Sunday, October 17, 2010

“I Want to Live HERE!”

With sundown at about 5 PM, our Friday evening shabbas meal finishes early. And since I had not had time in the morning for a walk, I headed off after the meal with Ricki to visit a friend of mine, thus not only having the joy of the visit, but getting some exercise while both going and returning. My friend lives in a lightly more upscale neighborhood, as as we entered the area, Ricki ogled the houses. “I want to live HERE”! she exclaimed, and minutes later as we passed another house, with recessed lights along the front steps of the apartment building, Ricki nudged me: “Look at that!”
Now I am not immune to desiring luxuries, but I have the understanding that certain things cost more many than I wish to spend, or can afford to. I had the feeling that Ricki did not really understand that. When I mentioned that the houses here were expensive, she simply countered with a “But I WANT to live HERE!”
We reached my friend’s house, which is not flashy on the exterior, but is self-designed and quite nice on the inside. After the visit, as we were leaving, Ricki started: “Mom…”
I knew what was coming.
“I want to live HERE.”
Just to be sure that I was reading her right, I asked her, “Do you want to live here WITH or WITHOUT the whole family, me, Dad, and everyone…?”
“With” [ WEW! RELIEF!!!]
So I tried to explain that we can’t afford it, and that we have a VERY nice house, and our house is neared the buses and nearer the stores…
It didn’t work.
“Mom, I want to live HERE…..”

Anyone have a manuel on teaching a teen with Down syndrome that she can't have it all? (Something a lot of the rest of us have trouble with.....)


Anonymous said...

I don't think there is anything wrong with the sentiment she expressed. She wants it; she can't have it. Don't we all experience that?

Does she have an allowance? Or a way of earning pocket money? That might give her a taste of what is involved.


rickismom said...

Chana, I mwentioned that we all have such feelings. But she (like all of us) will be more content if she can learn that she can't have it all, and that this (not having)is not necessarily bad.