Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Wedding Quiz

As mentioned in yesterday's blog, Ricki and I were at a wedding Sunday evening. What I didn't mention were the interesting conversations we had as we walked there and back. \going she asked me who the groom was. I replied that I really didn't know. After a moments hesitation she suggested that maybe the girl was marrying her father. I explained that she could hardly do that because girls don't marry their fathers, and her father was already married to her mother. (This mistake was obviously do to her confusion with the word husband vs. father. I doubt when saying the sentence that she actually had the girl's father in mind.) Then we got into a discussion about "wedding halls", what a hall needs to be like, and why.
On our return trip Ricki asked me if the new couple would be living somewhere else, what the bride's new last name would be, and more.
These are all topics that Ricki has discussed with me earlier, and which she covered in classes in school in the early grades. But it seems that she was a bit unsure about them. What pleases me TREMENDOUSLY is that, not being sure, she ASKED!


BJ said...

Hi rickismom,
I just received a notice where you had commented on another blog and that lead me to your blog. I am also a mother of a special needs daughter. Seanna, who is now 33 years old has Williams Syndrome. Reading your entries on your blog reminds me so much of Seanna's childhood and how we learned to raise a special needs child. The wedding reminds me so much of so many events, both family and public that we attended with Seanna. Our Seanna is somewhat attention seeking but more times than not others would seek her out because of her outgoing and fun-loving personality. She had high verbal skills which led people to believe that she was more intelligent than she actually was when she was younger.

Two years ago Seanna decided that since her best friend was living in a group home that she would like to live in one also. This was the most difficult decision that our family ever has had to make. Watching her older sister leave the 1st time for college was difficult. Taking my son, who is Seanna's twin brother to the Navy recruiter's office to leave for basic training was I thought at the time the hardest thing I would ever have to do. Neither one compared to the day that we drove Seanna to the group home with her suitcases, tv, stereo and stuffed animals. Even though the home is less than a mile from ours I felt like my heart was being ripped out.
Almost two years have past now and even though it is not like having her at home every day, we have survived and I have to admit that she was smarter than all of us. She is happier and feeling more adult with her friends close at hand. She has more opportunities to socialize and even more responsibilities than even I as her mom realized she was capable of.
rickismom, please keep writing. It is like coming home again.

rickismom said...

BJ, thanks for your lovely comment! I can imagine that bubbly personality. I also suspect that a group home is the best option for an adult with disability, and I am equally sure that it is wrenching for the parents. Rabbi Dessler says: "The one who GIVES, loves." The more you give to a person , especially in terms of your time, which is actually your life, the more you love them. No surprise that seeing her move out was difficult.