I woke up on Wednesday morning on “the wrong side of the bed”. I really don’t know why. I had gotten a pretty good night’s sleep and Tuesday evening I had taken “an evening off”, having decided that I needed some R&R, and that ALL the tons of things I need to “get to” could wait.
So by all rights, I should have woken up rested, refreshed, and “rarin’ to go”. But I somehow, wasn’t.
Than I saw Ricki scoot by me with a bottle of drink hidden behind her back. Understanding that the bottle was being hidden for I reason, I insisted on examining it, and discovered that she had pilfered soda drink (which I only allow on Shabbas (the Sabbath) from the newly-arrived supermarket delivery carton. I insisted that it be returned, and helped her prepare a low-calorie alternative. After that, we had a few other squabbles over her breaking certain rules, but I held my ground, and she, with sulky resentment, capitulated. I sent her down to meet her ride, waved at her from the window (getting a smile and wave in return), and went to drink my second cup of coffee.
As I drank, I tried to analyze my mood, its causes, and come up with a solution. I was concerned, as my gut impulse reaction was to nosh. Get that energy level up. Feel good… temporarily. But my mind was screaming at me: “NO! You are NOT going to do that, you KNOW you don’t want to walk that path.” My second choice would be to put on some music, but for religious reasons, that option is also out for another two weeks.
Maybe I’ll call a friend? And burden THEM with my bad mood???? No.
Go out walking!! That will get your mood up!
Probably. But soon, not yet.
In the end, I puttered a bit around the house. I mulled over a comment left on Monday’s post: “She'll always control your lives in a way her siblings don't and won't”. And I decided while maybe it has a grain of truth, in the end it is not true. Eventually she will be in a group home, in all probability. I will be concerned with her, always, but that is true of Ricki’s siblings as well. And in the meantime, yes, she is a handful, but as this morning showed, she can be held to limits if I use a firm hand.
Eventually, within the hour, my mood lifted. I have often found that just waiting a bit of time, and going on with life, can help grey moods. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, "Just Keep on Keeping On". So whether it's a diet, a problematic kid, or simply tons of stuff waiting to get done, Give it time. Take life as it comes, a day, and an hour, at a time.