TDTTKYUAN

Are you plagued by TDTTKYUAN ? TDTTKYUAN- those darn things that keep you up at night- are of two types: those that apply before hitting the mattress, and those after your head is on the pillow.
Usually, but not always, the first breed of TDTTKYUAN is easier to deal with. Work schedules, school reports, preparing whatever for the morrow can usually be scheduled for easier hours if one has the foresight and the true will to do so. Sick kids are one kind of TDTTKYUAN that can be very trying, but often the other spouse can hit-pitch for you if one is reaching the point of utter exhaustion. My particular TDTTKYUAN is either reading (preventable), or preparing work for Ricki’s school day (which would be easier if teachers would let me know earlier their plans).
More insidious are those TDTTKYUAN that fall into the second category, the after-your-head-hits-the-pillow form. For younger moms, these are often caused by pregnancy-related issues: when will I give birth/will it hurt/what do I do with the toddler/etc. For Jewish moms, Pesach (Passover) cleaning is a frequent culprit (so today I did this, so tomorrow I will tackle XYZ, and when in the world will I get to scrubbing the fridge?). Decisions about schooling, medical matters, housing, can also be poured into this same soup.
The advantage of this type of TDTTKYUAN, is that it is often very easily dealt with. How? Try this 2-step way:
1. Promise yourself that tomorrow, in clear daylight, you will explore your options and try and come to a calculated decision.
2. Make a concerted effort to think about something else. (Here a discman with earphones and a nice soothing collection of music is a real boon.)
Another type of after-your-head-hits-the-pillow TDTTKYUAN are minor aches and pains. And it was one of these that plagued me last night. After dealing with the adaptation of Ricki’s geography material for today, I dove into bed, with only the bare minimum of sleep time left before the arrival of the new day. That’s when I noticed that my right arm hurt. Lately it has often been “protesting” when I reach up for things, but last night my elbow ached. Immediately my mind went into high gear: Is this the start of arthritis? Is this what I’ve always heard from older people about joints hurting in anticipation of the rain? And am I really “that” old????? After ten minutes, I turned to my other side (onto that arm), and bravo, the pain went. And I fell asleep. But I am left with the questions…….

Color Me Bleary-Eyed

One of the occupational hazards of not getting enough sleep during the week is that you oversleep on Shabbas (Saturday), and then on Saturday night it is SO easy to stay up terribly late. I confess to being a chronic offender.
So this morning (it’s still vacation here) I was less than thrilled when my neighbor’s phone rang… and rang… and rang…. For four long stretches between 7:00 am to 7:20. But I was tired enough to fall asleep again until 8:15, which is about the time I had planned to get up. Ricki, notably, is very good about not waking me if she sees that I am asleep.

Sleeps in Your Bed?

Today I happened to see on an internet site (concerned with DS), posting by several mothers who let their young, and not-so-young children with DS sleep with them at night. In general I do not think that this is a good idea, and here is why:
I have a friend who started like so many of these moms with their kids in her bed, and now at 20+ her daughter is still there! It got a "bit" crowded in the meantime, but if you think that little kids with DS can be stubborn, wait till you have a teen! At the age you would kick any "normal" child out of the bed, the kid with DS should go too.
Besides the inconvenience that an older child can pose if you are married , I suspect that at a certain point it is good for the child's normal perception of "self" to see themselves as grownup enough to sleep on their own. Also they should know that they are not going to take Daddy’s place, whether Daddy works at night or not.

Tools to help the child move:
-relaxing music in the room
-give them a flashlight (t6hey have control over it) to chase all the monsters away with....

Experiencing It…(or) The Joy of Sleep

I had noticed that my son was spending way too much time on the computer. The problem is, his yeshiva also did…….he was obviously sleepy in class. So I have embargoed computer for him for a while. Then I decided that fair is fair, and that I am also spending way too much time on the computer on non-critical things. And, even worse, it is taking time away from more important pursuits…. Including a decent night’s sleep.
So yesterday and today I spent much less time on the machine. The result? Enough sleep. I felt entirely different. Suddenly, keeping my diet was not a lost battle. I had time for many activities. And did I miss the interesting news videos? Not really.
I had read often lately how sleep deprivation causes people to gain weight. I understood that sleeping would help me feel better. Today I experienced it.

The Cold

All winter, it seems, I have been taking antihistamines, but this morning and yesterday I felt I didn’t need. Then, with a bang, I got the worse cold of the winter. I am beginning to suspect that I may have inherited my Dad’s hay fever… (DRAT!)
Isn’t it amazing that I have taken a three-day break in Pesach cleaning, and felt great, but now that I was all set for a full morning’s worth of cleaning tomorrow, I feel rotten as can be?

I am beginning to suspect that I am coming down with Pesach-itus…

(Actually, it probably has much more to do with the late hour I went to sleep last night…..)

Sleep and Flashlight

As I have mentioned previously, Ricki has been afraid to go to sleep at night, unless I am on the computer in the room. (It is interesting to note that on Friday evening, when I never use the computer, she has no problems.) In order to get some control of the situation, I decided to let her have a flashlight to use at bedtime. I had been told by people with experience, that the feeling of control that the flashlight gives the child (since he can choose to light it or not) helps them overcome their fear.
Well, we tried it, and it has worked pretty well! Actually very well. She was asleep in minutes!
Now I have to close this computer to get ME to sleep!

Teens and Sleep (Hibernation)

What is it about a teenager that induces an at-least once weekly (if not daily) hibernation? Take a day off from school/ work. An adult will get up probably at the same time (his internal clock won’t let him sleep), or at the most an hour later. However, a teen with a day off, will undoubtedly “sleep in”. (Unless he has a trip planned, in which case he’ll get up before dawn.)
Is this sleep an “escape”? Is the world so much harder for him to face? Is it the lack of having an urgent list of “things that need to be done”? Is it perhaps the lack of knowledge that the adult feels:” A pity to waste time, it is limited”?
I do know, however, that if you want a teen to awaken on time for obligations, like school, the best method is to give the responsibility to them. Give them a LOUD alarm clock, and let them face the consequences of not waking up on time. It’s the only way that consistently works. And it saves you from having to nag.

Large sizes store/ Enough sleep

Its been cold down here, and I’ve been walking around with 2-3 sweaters on. Luckily I HAVE some, having gone with my daughter three weeks ago to buy something in the “large sizes” store. (We had to travel by car about a half hour to get there.) It was nice, for a change, to have a CHOICE of items to purchase. In our town, I am usually forced to get whatever is in my size, even if I don’t really like it, simply because nothing else fits.
Today I was really overeating—mostly from simply being tired. So why am I awake at midnight? My evil inclination, of course! Somehow there is always something to read or enjoy once the kids are asleep, even if I know that I need the sleep more….So enough for now; Good night!