
-1 milk
-eggs
-one candy (guess for whom?)
-one small bottle of drink (again, she wanted this for herself)
-3 borekas (a salty pastry, calorie loaded)(THREE! Yikes! Again, she wanted this for herself)
-Soup nuts
-croutons

Well, I obviously vetoed this shopping spree.
The problem is, that she went out the door anyway.
I yelled a consequence as she was going down.
I phoned the store to ask them to refuse to ring the purchase up.

In the end, she ate borekas there, and received a very large consequence during the day.
She kept begging me to cancel the punishment, but I didn’t. Such Chutzpah I am NOT going to tolerate.....

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE