Embarresment

Embarresment is when someone sits next to you on the bus, and switches place as soon as another seat is available.
One day, not too far in the future, I will take up ONLY my space!
* * * *
I am very tired- will try and post more later.

Weaning

We are rearranging the rooms in the house. Since one of my older sons returned recently, there has not been enough room for all of the men. So Ricki is leaving her bigger room, which will go to the boys, while she gets a cozy little room to herself.
Last night was her first night sleeping in the new room... alone. And she didn’t even have me next to her on the computer (as she did have before). So every ten minutes or so she would pop out of bed to check who had come home, etc. I think that this move will be an excellent opportunity to wean me off some of my computer time, and Ricki of my nighttime presence next to her, on the keyboard. Question of the week is who will be weaned more quickly?

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

"You're Fat"

Ricki's niece,four years old, had argued with her. She suddenly turned to her and said: "You're fat".
I bent down and told her "Yes, Ricki is fat. But it isn't nice to say so."

Isn't it amazing TERRIBLE how young we learn to use to use society's negative labels as a lever to get our way?
The girl's parents didn't notice this, but I am hesitant to mention it. I think she heard me well, and I will drop the matter unless she does it again at their next visit.

Supper, Ricki-Style

Wednesday evening, As I was reading a novel (I was DEEP into it....), Ricki surprised me. She offered to make me supper. And it wasn’t in order to have supper herself. She wanted to make me an egg, and since she had already made herself an egg at breakfast, she wanted soya hot dogs for dinner.
And she did a REAL good job. She fried the egg, spread cheese on the bread, and even made a salad to go with it all. Than Ricki served me, and toped it off by offering me some diet cola. The only “not perfect” thing was the large amount of black pepper in the egg.
But what impressed me the most that NOT that she made the egg (including lighting the stove), but that she looked beyond her own needs, and thought to make ME supper. She did a kindness. This is not the belligerent Ricki I often face. This was something different. Several older moms (ie, mothers of older children with Down syndrome) have told me that as our teens get older, their “rough edges” (like any teen’s) smooth off a bit, and they start being more aware and thoughtful.
Could it be that my almost-fifteen year old is growing up?
For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Personal Grooming: Time for a Plan

As I was writing yesterday's post, I realized that I was letting the issue of personal appearance side too much. No, I wouldn't let her go out looking poorly, but I was NOT taking steps to make it RICKI'S problem.
I learned years ago that a mother who wakes her teen-age son up every time he oversleeps, is asking for the task of dragging him out of bed daily. She has allowed him to make HIS getting up HER problem. If she lets him oversleep and miss something (assuming that she has already bought him a good load alarm clock), she is letting him realize that it is HIS problem, and he will probably start being more responsible.
So I decided yesterday that I need to stop being Ricki's reminder. I need to set up a system where-by she self-checks her appearance. Then, if I see that she didn't do something, I need to send her back to that list. So I plan to set one up, and start a "campaign" with a prize for cooperation. I hope it works!

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

A Gut Fear (Sorry, NOT a PollyAnna Post)

Amy posted HERE about her seeing a person with mental illness/disabilities at an affair.
I would like to touch briefly on the subject of my reactions to older people with Down syndrome. I have posted about it before, but right now I don't have time to search for it (some day I have to make a list of good old posts, but don't hold your breath....), AND its been a long time since then.

When Ricki was young, and I saw people with Down syndrome who were older, and NOT so high functioning, I would cringe. I am not proud to admit it, but I found it very hard to be positive about someone who was drooling, and with their tongue hanging out. Yes, G-d loves them, I realized in my MIND, but in my gut I was repulsed. (SORRY, but I am not going to white-wash this.)In my gut was the fear: Will Ricki be like that some day?
I always told myself "Well, Ricki's getting a better education, I am working with her behavior", etc. But deep down inside the fear was present. And sometimes, today, it still is. When Ricki, in an ornery mood, doesn't wipe a runny nose until I give her an ultimatum, I wonder what will be when I am not around. There are some things about taking care in dress that she seems to not want to be bothered with, and which I need to remind her everyday. And this just increases my fears.
So today, when I see a less-than-perfect looking adult with DS I try to view with compassion, yet the gut fear is still there.... and a determination to prevent such a future. Because MOST people are NOT going to look past her outside appearance. (If it’s hard for me to, what can I expect of people who DON’T have a talented, lovely daughter with Down syndrome??????).... So how she looks will effect how people react to her: Thus in effect, it colors her whole future.

(More, tomarrow)

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Special Exposure Wednesday: Follow-up on Chipmunks

Last week,after posting a picture of Ricki wanting to photograph chipmunks, I had a request in the comments to post the picture that Ricki had taken. SHE never managed to film the chipmunk. (Actually, we are talking about ground squirrels. Chipmunks look almost the same, but are slightly smaller, and also have strips on their faces. But they are all “chipmunks” to Ricki.) But I did catch some with my camera, but the quality was poor due to a dirty lens....
Actually, I have posted earlier about Ricki and chipmunks, HERE (including an excellent close-up of a ground squirrel).
The pictures here are all from two and a half years ago, when my camera had a clean lens:

And what can we learn from the chipmunk? BE FAST and QUICK to grab opportunities, but beware of dangers!

Again to the Grocery Store

This morning I was sleeping in. I had been up late last night, and was determined that too little sleep should not prompt me to overeat (as I did a bit yesterday...). Ricki hovered over me, fully dressed, waiting for me to open my eyes.
“Mom? We need (black) pepper. I want to go to the grocery store.” With my grunt of approval, she read off the list (and a very thorough one, too, I might add....). She ended with “a sweet”. I acquiesced, and off she bounded. On the way she added a few other items for to the list (like several pudding-yogurts). She also bought for herself a drink....
I should have nailed her down on all of these things, but this morning I didn’t. I just announced that the yogurts are off-limits until Friday (the only day we usually buy them).
Its hard to be a disciplinarian when prone and under the covers......

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

"Magic Marker Monday"- Succah Decorations

Ricki made several decorations for the succah, but this is the one she likes the best:
(It says "WELCOME" in Hebrew) It is basically a simple color-in the felt plus adding stickers all around.


For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Day by Day, Step by Step- A Way of Life and a Motto

PRELUDE:
All in all, this was a harder-than-usual week for dieting.
First of all, Sunday night and Monday until night was Yom Kippur, a 25 hour fast from all food and drink. The tendency to overeat before/after a fast are very big (strong “survival mood” emotions and physiology weighing in here), plus going out walking was not feasible. (Anyone who wants to finish the fast feeling relatively good does NOT traipse around outdoors in the boiling sun. )
Secondly, Saturday was a holiday, which meant that I had a lot to do at home in the preceding days (little time for walking). And to top it off, I spent Friday cooking in the kitchen, and Saturday trying to convince myself that all the holiday food I had prepared was NOT for ME (or at least only a bit of it).
All in all, I did pretty good (although I’ll see later this week what the scales say...), overeating just a bit today. Starting tomorrow, I should have a fair number of guests, but I plan to get out and walk more and stick 100% to my eating plan.

MAIN POINT
But the main thing is that my habits ARE changing. I am drinking much more WATER (as opposed to coffee/diet drink). (Not to even mention the 150-calorie-a-glass chocolate milk I used to guzzle....). My idea of what constitutes a “portion” are shifting. I make a point to include more vegetables and fruit in my diet, and most importantly, I get out and about more.
[Over the last few days I had lots of steps from running errands, errands that once upon a time I would have avoided, or attended to by bus. This alone is an improvement. But I “hungered” to get out some real aerobic walking. After standing most of Friday in the kitchen, I was exhausted, and I went to bed early. But then, early Saturday I went out to walk. My feet hurt me a lot (a result of all that stationary standing on Friday), and I quickly realized that UNTIL I GOT OUT AND GOT MY BLOOD FLOWING, via a good quick pace, my feet wouldn’t feel better. It took about 15 minutes of walking until I really felt normal again, but it did help in the end.]
Weight Loss, or ANY change in our lives, is about DIRECTION. Even if we occasionally mess up a bit, don’t quite make all of all goals, if we are in general making progress and changes in the way we do things, than there is no room for despair over a little lapse. (Just don’t use this as an excuse to ALWAYS go below your goals...If you are slipping off your plan frequently, than THAT indiscretion is your direction, not what you had planned to do..) We have to go day-by-day and step-by-step. We need to see alterations in our general direction.
The same applies to other areas in our lives. Struggling with a new diagnosis of disability in the family? Trying not to look like the “Wicked Witch of the West” when you discipline your children? Whatever your struggles are, you are likely to falter here and there. And that’s OK, as long as it doesn’t become a habit. Each time you conquer the urge for a piece of cake or a scream at the kids, you are strengthening those emotional and psychological muscles that will help keep us on the correct path that we are choosing. So “go for it”, day after day, a step at a time.

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Happy Sukkah Holiday

We had a real last-minute rush to get our sukkah up and functional before the holiday. The plus side is that it is bigger and airier than in previous years.[This week is the week-long tabernacle-"booths" holiday. We eat in temporary dwellings (in this case on our roof, with permanent walls but a non-solid roof.]
Ricki had a great time on the holiday today, and spent most of the afternoon with her friends. Later, as daylight faded, she "hung out" with some younger girls from downstairs. But after a while, I noticed that one of the youngest was making fun of Ricki, so I called her upstairs. (I think Ricki realized that the girl was making fun of her, but she put up with it for the company. How sad...) As Ricki walked away from the group, the little girl's older sister reprimanded her, but I am wondering if that was for MY benefit.But most of the day she was with friends from her class last year, who really accept her, yet demand normative behavior as well....

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

"Oh, it was nothing."

Yesterday I had a bit of free time, despite the fact that the "sukkah" holiday is starting tonight. Figuring that everyone else is too busy to think of flu vacines, I ran with Ricki to get our yearly vacine. (I was right; the health clinic was pretty empty.....We didn't have to wait at all.)
Ricki was nervous about the vacine, asking me every minute or so "Does it hurt?" (I think she was trying to fiqure out if she was haing blood drawn.) Once she saw me get my shot, she was a BIT calmer, but not 100%. She said a few times that she didn't want the injection.
So I pulled out the puppets,our pre-shot standby, and as she received the shot, she was distracted by the puppet story. (The nurse was very impressed with the idea.)
On our return home, Dad asked how it went. Ricki's reply, "Oh, it was nothing." I wish she would remember that NEXT time she needs a vacination.

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

The Little Kid at the Door

It was a few days ago, in the days between Rosh HaShana (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). I had heard a soft knock at the door, and opening it, found a small boy, hand raised for another knock. He looked to be about age six or seven, and I didn’t recognize his as a neighbor’s child. What in the world did he want?
Then he stretched out his second hand, fist clenched around a booklet of fundraising receipts. “I’m collecting for _________.”
As I contemplated the youngster in front of me, my mind flew backwards in time to the days when my own children wanted to collect tzedukka (charity). They had been considerably older, yet I remember how a promised percentage had sent them off on a wild run after the golden egg (money). More than once I have found myself yelling on the phone to some teenager who in an effort to earn a larger percentage himself, had sent my son collecting money. My query “How can you dare to send a grade school child out collecting without their parent’s permission?” never got a better answer than a mumbled “I’m sorry; He said his parents don’t mind....”. Yeah, really.....I frown on the practice, it being dangerous, and teaching youngsters that collecting charity is a way to earn money is NOT what I want.
My attention returned to the child on my doorstep. “What’s your name?”
“_______” (last name)
-“Where do you live?”
And he gave me his address as well. Then I told him that if he wanted a contribution, he should send his older brother. And he disappeared.
Five minutes later I looked up the phone number and dialed the family in question. After waiting a while, Mom got called to the phone.
“Look,” I said, “You don’t know me. I live on ____street. Do you know that your little son is collecting tzedukka?”
- “Well, he’s with an older brother, I think.” (You “THINK” I wanted to yell, but I didn’t.)
- “Look, he was here at my door, with no one else in sight. ANYONE could have taken him into their house for a few moments, and his older brother, and you, would never know it!”
This gave her pause. She gulped, thanked me, and wished me a good year. At least I didn’t have to spell the danger out to her. THAT much she understood. It’s just that she had never really given the matter much thought, probably. (Or she didn’t know not to trust older siblings...)
People like to think that there is little sexual abuse in the chareidi (ultra-orthodox) world. Unfortunately, we have our rotten apples, just like any other community. We are not immune. But since we don’t talk about such things, and it never would be discussed in the newspaper here, people are blissfully ignorant.
And all of this has answered a question I have had for many years:
On Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), the holiest day of the Jewish year, observant Jews fast and confess their sins. There is a prayer phrase normally said quietly, which on this day is said out loud, because we are, our sages say, like angels (who say this phrase aloud). These angelic people stand in synagogue the whole morning, and as afternoon arrives, they start the afternoon prayer. In the middle, the holy ark is opened, the sefer Torah scroll is taken out, and placed on the podium to be read. And what is read? Inspiring psalms? How Moses fasted for forty days as he received the Torah from G-d? I would expect some sublime, lofty theme. But no. The reader intones the verses admonishing us against incest and other sexual sins. Things that no self-respecting Jew would do. I never understood why.
But I think I do now. G-d knows man, and on the holiest of days, he warns us: No one, no community is immune. Not even on the holiest day.

All of this prompted me to sit Ricki down and talk to her about “touch”. And am I glad I did, because from her reactions, I can see that it is as if I never discussed this with her. (And I have, more than once.) I repeated it, did a bit of roll play, and I plan to do a repeat often to see if (and when) the message sinks in.

A final note to those who are observing the Sukkot holiday, starting in two days. Be forewarned that the largest percentage of abusers (by far!) are not some stranger. Usually the abuser is someone the child knows. If you are sending a son to sleep in someone else’s sukkah booth (having no space in your own), or when you are visiting relatives or friends, be sure you know that things are safe. Don’t let a child go unaccompanied to a sukkah outside. Keep tabs on your child’s whereabouts. If two children playing in an other room get too quiet, go check it out. Speak to your child about abuse, and unwanted touch, TODAY.

For more of "31 for 21" (blogging in October for Down syndrome awareness)go HERE

Special Exposure Wendsday-What I planned and What You Got (and Why)

I had planned in advance that today I would post a picture of Ricki working on Sukkah decorations. An easy post; all I would have to do is take a picture on Tuesday of Ricki working on her decorations (she’s making several...), and upload the photo.. Simple, no? Well, it SHOULD have been!
However, when Ricki came home from school, I was napping, and when I awoke, there was a minor problem in the house, and it took a while before I really got to spend more than a moment with her. Within five minutes I realized that Ricki was belligerent, and then I remembered: I had forgotten to give Ricki her daily dose of Concerta this morning. This happens sometimes, and if I remember early enough, I will even walk over to the school to give her the dose. But if I remember too late, I am usually in for a rough day.
Sooooo---today she was really an obnoxious pest, EXCEPT when she was busy with something, she behaved a bit better. But otherwise, she was fiddling with all the objects I was working with, removing her hearing aid, and being outstandingly ill-tempered.
Under those conditions, working on her decorations was out. She would not do a nice job, and it would be a waste of the materials.
Therefore, I have no picture of Ricki from yesterday.
* * * *
What you ARE getting is a picture of Ricki excited over a chipmunk. The picture’s quality is a bit poor (the lens was dirty), but her enthusiasm at trying to photogragh a chipmunk/ ground squirrel, is clearly evident.

For more of "special-exposure Wednesday", go HERE!

Cooking for Holidays – Survival Techniques

[Note to non-Jewish readers: Some of what follows will apply to specific limitations that apply to preparation of foods on Jewish holidays (where the housewife often is using only one small flame, as she can’t turn it off once lit, until the holiday is over). So if something sounds “like French”, ignore it. MOST of this article applies to any occasion where you are planning on having several guest for a few meals.]

Cooking for the holidays, especially if they follow in rapid succession, one after the other (which actually, is not the case this year, for those living in Israel), can be daunting. Here are a few survival hints:

First Survival Tool: Planning
Taking the time to plan in advance can save you time later, when you really need it. You want to spend the last few days cooking, not trying to figure out what to cook, nor buying ingredients you forgot.
Sit down (this can be done weeks in advance) and plan what you are cooking for the holidays, what you need to buy, etc.
1) Plan what foods you want to serve for each meal, plus extras like cake, fresh fruit, tea concentrate, etc. Avoid too many fried foods at one meal (fried fish and fried chicken should NOT go together), and consider lighter side dishes (salads, boiled or steamed vegetables) with fried chicken or fish. Leave the heavier side dishes (if you want to make them at all....) for a meal where the main protein dish is baked or grilled.
Another thing to watch out for is repetitions: you don’t want to serve mashed potatoes as a side dish one meal (or one day)(or even possibly one week) after another. Try to serve different vegetables. Everyone knows that you can serve rice, potatoes, and kugels. Consider alternatives like sweet potatoes, pumpkin, and eggplant, or cold salads with noodles and/or corn.
2) One you have your menu chosen, check it for feasibility. For a holiday that does not fall on shabbas, are you expecting yourself to cook three dishes yom tov (the holiday) morning on the tiny-weenie fire you have burning? If so, either your meal will be VERY late, or you will have a very exhausting holiday. Consider cooking some of the things in advance, and reheating them on the holiday. Also check that you do not have too many new and intricate dishes planned to cook for any one holiday. Yes, you can exhaust yourself cooking ten different elaborate dishes.... or you can cook one or two elegant dishes, and keep the rest a bit more simpler. Sometimes a simple addition of nuts to a salad, a nice garnish with a rare fruit, etc, will give your dish the “special” look you want without working yourself to the bone.
3) Another good hint, if you have two days of yom tov (holiday) in a row: Consider two alternative menus for the last main meal. One is to be used if your food from previous meals were mostly consumed, and another if you have a lot of leftovers. For example, You might plan to have pot roast the second morning, but an option to make chicken salad served on lettuce, if you have a lot of leftovers. Leftover mashed potatoes can become fried latkes (add in some dill, too), which can be spruced up with a bit of applesauce or red pepper strips on the side. This way maybe you can save that beef for a different day, and not be left with tons of leftovers the next day, after everyone else has gone home.
4) Now that you REALLY have finalized your menu, go over it carefully, noting what ingredients you need. Look for “special” ingredients you may need to go somewhere specific to buy, or that you usually don’t have on hand, as well as the amount of staples like eggs, oil, margarine, flour , salt, sugar. You want to buy everything you need in advance so that you are not flourless when you want to start your bread dough at 6 AM, and not short of eggs in the middle of the holiday. Then, go over the list again for vegetables and fruit, noting which vegetables you need for which meals. This list helps you not only in buying, but also in cooking. (“Do I have enough red pepper to add some extra here? No- I see I need for the Chinese vegetables and the baked salmon....”.)
Here is a BRIEF example:


5) Last part of planning is to note on your calander/ list of things to do WHEN you plan to defrost/cook each item. Sometimes you can combine cooking, saving time:
An (abridged) example:


Second Survival Tool: Take Care of Mommy
1) Try to do in advance what you can, whether it is cooking cakes, picking up that medicine you need on the day before the holiday, laundry, polishing silver, etc. (Even writing your blog and post-dating it!)
2) Make a good healthy lunch (vegetable soup) for the day you are cooking. Don’t snack on cakes, nor starve yourself.
3) If you didn’t get enough sleep the night before, nap an hour on the cooking day. You will get more done in the end, having more strength and stamina
4) DRINK WATER
5) On you main cooking day (at least) wear comfortable clothing and good supportive shoes
6) Put a happy lively music tape on in the kitchen as you work
7) Sit down (or lie down) 5 minutes every hour with your legs up.
8) Take five minutes to set any small children up with something to do, like drawing holiday pictures (you can give them stickers to add on), etc. Happy busy kids won’t (hopefully) be pestering you nor fighting endlessly with their sibling. Maybe reward an older sibling to supervise. If you want to involve them in the cooking, it is advisable to do so on earlier, less pressured days. If you want on the high-pressured days, probably it is best to limit their help to one item, or have each child join you alone for his part of the cooking.

HAPPY PREPARATIONS!

The “Broken Record”- Solutions (and a surprise addition at the end.....)

I assume that nearly all of my readers are old enough to remember regular phonograph “records”. My Dad had an extensive collection of records, almost all of it classical music. I remember a series of records produced by a musical Heritage society, which were very good, including one of Renaissance Dances. We were forbidden to touch them, until we had learned carefully the correct way to put the needle on the turning disc. This was to avoid scratches on the grooves.
Of course, the most serious scratch was one which would cause the needle to move back to the previous groove, resulting in a phrase being repeated continuously, ad infinitum..... The resulting defect was like Chinese torture to the listener.
Ricki, bless her, has her own version of this “repeating” torture. Her disc may be fine, but how many times can one listen to the same tape/ movie without going slightly crazy? This is especially true when the tape is very childish. [I once remember a psychiatric patient in the hospital I trained at, who played a hard rock song “I want to get out of this place” continuously, driving the staff crazy. I volunteered to work with her, and became somewhat addicted to the song myself, for a while. It would be fascinating to figure out why some people can hear a song again and again, loving it, while others are disturbed by the constant repetitions.] I suspect that one of the reasons Ricki can hear her tape or CD time after time is because she dances as she listens, and the dancing changes from session to session.
If you have this problem with your special needs teen, or pre-teen, I suggest earphones. It works like a charm. Except that Ricki can’t dance when using earphones. I am even thinking of getting Ricki an MP3 player, and transferring her favorite music to that, so that she can listen and dance without the rest of us hearing.....
* * * * * *
Of course, sometimes I wonder how G-d can stand OUR broken record every Yom Kippur:
“I won’t get angry at the kids
I will talk nicely with the neighbor...
I will call my Mother-in-law more often....
I will keep my diet....” ETC ETC.
An easy fast (to my Jewish readers), and a profitable repentance as well. (To me too....)

SOOC Sat/Sun-

Here is my shot for "Straight out of the Camera" (see HERE for more):

This was taken at my mother's home in Estes Park. In the early morning, looking down at the foggy mist huddled over the town....

On the Chareidi World- Men “Learning” as opposed to “working”

Often I hear rather seething comments from the more modern (Jewish) blogs about the chareidim (ultra-orthodox)not working, being leeches, etc. I would like to weigh in here with several thoughts. I have given these points a lot of thought, as I have all different types of viewpoints among my children.
The problem with all men "learning" as opposed to working (although many DO work today) is probably one in transition. Originally an answer to the near-erasure of the Torah world in the holocaust, society pressure has pressured everyone to "Learn". Slowly, however, we are seeing more people working at least part time.

However, as a nation, we DO need good learners, real Torah scholars, to deal with Halacic (Toarah law) problems, and continue to enrich our national heritage. These top-notch scholars, who study hours longer than any normal job, and who are part of our national culture, should be supported by the community at large, just as we support academics in every field.And they should be supported enough that they are above the poverty line.

I personally would like to see:
-more good job opportunities for the chareidim and more APPROPRIATE educational settings to attain needed skills. (When the city hall here offers the SAME vocational courses year after year, I wonder if they think that our city really needs (and can sustain) that many photographers and reflexoligists.....

-Since there ARE men who will want to learn even though they are not the best, I would like to see the girls seminaries offer more types of training. We are overloaded with teachers, and it is simply not a way to support a family. Let women who want to support a husband Torah student earn a decent living. Why should she be forced for lack of better options, to choose a field with minimum pay? And if this means starting to study for Israeli matriculation exams, let us have a kosher program to do this.

Until we do this, I feel that we will simply lose more and more youth from our community, as youngsters who do not want to live in poverty opt out of the current system. And THAT is a shame, that does not have to be.

Addictions and Walking

In “12-step program” terminology, I would need to confess to being a chronic, compulsive overeater (who is currently not overeating, due to personal choice). However, like most addicts, I have substituted something different. Presently that is walking.
Walking is becoming a necessary part of my day. It is not something I HAVE to do. I WANT to walk. For starters, I feel better, both physically, and mentally, if I get out and stretch my legs. The blood pooled in my varicose veins starts moving, and I feel much more energized as a result of getting “out and about”. And, I swear, the other day as I went downstairs, and stepped briskly out towards the sidewalk, I felt a rush of adrenalin, endomorphins, or something. It felt good. Really good. (I’m glad it’s HEALTHY!)

The Lady From Act Two

I was on the bus with Ricki the other day, after running a few errands. While we were out, Ricki had begged me to buy her some sweets, and I had refused. She countered with her “But I’m STARVING!” wail, which I pretty much ignored. I simply mentioned that soon we would be at home, and she could jolly well wait until then, and have a healthy nutritious supper.

Act one (on the bus going home)
Ricki asked a lady on the bus sitting next to us, what she had bought, pointing to what was obviously a food article. The lady replied by offering some to Ricki, and I immediately intervened, saying that we don’t ask strangers for food nor receive gifts from strangers. The woman understood my position, cooperated with me, and all was fine.

Act Two
The lovely lady from act one reached her stop, and got off the bus. Her place was taken by a 6th or seventh grader, who was munching on some type of junk food. Ricki started eying it, and the girl’s mother told her daughter “You can offer her some.”
WHOA! My internal alarm was buzzing at high pitch.
- “Excuse me,” I stated firmly to Ricki, “you are not allowed to request gifts from strangers.”
- (mother) “She didn’t ask, she was offered.”
-me: “True, but she was going to ask. And anyway,” (talking here simultaneously to Ricki and the lady) “Ricki, you are NOT allowed to ACCEPT gifts from strangers.” I added to the lady, “What, she’ll go around getting gifts of food from strangers as an adult?!? This has to stop somewhere.”
-(lady) “But I want my daughter to learn good midos (character traits).”
-(me) “Well, madam, I also want my daughter to learn proper behavior. You can explain what went on here to your daughter at home, and she will comprehend it, but if I give in even one time, it’s finished by my daughter.”
-(lady, grumbling), “Well, I guess I can’t argue with you....”

But what pleased me most was that the other people on the bus, were obviously agreeing with me, shaking their heads in agreement. After all, THEY (unlike this lady), had seen act one as well. Hopefully the “act two” lady will have learned the proper script by next time....I know that everyone else on the back of that bus did.