So the first thing I did on Wednesday (the
first full day of non-shiva) was to take a long walk, to "stretch
my legs and clear my mind".
What was I thinking?!? Did I really
imagine that I could "clear my mind"?!? I thought about Ricki, and what
I want to tell her when we go to her grave in three weeks for the "shloshim"
(one-month anniversary of the death) for nearly all of the two-and-a-half hour
walk.[Not that I MIND thinking about Ricki…..]
Coming to terms with Ricki's Down syndromewas a process.. So will coming to terms with her death be a
process. And this process is going to take time……
5 comments:
No doubt there are bereaved parents support groups, where you'll find that your feelings and reactions are all normal.
The really important thing is to make sure you take care of your health, especially after being so sedentary.
I don't know that "coming to terms" is the right concept here. You will accept her loss, but you will never get used to it or get passed it as such. What you will do is find a way to move on, without moving away; you'll find a way to remember the joy beyond the loss. You will learn to smile at a memory without tears filling your eyes (as mine are now for you and for Ricki). One of the most amazing things about the Jewish process of mourning is that it is so controlled, so intense, and so healthy. Use it to guide you to where you are meant to go, knowing with each step, you take Ricki with you. Sending my love! Paula
Paula, wise words.....
Ruth, I've been wanting to write you privately (in case you don't recall, I lost a son a number of years ago) but the email addy from your last SFM post is no longer current.
Malky (Shloimy's mom from SFM)
I've been thinking about you. I got on the computer this evening just to see if you had posted.
I can't imagine what you are going through, but you remain in my prayers.
(I commented once but my computer had a hick up and I don't know if it posted. Forgive me if this is a duplicate.)
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