Thursday, August 26, 2010

Three Topics: The Conversation / The Picnic Lunch/ Update on "Frustrating"

A friend of mine who is blind comes regularly to my library of English books; she reads them using an electronic “reading machine”. Recently when she was here, Ricki came into the living room as we were talking. Ricki knows that my friend is blind; we have talked about it before. But this time Ricki started talking to my friend. She wanted to know why she wants to borrow books, and she answered my friend’s questions about when school starts again (next week, by the way).
This was a better conversation than Ricki has had with anyone for a while. Usually when people start to talk with her, she scowls and acts very rude. I suspect that the simple fact that my friend did NOT speak to her in a condescending tone, or give an opening statement of “Oh , she’s SO cute…” made all the difference.

PS Addition:
I mentioned that my friend is blind because I suspect that the reason Ricki responded well to her was not due to Ricki's perception of my friend as being disabled, but rather due to my friend's ability to treat Ricki as she wishes others would treat her: without condensation. Today another friend of mine was here for the library, and she also spoke to Ricki nicely, and got the same appropriate type of responses.


And a change of subject:
[image: a pigeon eating out the center of a loaf of bread.]

I saw this pigeon having a “picnic lunch” the other day in the park.





Update “Frustrating”:
Last night at the pool I found something that HAS changed for the better recently (since I increased my step count): my endurance. Only a month ago at the pool I did 25 laps, and even those were only about ¾ in crawl stroke. Since I was too winded to do the entire lap in crawl, I finished them all in a slow side stroke. The next week I did 30 laps, also about ¾ in crawl, in about an hour. Last week I did 30 laps in about 45 minutes. Last night I did 40 laps, ALL of them entirely in crawl, in an hour and 5 minutes. And one of the young thin women there (she was swimming in the same area as me, but about twice as fast) complimented me on my swim style and perseverance……
[Gee, isn’t it amazing how the compliment of someone you don’t even know can make you feel like a diamond?]

3 comments:

Batya said...

Your exercising is going well!

About Ricki and your friend, does Ricki understand that she's disabled/different? Could she feel a kinship with your blind friend?

rickismom said...

I don't think that it is Ricki's perception of my friend, but my friend's ability to treat Ricki as she wishes others would treat her: without condensation. Today another friend of mine was here for the library, and she also spoke to Ricki nicely, and got the same appropriate type of responses.

Ilana said...

I am surprised that so many people who know you and Ricki would speak to her condescendingly. I can understand Ricki's resentment of that kind of treatment. I know a teen with DS and I haven't seen people speak to her in a patronizing way. It is a shame that Ricki is exposed to that.