Today I saw a lovely video on facebook (see HERE), of an Israeli hula-hoop artist, Tal Fransky . She is
What got me riled up (enough to sit down at 10 AM to type this up) were the numerous people who felt it absolutely imperative to note in the comments that the performer was on the plus-size side.
Tell me, do these idiots really believe that the other viewers could not see this? Did they imagine for a moment that the performer herself is not aware that she is overweight?!??? And of course, what the (*&^%^$#& does her weight have to do with her wonderfully talented performance?
Do people who make comments like this REALLY think that by making these comments that they will increase the chances of ANYONE losing weight?
Shaming people does not lead to weight loss. NO ONE who has lost a considerable amount of weight has done so due to self-hate. Weight –loss comes when you love yourself enough to stop overeating. It comes when you can figure out what is causing you to over- eat (when you KNOW that it is not good for you, but you do it anyway…), and finding other ways to deal with those “triggers”.
I was extremely overweight for most of my life. I knew I was, I wanted to change, but it took me MANY long years to figure out HOW to do it! But all those years, my mother, while letting me know that my weight was not healthy, did NOT bring it up constantly. (Although I confess to giving my overweight kids a nudge every once in a blue moon, I bite my tongue 95% of the time.) And she would certainly not have done this publically, for example in a store while buying clothing. [Thanks, Mom!]
Just yesterday I saw a man who was our guest shaming his wife for her weight. I felt so terrible for the lady, and wondered if he really thought that this was the way to effect a change in her. (I finally told him point blank why he was doing things wrongly. But I doubt that it will help.)
And another point: As this video shows quite aptly, weight need not be an impediment to exercise. I weighed MUCH more than Ms. Fransky when I started my weight-loss journey. I started with walks of 20-30 minutes. From there I gradually built up to an hour or more daily. When hiking in the Rocky mountains, I took TONS of photos, using those moments to catch my breath, and hoping that my mother would not notice HOW out of breath I was! (On that first trip, nearly EVERYONE on the trail said “Good for you!” as they passed me. I felt a bit like a circus elephant clambering up the trail.) SO if you are overweight, try and find some exercise that you enjoy, whether it is walking, swimming, hula hooping, biking, dancing......because you will be healthier and feel better for it (even if you don’t lose a gram!).
And by the way, hula-hooping is great exercise. It is excellent to do when watching a movie, or inside on a broiling HOT or RAINY day. All you need is a few meters of open space, and an adult-sized hoop. (It should reach to about your waist). For example:
The girl in the movie is beautiful. Her talents are beyond impressive and her movements smooth and fluid. There is nothing incorrect about her body, what is incorrect is they way we think about the body, beauty and aesthetic. Our thinking is flawed. She is beautiful and voluptuous and the embodiment of "woman".
I agree with 90% of what you write:
"The girl in the movie is beautiful. Her talents are beyond impressive and her movements smooth and fluid."
"What is incorrect is they way we think about the body, beauty and aesthetic. Our thinking is flawed."
" She is beautiful and voluptuous and the embodiment of 'woman'."
However, despite that being true, overweight is killing us. And young people who carry a lot of weight should hopefully be aware (NOT THROUGH RUDE IRRELEVANT POSTS ON FILMS) that eventually it will catch up with them, and slowly they need to work out a plan to deal with the problem.... YET AT THE SAME TIME REALIZING THAT THEY ARE NO LESS VALUABLE AS PEOPLE FOR NOT HAVING WHAT OUR CRAZY SOCIETY MANDATES AS A 'PERFECT' BODY.
When I was overweight I knew that I would feel better if I lost weight. I knew that finding clothing would be easier. However, I "managed": I was married,had kids, and I was able to do all that I needed doing. I sewed my own clothing. When finally in my late 50s my knee pain became troublesome, I realized that I was not longer willing to pay the price for what overeating GAVE me. Finally after years of knowing that I needed to lose weight, I lost it. THEN I discovered that losing weight was not just "feeling better". It meant, in my case at least,feeling that I could FLY. I discovered just how much I had been limited by the excess poundage.
Overweight is killing us, and we need to deal with it. Not through shaming, but not through denial either.
For starters we need:
-Clear labeling of products, including trans fats, fructose corn syrup, and REALISTIC serving sizes.
-More incentives to exercise, like more (and SAFE) bike lanes, more affordable gyms
-A banning of snack (and smoking) advertisements, and outlawing of soda/snack machines in schools
- Banning use of models under a realistic BMI
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