The Store Owner's Lie

[image: lady clothes shopping]

    I knew it wasn't true. And he was probably just trying to get a sale…

    I was out shopping for my last winter-wardrobe item, a nice skirt for the Sabbath.  I had even considered sewing myself one (years ago I had to sew EVERYTHING I wore…)… but noticing the prices in the stores I passed (in the cheaper Tel-Aviv area), I realized that I could possibly buy for about the same price as buying good cloth. True, the quality would not be as good, but I would be saving myself time.

   I entered a store that had some lovely skirts outside.

-"Do you have skirts in size 46?" (Note: Israeli sizing is different than American.)

-"46?!? But you are THIN! You need only a 44."  [Now he DID have larger sizes. It wasn't as if he was willing me into his largest size.]  It turned out that the size 44 skirts fit perfectly….

   OK, here's the rub: it could be that HIS skirts are marked smaller than true size, in order to give an ego push to the potential client. That's good marketing. (Although in another store I was a 42!)

 And the REAL rub: 44 is not "THIN". If I can barely fit into a few (and not all) one-size garments, I am not "thin".

   HOWEVER, there is a limit to how bad a lie can be. It needs to be half-believable… the store owner is not going to say I look like a twenty year old…

   And, quite frankly, I never even DREMPT, in my 61 years of life, that ANYONE, even a store owner drumming up business, would call me "thin"!!! NEVER!

(Me to myself:   "Thin?!? Really?!??? ... no... but on the way there!!!!"  ) 
PS: Even 95% of the way there!

The Weight-Loss Black Eye

    Now it would certainly be an acceptable query to ask "What in the world does weight loss have to do with black eyes?"  

So here is the answer:

   Saturday night I discovered to my horror that not only had the thingamajig that hold the toilet seat to the ceramic seat broken, but that when the seat had broken previously, I had neglected to buy (as I generally do) a replacement thingamajig ("pin"?) so as to have one available NEXT time as well. AND I was expecting a daughter in law for the holiday (sundown Sunday to sundown Monday)…..so buying a pin PRONTO was clearly mandatory.

  So although I knew I would not be able to purchase one nearby, hardware stores in our town being closed for the holidays, this was not really a problem. I wanted to get an hour walk in on Sunday, before the holiday, so I would make the half hour walk to the big shopping area just outside our town at a good aerobic clip, and back and forth would give me my hour of exercise. So I set out…..

   As I neared the store, I suddenly found myself face down against the sidewalk, having tripped over something, although I could not identify WHAT. Someone from a passing car (that stopped) answered my "I'm OK" with  a pointed observation that my face was bleeding. I had a gash, and they graciously gave me water to wash up with, and a tissue to use to apply pressure. I checked the wound in their side-view mirrors, and determined that I could survive without further treatment for an hour. So I completed my quick shopping spree (checking for bleeding every few minutes), and on the way home stopped in at a quick mini medical service ("TEREM"). They glued the gash together, but the doctor warned me that I would have a black eye as a result. And yes, by that evening I definitely had one, which grew over the next two days to this:

   So WHAT (you may still be wondering, does this have to do with weight loss? Because two weeks ago I ALSO fell, as well as a few days ago (although I managed to escape that second fall with no more than some bruising to my shoulder and knee). And every time I was wearing the SAME skirt. The same bit-too-loose skirt that needed repeated hitching up. So since I have NOT fallen while wearing other skirts, I am NOT running to a neurologist, but am finally chucking out the old skirt.

  So treat yourself to new clothes as you lose, rather than opting for a black eye (or two or more).

At a Bris...

I attended the circumcision of my newest grandson today...and lots of the women from my DIL's family literally didn't recognize me! Looking at the photos, I almost don't recognize myself! LOL!!!! I AM getting weight-loss wrinkles (I COULD blame them on my age, but I didn't have them two years ago. However, I would rather LOOK old than FEEL old!