Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Fancy Purse Shop



    I used to hate clothes shopping. Purchasing articles other than clothing is usually fun. But there are exceptions.....
      One of the times I also felt really out of place would be when I went to more "high-end" stores. These stores get a lot of browsers, who make quick exits once they hear the price. And in reality, I usually avoid these stores because of their high costs. However, I DO have good taste (read "expensive"), and sometimes the extra cost is worth it. So I have entered such stores more than once.
   And here is what happened, as often as not. I would be rather shunned by the store owners, as if my overweight was a limit on my purchasing ability….
   However, as I have lost weight, and dressed nicer, I have noticed subtle changes in staff attitudes.
   But yesterday I came to realize that it involves more than the sellers judging me by my weight. Because yesterday, I went into a higher-end store, looking for a specific object. But I came there after going to Ricki's grave, and I was carting around with me an un-fancy bag, made of cloth, to hold the heavy containers of mosaic tiles which I used to "draw her a picture". I didn't look like I had the money. So the clerks sort of ignored me. But even so, the vibes I was receiving were not as bad as the ones I received as a fat lady…… 

10 comments:

Cindy said...

It's sad when our society looks at and judges people by the outside. I'm thankful our Lord always, always looks at the heart.

Batya said...

Some of it may just be your perception. Being slim gives you a different confidence.

Rickismom said...

True, Batia. But there were enough times that it was pretty apparent....

Belinda said...

Sorry for being a day late to comment on Ricki's birthday. She is in my thoughts and so are you. May her memory always remain bright.

perlsand said...

Wow-I was unable to access your blog for a couple of weeks and I see that I missed so much. The birthday has also always been a problem for me. We can't ignore it, obviously, because it's there.In the first years following my daughter Nava's death, I would take balloons to her grave-I knew they wouldn't last even 2 minutes after I left but it didn't matter-I brought it to her.After she got to the age(in my mind) where I thought balloons weren't appropriate anymore, I started bringing a flower-putting it in an old plastic bottle with water.I never asked if this is proper halachically because it's something I need to do-I do it from my heart.I can't say that some birthdays aren't still sad-thinking what could have been, had Nava lived,but this gives me the feeling that I'm doing something positive.My thoughts are with you,even though I missed the actual birthday.
As far as the id card is concerned.How sad that the misrad hapnim continues to be so narrow-minded.I was interviewed for an article in the J Post about 20 years ago and told my similar story.Only, I gave birth 6 months after losing Nava and when the id card came back in the mail, my son was added but my second child had been omitted-erased, as if she never existed. I can really understand you because I still feel the pain of that day-22+ years later. At the time, I complained-even to an MK- but got nowhere. How sad that it hasn't changed.Thinking of you and of Ricky z"l and sending you a virtual hug.

Anonymous said...

Perlsand, as I commented on the ID card post, you can have them leave your child's name on it with z"l after it. My child passed away and his name is still on my card.

Rickismom said...

I'm going to have to go to their office and check this out.... and will let you all know (hopefully) what happens

Rickismom said...

Anonymous is correct

perlsand said...

feetety 156Anonymous and Rickismom-so glad that things have changed in this respect. This was definitely not done 22 years ago because I specifically asked and was denied.May all we bereaved parents not know from more sorrow.

Rachel Douglas said...

I just fell in love with you and your blog. I have some learning to do and I think I found a good teacher.