Next Tuesday is
the date of what would have been Ricki's eighteenth birthday. We always celebrated her birthdays with joy,
with pleasure at watching her grow into her teens. For several years she wanted
a birthday "crown" as children in pre-school use. As she got older, I
convinced her that teens celebrate birthdays differently. I also bought her
gifts befitting her age.
I know that I want
to visit Ricki's grave on her birthday. But I do not want the day to be a sad
one. [Even visiting a grave can have an element of creativity. When my son
visited Ricki's grave he put stones on her grave, as is the custom. But he laid
them out in the figure of a heart and a tree…..] I want to mark her birthday as
a celebration of how happy we are to have had her in our lives. I have yet to think exactly how I will do
that……
But I know that one
thing I would appreciate would be if my
regular readers would share on that day something that they learned from the
blog about Ricki, that they enjoyed,
that surprised them, or the like.
13 comments:
I remember that Ricki loved her niece. And the adventure trip you took across Colorado.
her smile
enjoy the day for the blessing she brought
Not from the blog, but I was moved by all the love that was shown for Ricki by the people that were also there during the short time I was at your home during shiva.
I learned from Ricki's MOM that being a good mother doesn't mean ignoring the difficulties, nor hiding them from the world, but using them to uplift and to teach -- and to make us appreciate the sweet moments.
Ricki may have been a challenge at times but also a joy at her accomplishments. She gave you insight into life and the opportunity to help new mothers come to terms with a child born with Down.
I have been meaning to write to you for the past few weeks... I remember how you would have yearly family meetings to discuss Ricki's needs as she got older...and finding her niche within her role as aunt... and her soy patties cravings... and the things she threw out the window... how many pairs of eyeglasses...hearing aids... the storekeepers she befriended... the after-school classes/groups that she enjoyed... I have learned so many things from her life, things that you did; celebrating the milestones, as well as dealing with her spunk, energy, and creativity... the positives and the challenges...
thank you for sharing your life, and hers...
A great tribute! I'll be thinking about what to write...
It is so hard to really believe she is gone. You must miss her so much, as she was such a big part of your life.
She was creative in outwitting others in order to achieve goals that she felt were being thwarted. I always admire that gift, even though I understand that living with it is a different story.
May you be comforted by your memories of Ricki and the knowledge that she knew love and family. Both of these things so many children with disabilities were denied in previous generations.
I love how you use the word "spunky" to describe Ricki, and the pictures of her hiking with your parents in the states. She really looks spunky there.
I really enjoyed hearing stories about how spunky Ricki was. I enjoyed that she has such a great spirit and with the way that you wrote about her that all of your readers felt they knew her.
Dear Ricki's Mom,
I have really enjoyed the honesty of your blog, and the way you can use humor to help deal with even the most frustrating situations (case in point; your recent black eye!).
From you and Ricki I have learned that it's important to adapt to the situation as things change - kids grow older, behaviors adapt, needs develop.
I have learned to appreciate the joy in even the smallest evidence of progress.
I have learned how important it is to take care of myself, because "if the mamma's not happy, ain't nobody happy". (this is the hardest thing of all, to put yourself before others)
I have loved the pictures that you create, both with the words you use and with the photographs you post, of the beauty in the ordinary.
May Ricki's memory be for a blessing, today and always.
Debbie
What I learnt from Ricki was determination and creativity. In all the stories you shared of her, she knew exactly what she wanted to do, to say, to achieve, and to have; and she never seemed to let anything stop her from accomplishing her desired goals.
Also, in her own unique ways, she lived life to the full - I was personally encouraged and inspired by her to challenge my own health limitations, and to be more like her - to really get into life and live it.
Her spirit certainly lives on strongly in our household.
Thank you for this opportunity to reflect on what I learnt from Ricki, as they are the most important lessons in life, a person can learn.
Much love from Australia.
Kay and Family.
I have been following your blog for a while but I don't know if I've commented before.
I learned from Ricki how strong a personality you can have even if you are developmentally disabled. I also learned, from your own emphasis, that even though she seemed in some ways very young, she was also developing into a young woman.
Thank you for sharing so much of your and Ricki's lives with us.
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