New Schedule

Ricki's teacher called me yesterday, in order to let me know what the new schedule of studies is, and more importantly, what material they will be covering in each subject. All and all, it is a well-thought-out program, certainly one that I can live with. It seems that much of the year's success will depend on how many aides there are, and if the material in each class will be close to her level.

Ricki’s Nephew

My oldest son’s eldest son, Ricki’s nephew, is eight years old. As a baby, Moshe Leib was (under my darling daughter-in-law’s watchful gaze) Ricki’s first experience with babies. My daughter in law slowly and patiently taught Ricki how to hold babies, how to be careful, etc. He grew, and Ricki, a full six years his senior, played games with him as he learned colors, numbers, and reading.
About two years ago he started being puzzled by her occasional belligerent behavior, and sometimes childish reactions to various situations. He was beginning to realize that she was “different”. At that point I urged my daughter-in-law to explain to Moshe Leib about Ricki’s intellectual disability, and his obligation to respect her despite her deficiencies. Moshe Leib’s mother talked to him, and often in the past two years I have noticed an understanding glance cross his face as he dealt with her.
But this week Moshe Leib did the nicest thing. He took the time to write Ricki a letter congratulating her on entering high school, and wishing her success in her studies. He told his mom “I’ll call it ‘big girls’s high school’”, explaining that “she’ll like ‘big girls’ if I write that.”
He was correct, and she was also thrilled to get a letter. Moshe Leib himself profited from a return card from her.
Now isn’t that tremendous?

special Exposure Wednesday- in the Rockies and Doing it Yourself

Note that in this picture, my mom is waiting patiently while Ricki manages her bottle of drink herself. Now this does not mean that Ricki didn't request that WE give her a drink. She did, and we refused.
Ricki came home from "cooking" class with a cake yesterday.
"Who sifted the flour?
-"The teacher."
"Who added the ingredients?"
-"The teacher."
"Who stirred the batter?"
-"The teacher."

Now, it may be vital that for the first few lessons, that a teacher explain a technique. Or perhaps to give the girls some pre-holiday activity the school elected that they see a honey cake being made. But my mind flashes back to my visit to the school half a year ago, and my noticing then that in the cooking class, only the teacher had a rolling pin. Ricki is pretty good at following a well-written recipe. I hope that today's cake made by the teacher (IF Ricki is to be believed) is not a harbinger of things to come.....

PS

PS> The teacher today gave a nice list of what they did today... it helped clarify a bit some of what they will be studying.

WHAT Are You Studying?

Until this year, Ricki was in an inclusion setting. She also had a one-on-one aide, who consistently wrote me what was studied that day. And I had the textbooks. This was very informative for me, as Ricki’s answer to “What did you study today?” was invariably answered with a shrug of the shoulder and a mumbled “I donno....”.
Unfortunately, this is STILL her answer, but now that Ricki is in “special education” I don’t have the aide’s detailed description of class content. Nor any textbooks. Occasionally there is homework (from which I can infer studied material), but little more than that.
Yesterday I received in Ricki’s school diary a copy of the class schedule. It listed, among other things “first aid”, “business skills”, “science”, and “computers”. “Life skills” was notably absent from the list. I assume that “first aid” is about taking temperatures and treating everyday illnesses. I suspect “business skills” will be a work-shop type of activity (at age 14?!?). I wish I knew more. I will need to ask, but am waiting a bit, trying to be as diplomatic as possible. The math homework was WAY below her level, so in the homework area I wrote in a few examples closer to her level. (Hope the teacher NOTICES it!)
Patience is a virtue.
Patience is a virtue.
Patience is a virtue.

Lifestyle Changes... not Yet a Molehill

Wearing a pedometer and tracking my steps on walker tracker is changing my life. It used to be that if I needed an item from the local grocery, I would send a child to go buy it. Or, if that didn’t work out, I was likely to “do” without it. But not today. Today I am much more willing to schedule into my day errands outside the house, or to suddenly decide to “go and get it myself”. What seemed to be a terrible schlep ( the “mountain”) may not yet be a molehill, but my attitude that “I can do it, Why not?” is coming more and more to the fore. I am even GLAD for a chance to “stretch my legs”, and this morning when I was out walking, I even RAN to cross the street before the stoplight turned to red. PROGRESS!

A Belligerent Ricki and the Soya Patties

Ricki came home at three o’clock and asked me to type the access code to the computer. I refused, stating that computer use would be only in the evening, after various other activities. (First comes homework, some studying with me, some fun activities, and a bit of sport.)
Within five minutes a bored Ricki was heading to the refrigerator. “I’m STARVING...” said the teen, only two hours most after having lunch at school. She quickly grabbed TWO soya patties.
“Ricki, I don’t allow. If you are still hungry, take a fruit....” She refused to put the patties back, and frankly, I didn’t have the strength to take them from her. “Ricki, if you don’t put them back, there will be NO computer this evening.” I gave her the option of waiting until I counted to three, but it didn’t go.
All evening she was complaining about being bored. I didn’t open the computer. I hope she learns the lesson. Mommy means what she says.

Good Peer Pressure

Here in Israel, kids in school have a “mini meal” at about nine-thirty or ten AM. Traditionally, this is bread, which IF a child didn’t eat breakfast in the morning, makes sense.
For the last several years, Ricki has not eaten this meal, because she DOES eat breakfast at home, and anyway with her Concerta medication kicking in full force, she isn’t hungry.
Now she is in a new school, and is interested in having her 10 o’clock snack. The first day I packed her some a pear, but she returned it untouched. Wednesday, she asked to take cookies (I limited the amount), and she ate them. Since Ricki is rather overweight, I was not too pleased with this turn of affairs.
Then on Thursday, Ricki prepared for herself a cucumber and red pepper, and a few grapes. “I want to take like Ruti does.” (Ruti is her friend.) For once, hooray for peer pressure!

PS No, in the end she didn't eat it!

Excuses???

(Was written on Tuesday evening).
I wanted to go "walking" this evening, when Ricki had some free time, but didn't manage to. I was too busy. All (but ALL) of Ricki's new clothing need alterations, due to her excess weight. I have to buy for her width and then shorten skirts, and shorten the sleeves. (Shortening the sleeves on ONE blouse easily takes me 1 1/2 hours....)
And if I go out NOW at midnight, there is too big a chance she will stir, see that I am gone, and pop out of bed.....
So I'm left with the 7000+ steps I already logged today, and possibly the chance to go to bed at a half-way reasonable hour.....

Only Healthy Living

Yesterday my son-in-law's younger brother died. At age 26! APPARENTLY healthy until 14 days ago, he collapsed suddenly after three months of super-strict dieting. His death was compounded by swine flu, and the main cause of death was simply full systemic collapse.
I see so clearly that the best chance we have of sticking around in this world for a reasonable amount of time is simply HEALTHY living. Not dieting per se, but consistently exercising, eating correctly, and sleeping normally (I still am behind here, but am working on it....).
NO shortcuts. Just living healthy each and every day.
8 hours sleep.
Eating sensibly.
Not being a "computer 'potato'"
Walking and walking.
Laughing and smiling.

Loving our family as long as we are around....

Clothing Shopping—Improved!

On Sunday I went with Ricki to buy some vests for school, and again on Monday to look for some clothing for the upcoming holidays.
I am happy and proud to report that Ricki really behaved VERY well. Both times.
In one store we saw a mother with her older daughter (with Down syndrome), and Ricki apparently remembered her from camp a year ago. Ricki tried to start a conversation with the young lady, but she didn’t seem so interested. Her Mother, however, did talk a bit with Ricki. Then the mother commented to me. I saw you together with her on the bus a few years ago. What a difference in behavior!”

Yes, behavior limits and modification WORKS.
Yes, it takes planning.
Yes, it is work.
But its one of the most rewarding things I have done.

First day of School / an HONEST Chance

Yesterday was the first day of school. The driver didn't show up, but at least Ricki got up (and awake!) on time. She was very pleased, however to have an old friend (from her exercise club) in her class. I told this girl's mother(who also is going from inclusion to special ed), that we MUST give the teachers the benefit of the doubt. (After all, they ARE working a hard job for peanuts....). Let them get to know the girls and their abilities. Let us establish OURSELVES as normal moms, not professional fault finders. In another month or so, if we think anything is reaslly necessary to change, THAN we can broach it. But lets give the teachers an honest chance first.

"Nachum TaKum", or my Roly-poly Gal

Well, school starts today at 8:00AM. Ricki's bus comes at 7:25. So she has to get up at 6:30 at the Latest!
So last night I put her in bed at 10:30.
She got up for a drink.
She got up to read her imaginary friend "Gili" a story.
Then she decided that she needed a bath.

I tried yelling. Begging. Ignoring. Not talking. EVERYTHING.

She is still a bit on Colorasdo time. She hates to go to bed alone (we are working on that.... sleeping arrangements in Colorado threw us back a bit there; she had to sleep with me, there being no room elsewhere...). She is probably excited about school as well.

Don't ask me HOW she will function sanely today.....

School starts on Monday... in Caravans

We have received notice that Ricki is to start school.... her first year in a separte "special ed" program. All the talk about a new and better building has not yet come to fruition, though. They are studying in the same old "caravanim" (portable temporary classrooms), simply in a MORE distant location, more far from any "regular" students. I am trying not to jump to bad conclusions.

August 29th- Thank YOU

I first started with reader-counters a year ago.
Some 15,700 hits ago.
I am averaging something like 55 readers a day.

I am gratified, and thankful.

THANK YOU, DEAR READERS, FOR STICKING WITH ME!

For Special-Needs Parents: the Best Seat on the Plane

When I am flying on an international flight, with a 777, I always try and get the seats in the VERY last row. It has several advantages:
1. The other rows have three seats; this row has two. You can seat your child by the window, next to you, and with no one else in the row.
2. It is near the bathrooms, water, etc. And the service cart is almost never blocking your way.
3. There is about half a seat of extra space next to these two seats. This makes it easty for you to get up to stretch without bothering others.

The DISADVANTAGE is that you will be one of the last persons off the plane. Don't use if you have close connections.....

Odds and Ends on Walking and Dieting...and Coming Home

Well, I am finally home after three weeks in the US. I loved my stay; nevertheless it is good to be home.
It was great to get out last night and do some walking after spending two days in transit. I even didn't have the chance to walk as much as I had hoped in the airports, as one flight was delayed, so they had to ferry Ricki and I with a service car in Philidelphia in order to reach the next flight. (We were the last ones to board.)(Our luggage did NOT make that connection; we should finally get them today.)
I am also enjoying the luxury of having all my pots and pans and a full kosher kitchen (as opposed to the bare minimum I had in America). The wonderful taste of REAL vegetable soup ( a BIG pot full, which can contain several types of vegetables and herbs) as opposed to a packaged soup. The fun of chomping on lettuce (we use special kosher bug-free lettuce, which I didn't find in Colorado....), and the wealth of cheap fruit.
...Oh, and the lovely sea-level air, which one or two deep breathes will fill your lungs with enough oxygen that you are not panting for more. Suddenly I can walk QUICKLY, without pausing to catch my breath.
And luckily, I missed, it seems, the worst of August's heat. It is coolish at night (well, at least not hot), and I was able to do my aerobic walking without getting too overheated. I may even have to start walking more hills, as my regular "pretty flat" circuit is suddenly too easy.
What I will miss is my mother and brothers, the tremendously beautiful mountains (the pictures I post only give you an idea....).... and, oh yes, and the not-as -humid weather.
When I was in the US, my son noted that the best part of any trip is coming home. It certainly SHOULD be that way. That doesn't mean that we don't need vacation, nor that I didn't enjoy myself. But as Ecclesiasticies says, "there is a time....." (for both).

The Digital Picture Frame

My brothers and I purchased for my mother as a parting gift a digital picture frame. We knew in advance that we wanted to do this, so I prepared the SD card for it while I was still in Israel, and simply added while here more pictures. I maintain that this is one of the greatest gifts you can give a grandmother (and great-grandmother). This way she has pictures of all her offspring, in one compact space.
We set up the frame while she was out on the porch, and waited to see how long it would take her to notice it. (In all fairness, we have all stolen her desk for computer work, so its no coincidence that she didn't notice the frame right away.) After she found it, my mother, older brother, and I enjoyed watching the photos for a long time.
Family is special......

Calypso Cascades

Friday was our next-to-the-last chance to hike before our return home this week. We hiked up to "Calypso Cascades", a round trip hike of 3.6 miles (5.8 kilometers). This hike has a nice increase in altitude (about 800 feet, which is approx.240 meters). Here is a picture of the trail: However, this trail has an advantage that it is a gradual incline part of the way, and only the end is really steep. And all along that gradual incline are small waterfalls. So the scenery makes the effort definately worthwhile. Ricki took the hike fairly well (despite occaisional insistings that she was NOT going further), and even smiled for the camera on occaision. (Those pics will be for a later post.....but here's a video of the falls)(It's much more impressive in real life....)

The Missing Sunglasses

Friday morning my mother, Ricki, and I were all up early. We wanted to set out towards the calypso cascades trailhead early, as the parking area there is small. (If we would get there once the parking area is full, it would mewan parking much further away and adding that extra distance to the hike.)
Suddenly Ricki came into the kitchen with a pair of sunglasses, and I told her: "Those aren't yours. Put them back."
Fast forward seven hours. My brother's step-son pooks his head into the porch. "Have you seen my sunglasses?"

Uh-Oh.

A massive search of the house was started. Ricki usually tells me where she has put articles like this, but this time she was not cooperating, or so it seemed. I looked all through our studff, but couldn't find it.
Finally a half-hour later the glasses were found where all the sunglasses in my mom's house are stored. When I told Ricki to put the glasses back, she lazily handed them to my mom, who assumed that they were from her stash, so she put them away there.
While Ricki was lazy in giving them to my mother, I am hasppy that she hadn't stashed them away somewhere in her own belongings. Ultimately, she HAD returned them, much to my relief.