Thursday, October 8, 2009

Personal Grooming: Time for a Plan

As I was writing yesterday's post, I realized that I was letting the issue of personal appearance side too much. No, I wouldn't let her go out looking poorly, but I was NOT taking steps to make it RICKI'S problem.
I learned years ago that a mother who wakes her teen-age son up every time he oversleeps, is asking for the task of dragging him out of bed daily. She has allowed him to make HIS getting up HER problem. If she lets him oversleep and miss something (assuming that she has already bought him a good load alarm clock), she is letting him realize that it is HIS problem, and he will probably start being more responsible.
So I decided yesterday that I need to stop being Ricki's reminder. I need to set up a system where-by she self-checks her appearance. Then, if I see that she didn't do something, I need to send her back to that list. So I plan to set one up, and start a "campaign" with a prize for cooperation. I hope it works!

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

6 comments:

amy Silverman said...

i love your plan! and your posts the past two days. thank you for your honesty.

Lucia said...

Good luck on your plan!

Stephanie said...

Amen!

Terri said...

We have a mirror hanging in a cupboard door with a check list. My daughter is to look at herself before leaving (but the list is not on view for the public.) It works well.

Staying Afloat said...

I like Terri's idea. I think I'll add a dry erase marker or pencil. "No spaghetti sauce on face- check" "Fly zipped-check" "Permission to leave the house-oops."

I'm really loving the idea of making the issue her issue. I really need to implement this with my other kids as well.

Dawn said...

My second son once went to Playschool in his pyjamas because he refused to get dressed in time and I needed him to go. It only ever happened once!

My oldest son once missed a High School exam because he didn't check the schedule properly. I called the school to plead on his behalf and the person I talked to quite rightly (as I realized afterwards) refused to do anything and said to make it his problem and that he would learn. She was very correct and he has learned to take responsibility for making sure he is where he needs to be and on time.

It is so hard when we want to protect and defend our children but we do need to let/force them to grow up.