Pumpkin Pie, Cheese Cake, and Walks

    One of the dishes I traditionally make for the Sukkot holiday is pumpkin pie. Maybe it's because my mom often made pumpkin pie this time of the year… I'm not sure. But one year I made it, and ever since, it has been almost a tradition. This year I also made one, but with a smaller number of guests around, the leftovers also stick around longer to tempt me. So late this afternoon a tempting idea hit me: "Go take an hour or hour-and-a-half walk, and you'll be able to have some pie now, and still have your regular once-a-week snack of cheesecake late tonight." Simply put, I could walk off the calories of a small piece of pie. 

    But early today I had already taken a good walk, and I really wanted to rest and read. But on the other hand, I was afraid that if I DIDN'T take a walk, I would have the cake anyway. Not only has it been holiday season here (and I am a bit lenient with myself as regards food during the holidays), but the pumpkin pie will not stay good indefinitely, and I wouldn't want it to spoil. [Note: Halachaikly (by Jewish law), I should definitely put my health before the mitzvah  (commandment) not to waste food, but who's being rational here??] I mean, a lot of work went into making that pie.

   But then, my common sense finally kicked in: "When you are 80 are you also going to be able to take TWO walks a day? --  Do you REALLY want to give in to indulging yourself? The holiday officially ended Thursday. - -  Do you want to get yourself re-used to eating several pieces of cake, like you USED to? You KNOW what the results will be."

   So I stayed home and read. And had pumpkin pie tonight instead of cheesecake (the cheesecake is frozen, and will keep very well until next week).

   Oh, and I pulled it off by getting BUSY tonight (taking down the decorations from the sukkah-booth. Nothing like activity to help beat cravings……..

PS. Here is the recipe:

PUMPKIN PIE (MY MOM'S RECIPE)

- for a Pyrex rectangle tray, about 25X 39 cm. size
half this amount is good for a regular pie tin

CRUST

Ingred:

5 cups sifted flour

2t. salt

2t. sugar

300 grams  (cup and a half) margarine (my Mom uses shortening, if you can get it kosher)

10-13 Tabl. COLD water

Combine dry ingredients, then add the margarine. In end add the water gradually until you have pliable, but non-sticky dough. Use a little water as needed..

If possible, refrigerate for a while before using.

FILLING:

Cook in mildly salted water about 3 kilos of pumpkin. (Minus seeds of course)

Strain WELL (save water for soup!). Mash pumpkin well, and separate about 7 cups of cooked pumpkin. Add to this:

6 eggs

2 cups brown sugar

Cinnamon (teaspoon?)

Pinch or 2 of ginger, cloves.

Add to this if you want a bit of evaporated milk or Rich creamer. (about 1/2 cup)

Roll out the crust (keep it thin-- you can patch it up if it tears.)and place in greased pie pan (rectangle) (If you are using the rectangle, you will have dough leftover). 

Pierce a few places all around with a fork.

Pour filling on top

 Bake 10 minutes at 200 degrees, then at 150 (centigrade, obviously) until filling is well set and has a slight baked tinge, and crust is lightly browned.(Total baking time about 50-60 minutes usually.) (Can stick a knife into the center, and it should come out clean)

Barriers (Both and Neither)

    Dave Hingsburger, a noted speaker on disabilities, talks in his blog about  barriers which people with physical disabilities erect in their mind after repeated disappointments. [The blog is HERE, go ahead and read it. My blog will wait a moment.]

    However, it is not only those with disabilities that do this. We all do it.

----The inner voice that says "Why diet, I'll never stick with it, I have no willpower."

----The feeling of hopelessness before Yom Kippur: "Why repent for yelling at my kids… I'll never change…."

----Or a feeling that try as you will, you can never make peace with your mother-in-law, your Aunt Celia, you cousin …..

    But on the other side, don't we also see a lot of people who claim that they CAN make a change… when the day comes that they decide to do so? (The alcoholic who claims that he could quit drinking when he wants to, and the like.)

So who is right?

Both… and neither.

   The person who believes he can change is correct… our sages tell us that as long as a person lives, he can change. HOWEVER, just deciding to change is very rarely ever enough.  To truly change, he will need to work out a livable, usable strategy. He will need to tackle whatever issues are holding him back.

  And the person who feels that he can not change realizes, correctly, that he must make a major internal overhaul in order to change. But what he does not realize is once he will start, like an exercised muscle which gains strength, the going will become much more manageable.

  Making a lasting change includes delving to the roots and reasons of our behavior, and correcting them, not just the behavior itself.

Quick Update

I had a LOVELY first three days of the holiday, and am in a good, upbeat mood. DESPITE all that I overate.
 Yes I overate. I did. I'll live with that. It is a holiday.

But enough is enough.
Back to watchfulness.

Yes. Now. Right away.

Simchat Torah… Nachas VS. True Celebration

[ BTW, a former post with pictures about the upcoming Succah (Sukkot) holiday which starts this Wednesday evening, and runs through the middle of next week, is HERE. Simchat Torah follows the day after the end of the Sukkot holiday.]

  

     Simchat Torah used to be one of my favorite holidays.

   For those not familiar with the holiday, I quote selected sections of Wikipedia:

   "Simchat Torah is a celebration marking the conclusion of the annual cycle of public Torah readings, and the beginning of a new cycle....The main celebration of Simchat Torah takes place in the synagogue during evening and morning services. …..In the morning, the last parashah[Torah reading] of Deuteronomy and the first parashah of Genesis are read in the synagogue. On each occasion, when the ark is opened, all the worshippers leave their seats to dance and sing with all the Torah scrolls in a joyous celebration that often lasts for several hours and more. ….In Orthodox synagogues, the dancing is mainly carried out by men and boys; very young girls may also be sent in to dance on their fathers' shoulders. Women and older girls…. look on from the other side of a mechitza (partition) in accordance with the rules of tzniut (modesty).

The morning service is also uniquely characterized by the calling up of each male member of the congregation for an aliyah, as well as a special aliyah for all the children in attendance."

    It used to be that for me, Simchat Torah meant hours in the synagogue, lovingly watching my children , and in later years, grandchildren, dance below. I enjoyed walking to synagogue with little children in tow, as they carried their special "degelim" (paper flags), or a fake stuffed "Torah scroll" of their own to prance around with.  When Ricki was a teen, I would often watch her watching the dancing below, gratefully noticing the teenage girls in the synagogue making space for her at the VERY overcrowded mechitza (separation window between the men and women's sections of the synagogue).

    But I wrote above: " Simchat Torah used to be one of my favorite holidays. "

    What happened????

Ricki died.

My husband is too ill to go to synagogue. And if he did, he certainly would not be dancing.

My youngest son, who is not religious, will NOT go to synagogue.

My married children prefer to stay in their own communities for the holiday, as is very common.

   So I have no one to watch in synagogue, and my husband and son will not want the meal hours and hours late just so that I can sit in the women's section of the synagogue. (They WOULD understand the delay for the sake of one of their older siblings with their children.)

   So suddenly Simchat Torah has become a holiday that "means" little more than a festive meal, robbed of its original connection to our Torah.

  I admit that originally I was rather upset with my children, who have not managed to set up a "rotation" system, where each year a different one would forgo being in their own community for the holiday. That would be easy, no?

   Well, maybe not. Do I REALLY know why no one is coming? There may be reasons that they do not share with me. Maybe their spouses parents would be alone if they did not go to THEM. Maybe there are other reasons that they need to be at home. And besides, would I REALLY want a son and daughter-in-law to come begrudgingly?????

   And why in G-d's name am I feeling sorry for myself? Are there not people in the hospital for the holiday? Women with NO kids to EVER watch dancing beneath the women's balcony?  Women with NO husband at all to say a Torah thought?

   And I myself not demeaning the holiday with MY attitude? Is Simchat Torah really about getting nachas (pleasure) from my kids and grandchildren, or is it about really celebrating the receiving of the Torah? Can I relish the gift of G-d's holy scrolls despite whatever tribulations G-d has thrown my way?

     I simply have to find a way to make the holiday meaningful to me, in another way.   

A Cream-Bo Saga

[image: vanilla and mocha-flavored creambos.]

   I was doing some grocery shopping for the upcoming holidays when I noticed the typical cardboard cartons that herald the coming of fall in Israel: carton of Cream-Bo treats.[I havewritten a post about these confections before, including a definition.] 

  I personally thought, considering the heat outside, that it is a bit early in the year for cream-bos, however, I was sure that my grandchildren would have no scruples about eating some during the upcoming sukkah holiday, and I bought a box. But I was sure to purchase the mocha flavor, it being a bit less sweet than the more prevent white vanilla ones.

   Later that evening when the delivery from the supermarket arrived, soldier-son "Y" happened to be home, and was opening the boxes for me. When he opened the delivery box containing the carton of cream-bos his eyes lit up…. And he quickly stuffed the entire box in the freezer--- we believing, in our family, that cream-bos are tastier frozen. (As he was doing this I thought to myself "So much for having any left in two weeks for the holidays….." ) Friday both he and my husband sampled one each, but I decided that  since they are a really empty 115 calories, I would wait until Saturday night, after the Yom-Kippur fast, when I would have plenty of calories to "spare".

     So a few hours after the fast (having first ingested much healthier things like vegetable soup), I decided that a cream-bo treat was in order. After two bites I told my son—"I'm sorry, but I just can't finish it. I don't like it. It is TOO sweet." No more cream-bos for me. That easy. That simple. My tastes have changed. I have gone from liking cream-bos, to preferring salads (see  above referral to previous post), to not being able to finish one. Even after a fast day.

Paying for My Sins......

    Ever since my return from the US, I have had pain in my left knee.  Before losing weight I often had bouts of knee pain., and in fact, THAT was one of my big incentives to lose weight.  But once I had lost a decent amount, my knee pain basically stopped.
   But now the pain had returned, and the orthopedist decided that I have inflammation in the joint, apparently triggered by the strain of the two and a half weeks of hiking that I had just finished.He sent me for several tests: x-ray, ultrasound, and blood tests. The blood tests were fine- no sign of gout or rheumatoid factor. But the ultrasound was another story....
   As soon as the doctor doing the ultrasound started he turned to me, puzzled. "Did you used to weigh a lot more?" I admitted that his hunch was correct, drawing the response I knew was coming: "Well, your knee is worn down MUCH more than I would expect from your present weight."
    G-R-E-A-T....
    So I am paying now for the sin of years of abusing my body with overweight. And here I had hoped that I would be OK, having lost weight....
   If you are overweight, and still young, PLEASE do yourself a favor and don't wait for your knees to hurt to START to lose.
   In the meantime, I am hoping that physiotherapy, and a gradual reduction in the swelling will lesson the pain or erase it (at least for the time being).And the best thing is that it doesn't hurt when I walk, but rather when I am sitting!

Ricki's "Yartzeit"

(Note for non-Jewish readers: "Yartzeit" is the Yiddish term for  the yearly anniversary of a death.)

 [image: a colorful stone "mosaic", heart-shaped.]

     Ricki's yartzeit (which goes by the Jewish calendar), was on Saturday, the 27^th of July.  I had expressly planned the timing of our trip to the USA in order that we return before that date, arriving here on the 23^rd. Also my dear sister-in-law would be visiting then from Brazil, so we had two reasons to be back that week.

   So on our return, in addition to unpacking, cleaning up the mess the house had gotten into (there had been others in the house during our absence), I had to spend some time with my sister –in-law, which was a pleasure. I also needed to organize the family gathering at Ricki's grave for either Friday the 26^th, or Sunday the 28^th. In the end, the married children all opted for coming on Friday, and staying over for Shabbat  (Saturday) at our house. And since I was just after a trip, THEY did (and brought) 70% of the cooking. [One of my daughters-in-law baked such an ENORMOUS amount  of challot (bread) that we froze the leftovers, and my husband and I have been eating then on the Sabbath up until and through this last week.]

   That Friday I prepared (my share) of things early, so as to be able to have the time to go to Ricki's grave in the afternoon. Finally, a bit on the late side, Ricki's siblings arrived, and we drove over to the graveyard. It was rather late, and vehicular access to the graveyard was closed. My husband cannot walk the distance to her grave, however, and after a bit of arm turning and name-dropping, my sons managed to get the guard to let one of our cars in. Meanwhile, while they were doing this, I had walked over to the grave, and had some quiet time there. I even managed to rearrange the stones on her grave (left from the last "mosaic")* into a heart. We then held a small service, and rushed back home to finish our final preparations for the Sabbath.

   The Sabbath, with several of Ricki's siblings together, was extremely nice. They enjoyed the time together. In addition, the grandchildren had an extended time together, a rare opportunity. On Saturday, during the main meal, we spent some time reminiscing about Ricki, and even a few of the older grandchildren joined us in this. (Although I was amused that the grandchildren who used to fight with her a lot, also drew her in rosy colors….). We already have noted that Ricki's yartzeit next year again falls on the weekend, and plan to do this again…….

     The only downside was that the youngest sibling (Y) who would have been able to come (ie, excluding those in America) had to be in the army that weekend. [So he planned to visit her grave on the secular date of her passing a few weeks later, although that date turned out to be rather hectic, and I'm not sure he managed it. I think he went  a week later, but I didn't ask him, as I don't want him to feel guilty if he didn't manage.]  

      I also add, tongue in cheek, that it's too bad Ricki missed that shabbas. She would have loved it….

*BTW, these "mosaics" are NOT a Jewish tradition. The tradition is to put regular pepples on a grave. The "mosaics" are my " mesugas" ("craziness").

Oh My Gosh...

  I wanted to find an old post on a certain topic, and while doing this, I was rereading several posts from about three years ago. And several of the incidents I had written about had slipped my memory.

 "Oh my gosh, I'd forgotten that!"

   Guess I'm going to have to reread my own blog!

Attack on Soldiers

   I feel that I must comment on the recent attacks by members in the Chareidi community on Chareidi soldiers.I feel that chareidi community members must stand up and say "We do NOT agree with this hooliganism!" It is time to say "the actions of the few do not speak for all of us".

Hiking in the Mountains: True Title Below

True Title: The Rabbit that Won Finished the Race; (and Realizing Your Limits)
    Last time I was visiting my mother, two years ago, I attempted two hikes where I had to turn back, due to a heavy snow cover which made the routes potentially dangerous for me.I hoped that this year, there being less snow, that I would be able to do these two hikes. One was to Black lake, the second to Timberline Falls (which lies between the Loch and Sky Pond, just before Lake of Glass). Both are substantial hikes (for me). The hike to black lake is about 10 miles round trip, with an elevation gain of 1430 feet; the hike to Timberline Falls is about 8 miles round trip, with an elevation gain of about 1200 feet from the nearest trailhead.
   Last week I did the hike to Black lake. I did it slowly (EVERYONE on the trail was passing me). But my goal was not to win the race, but to accomplish it. And even though the stones just before black lake (see photo) made me a bit nervous, I knew that I could cross them. And I did.
[image: stones at entrance to black lake, looking back]

        Today, along with my older brother, and sister-in-law, I did the hike to Timberline Falls.
[image: The grandeur of Timberline Falls, which makes the trek up 1200 feet worthwhile.]

     But here's the rub: beyond Timberline Falls lies "Lake of Glass", and a bit beyond that is "Sky Pond".  My brother often mentions "Sky Pond", and I was hoping that since I was climbing with him (and his hiking pole), I would be able to do that which I dared not do on my own: climb to Lake of Glass and Sky Pond. HOWEVER, the path to these two lakes is not a regular path. It involves climbing up the steep rocks to the right of Timberline falls.
[image: a wider view of Timberline falls, showing the smaller falls and stones next to them to the right of the major part of the falls.]

   I quickly ascertained that I did not feel comfortable nor safe doing this section of the hike, and elected to sit for a while at Timberline falls, while my brother and sister-in-law continued on to Sky Pond. Maybe I could have done it, but my fear of getting stuck in the middle, or worse yet, on the way back--- there is a very steep rock at one point along the side of the falls---- made me question the wisdom of doing it. Even if my older brother can. Even if nearly everyone else arriving at the falls did it. And I won't say that I didn't feel a bit bad about it. However, we need to be able to recognize our limits. We need to be able to trust our inner voice. We need to be able to say "I am not doing this", even when everyone else is.

Just for the Record (GRIN)

   I want to share pictures of me from four years ago as compared to now, standing at the "overhang" rock on the trail to (and from) the "pool" in Rocky mountain national park:
Four years ago:













a few days ago:

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly....

   I am currently visiting my dear Mom in Estes Park Colorado, and thus am able to hike in the rocky mountains, as I did 2 years ago, and 4, and 6 years ago.  
     Four years ago I hiked with Ricki to Cub lake, which she enjoyed. TWO years ago I hiked by myself to cub lake,  and over the ridge to the "pool", a 6.3 mile hike.It was easier two years ago, even though the hike was longer.
    Today I again did this hike (as a warmer-up to more serious hiking), and was pleased to note that I was able to do the hike with almost no breathlessness, and with relative ease. Losing weight has helped. That is the good.
   The "Bad and the Ugly" is that nearly all of the path between Cub lake and the pool was burnt to a crisp by the forest fire there last fall.
[image: burnt forest]

It looked like a scene from an "end of the world" movie screen stage. This picture (courtesy of my brother) shows a miniscule area of the acres and acres of damage. Trees which took tens of years to grow, lost in brief minutes. A terrible reminder that it is much easier to destroy something than to build it.

  Let us all build something good with our lives today.

Accosted

   This incident happened about 2 weeks ago, but I just hadn't had time to write about it. I was walking along the street in Ramat Gan (a suburb of Tel Aviv), when suddenly I heard someone muttering next to me, which at first I ignored. Suddenly I realized that a man was talking to me. He was yelling "AREN'T YOU AFRAID? PEOPLE NEED 5 JOBS TO STAY FISCAL, AREN'T YOU SCARED?"
   Apparently this barrage was brought on by the recent political climate. What amazed me was the assumptions he was making:
1) That I do not work
2) That my husband does not work
3) That my husband/sons do not (did not) serve in the army.

  What little tiny boxes of preconceived notions we pollute our minds with......

The Freedom of Being Thin

   I don't remember why I had arrived at the 92 bus stop at the shopping mall. Possibly I had been out "walking", and walking all the way home was a bit to much, or perhaps I had been shopping. But I do remember that I wanted to get home as quickly as possible. And as I approached the bus stop, the man sitting there commented "You just missed the bus; it left the stop as I was approaching the station about 3 minutes ago. "
   Now this bus runs every 20 minutes, so I understood that waiting at this stop would mean a 15 minute wait. But I had another option: a 7 minute walk away is the NEXT stop for the 92 bus, and one can also catch at that second stop, a #7 bus, which travels the same route as far as my house. So I decided to walk to the next stop, where I could catch either the next bus of the 92, or a #7 bus, whichever comes first. As I left I commented casually to the man that walking over to the next stop would increase the chances of not needing the 17 minute wait to the next 92. But I "knew" that he probably wouldn't do so....because he was extremely overweight.  A  prisoner of his body, he waited at the stop.
  I walked over to the next stop and caught a 7 bus which arrived moments after my arrival.

Awkward Encounters

    I've had a few awkward encounters lately.  The first was with a friend I haven't seen in a while- I saw her on the street, and enthusiastically greeted her, but her reaction was a bit lukewarm. Later I realized that she probably didn't recognize me (because of my weight loss), and was too busy racking her brains trying to figure out who I was.
   The second encounter was today with the mother of an older boy with Down syndrome from our town. I was on the bus, and as I went towards the back of the bus, I spotted her, and enthusiastically sat down. She was in awe over my weight loss, and after talking about that for a few moments, she asked "How's Ricki?"
  PAUSE
   "I guess you didn't hear"..(pause to let her hear that and maybe queses what is coming)..."Unfortunately Ricki died about ten months ago..."
   She, thankfully didn't fall over herself apologizing (I always DID like this lady... she is MUCH more "orthodox" than me, but she is one smart sensible lady).
    It is unbelievable that ten moths have passed already.....

Great Video

click HERE to go to video I posted about. (But there is a commercial preceding it)
This is a video about a photographer who likes to show those with special needs in a positive light.

Temorary Insanity????

Even after losing 75 kilos, I need to stay constantly on guard. 
   Lately I have been walking a bit less, and also eating more. (I can blame that on the "shavuous" holiday, but I just used the holiday as an excuse to over-indulge in my favorite food, cheesecake...)
    I need to face the fact that I am making unhealthy choices, which, if continued, will lead to weight gain. For the last two weeks I have been choosing to ignore what I know to be true, to ignore my need to put limits and draw the line.
     Tonight I am simply facing the truth of what I am choosing, and where I want to be 10 years from now.

    Dang....I will KEEP that excess weight off. NNNOOO WWWAAAYYY am I going back to the life I had before losing. NO FOOD is worth that!! Not even cheesecake.

   So back to the grind... which really isn't a grind. I ENJOY being healthy, I enjoy exercise. I won't even miss that cheesecake if I say "No" to myself. 

    I just wish that I could figure out WHY I let "holidays" be an excuse for TWO weeks instead of 2 days. Temporary insanity???

Postscript: Actually, the fact that I have been exercising less, and sleeping less in probably a significant factor in my over-extending my holiday "allowance". It all ties in together. Keeping good habits encourages other good habits as well.....

"Mother's Day" and Ricki (and the rest of my kids, even more!!)

[image: another mosaic on Ricki's grave, this time a bird (who flew away....).]

 Originally, I planned to visit Ricki's grave last Thursday, a month or so since my last visit. However, certain things cropped up, and I didn't manage, so I went today. (Even today I toyed with the idea of pushing the visit off another week or so, as I had other things I wanted to get done as well. However, I DID want to go, AND I felt as well an obligation to not put the visit off too long.)  As I was walking to her grave (it's only about a ten minute walk from the bus stop), I remembered that it's "mother's day".

    Now, I am not a big advocate of "mother's day", feeling that I need to tell my mom more than once a year that I appreciate her, and not, certainly, because someone reminded me. But with all that aside, I was struck by the irony that I was going to Ricki's grave exactly on "mother's day". 

   You see, I am still very much Ricki's mom. I think about her often, and the fact that she was my daughter is such a big part of my existence.Being a parent doesn't stop when our children grow up and move away, get married, and find jobs. We are still concerned about them--- and their families as well. We pray for them, we enjoy them,  and we sometimes even risk inserting our two cents of an opinion.

    And our offspring, in turn, often sweeten our lives by showing the  maturity that once we were never sure would take root and sprout. We see them raising their children, and interacting with their nephews, and we are touched by the similarities between this, and how they were raised, and grateful for those things they do better. 

    So happy mother's day to all you moms.... and let's try and be the moms we hope our kids will one day be. 

The Decision/Choices

   Today I saw this photo posted on the facebook page "Amber's Journey from 400 lbs to Healthy"

[image with caption: "Hey you, weight loss and a healthy life is not a fairytale. If you want it, get off your a** and work for it."]

   I LOVE it and HATE it. Why?

    I love it because it contains a very pertinent truth: Weight loss comes not from a magic Chinese tea, not from a fad diet, but from an honest-to-goodness evaluation of what is keeping you from living in a healthy way, and then making the choices that are needed to get there.

   I hate it because the forever-thin population is unlikely to know just how hard weight loss can be. I can see them smugly throwing this line to every obese person they know. And they may have no idea of just how difficult the journey can be.

     [ I have written previously on this topic HERE in a similar vein, including Jewish sources.]

    Thin people often think that the overweight person just has to "make up their mind" in order to lose the excess poundage. But in reality, true weight loss is not caused by a one-time decision, but by a 1001 choices, moment-by-moment, day-by-day. The slim population needs to realize that keeping that type of extended commitment to weight loss is an accomplishment akin to the success of a marathon runner: you only are going to achieve results with a consistent, sustained change in the way one views food and living.

   And those who are overweight need to  grasp that each individual choice is not that difficult. It is doable, and even enjoyable. If you take the journey step-by-step, you will arrive at your goal eventually.

   So to make life more fun, I have created two poster-pictures:

[image of trail sign with caption "Weight loss is not from a one-time decision. It's a series of choices, moment by moment, day by day."]

And:

[image with caption: "People who are thin don't know how hard weight-loss is. People who are overweight don't know how doable it is…..."]

Memorial Day in Israel

[This post was prompted by comments over at Shiloh Musings

 ]

   There has been a lot of debate in Israel lately about whether to keep "soldier's memorial day" back-to-back with Independence Day (preceding it) or not. Here are my thoughts on this:

1)      I do not think that we should combine, as some have suggested, Memorial Day with holocaust remembrance day. They are two entirely different things! [This is one reason I am appalled by how politicians try to cash in on holocaust remembrance day with plans for Israel today. Holocaust day should be reserved for mourning what we have lost.]

2)     If we remove soldier's remembrance memorial day to a whole week before Independence day, it will lose a lot of its significance and impact. The limitation that we cannot start independence celebrations till nightfall after the memorial day is a stark reminder that this independence came at a very heavy price.

3)      I dare say that for families who have lost a family member, they will carry it forward into the holiday in any case.

4)      What could be done is to make the last few hours of the memorial day more neutral. Ceremonies should be in the morning, and up to 2 or 3. Radio and TV should after those hours have programs which are not holiday, but with less emphasis on mourning. Shops should remain closed.