The other day Ricki came home from school wearing a paper kerchief- the type one would expect as an accessory to a school performance of four year olds. Just as in the case of the balloon and streamers last October I felt that the outfit was entirely inappropriate, and certainly not for the street. Since for the summer program there is a different (younger) teacher, who had not yet heard my diatribe on teens with Down syndrome NOT being little girls, I went to the school to calmly yet emphatically voice my objections.
Then this morning, Ricki asked me to braid her hair into 2 “pigtails”. Here in Israel this type of hair style is rarely worn by teens, it is considered “babyish”. So I tried to convince Ricki that it was not all that appropriate, but she insisted anyway. In the end, I acquiesced, as SOME teens do wear braids.
All of this leads to the question of how much do you enforce your opinion on a child with intellectual disabilities, in the name of education, and how much do you “let it go”, because they need to make their own choices. I would be interested in your opinions.
Showing posts with label special education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label special education. Show all posts
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Negative Reaction Trap….
About two weeks ago I found that I had gotten locked into a battle of wills with Ricki. Her behavior was becoming increasingly obnoxious, and I was often slipping into the “band-aid” approach of simply reacting negatively.
[As parents, many of us slip from time to time into a sort of “automatic” mode, where one’s interaction with one’s child can escalate to a seemingly never-ending scenario of misbehavior, punishment from the parents, and resulting anger (causing further misdeeds) on part of the child.]
Finally it got to the point that I realized that things could not continue on in this manner, so I sat down to draw up an intervention plan. I made a very basicprize system where Ricki can earn up to about 25 “stars” a day, which can be redeemed for presents on Tuesday afternoon when the star store is open. So far it has been working very well, and not only is life easier for me, but Ricki herself seems to be relieved that she is in a calmer, less angry mode.
[As parents, many of us slip from time to time into a sort of “automatic” mode, where one’s interaction with one’s child can escalate to a seemingly never-ending scenario of misbehavior, punishment from the parents, and resulting anger (causing further misdeeds) on part of the child.]
Finally it got to the point that I realized that things could not continue on in this manner, so I sat down to draw up an intervention plan. I made a very basicprize system where Ricki can earn up to about 25 “stars” a day, which can be redeemed for presents on Tuesday afternoon when the star store is open. So far it has been working very well, and not only is life easier for me, but Ricki herself seems to be relieved that she is in a calmer, less angry mode.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Birthday Gift
What I bought Ricki for her birthday says a lot about how I view the proper way to educate a child with intellectual impairment. And when I spoke to Ricki’s school officials about the trailing streamers incident
I mentioned my gift as an example of the attitude I want.
Many people feel that the best way to treat a special-needs child is to “make them happy”. I mean, that SOUNDS good, doesn’t it? I mean, we DO want our children to be happy.
But consider this. If you have a (“normal”) son who is failing math, and tomorrow he has a math test, do you let him go see a football game, or do you have him “hit the books”? Obviously, the second choice. Why? You want him to be happy, no? But you realize that, in the long run of his life, he needs that math to succeed and be happy. So you push him to tackle and learn the tools he needs to be a functional, successful adult.
So even though Ricki had mentioned that she would like a ball (the type little kids play with),I did not even consider buying her that. Instead I spent much more money and purchased for her a cleansing face wash, foot cream, a bowl to soak her feet in, a nice towel ,and a pumice stone. I wrapped it all up nicely, and she really enjoyed getting “a gift that suits high school girls”. Of course, that doesn’t mean that she can’t have fun. .....
I mentioned my gift as an example of the attitude I want.
Many people feel that the best way to treat a special-needs child is to “make them happy”. I mean, that SOUNDS good, doesn’t it? I mean, we DO want our children to be happy.
But consider this. If you have a (“normal”) son who is failing math, and tomorrow he has a math test, do you let him go see a football game, or do you have him “hit the books”? Obviously, the second choice. Why? You want him to be happy, no? But you realize that, in the long run of his life, he needs that math to succeed and be happy. So you push him to tackle and learn the tools he needs to be a functional, successful adult.
So even though Ricki had mentioned that she would like a ball (the type little kids play with),I did not even consider buying her that. Instead I spent much more money and purchased for her a cleansing face wash, foot cream, a bowl to soak her feet in, a nice towel ,and a pumice stone. I wrapped it all up nicely, and she really enjoyed getting “a gift that suits high school girls”. Of course, that doesn’t mean that she can’t have fun. .....
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Comments on Inclusion
By way of the Jewish Blogosphere “Magazine” Carnival, Hevel Havalim, a very sad post at “Open Minded Torah” about a father’s inability to get a chareidi cheder (school) to accept his young son who has Down syndrome, as a student.
One person who commented on the post, among others, a Mr.Havlei, said the following:
“The concept of mainstreaming is in general a selfish parental endeavor designed to avoid stigmatized special education while ignoring a. the current educational ability and needs of the childb. the extra burden placed on his mainsteam teacher, presumably ill equipped to deal with physical disabilitiesc. the school which as as a private institution can only survive financially by attracting the best students.Mainstreaming was a government ideal in the UK when they created comprehensive schools. It was a miserable failure. “
He also wrote:
“If Rickismom would google “downs uk mainstreaming” she would find that while the few mainstream schools that are forced to accept Downs, they have to offer a form of special ed by bringing in specialized staff that can overlap that of the mainstream teachers.As if it’s just charedi schools that have a problem, here in the heart of England, normal government schools find themselves fighting the wishes of the individual with those of the majority: http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/may/19/downs-syndrome-school”
I would like to answer these accusations here in the public forum.
My daughter Ricki, who has Down syndrome plus ADHD, has been integrated in a regular classroom from earliest pre-school through eighth grade in Israel. (Next year we are putting her in special ed, not due to her inability, but due to the inability of schools to be a bit flexible in important things like giving us the material to be studied in advance. We, like many of the parents in the”Guardian” article Mr. Havlei mentions, have decided to go special ed not due to our child’s inability to be included, but due to the inflexibility of educators.) I have several points:
1. Mr. Havlei, I don't know where you heard that England gave up on inclusion. It is false as can be. While some schools are often reluctant to make the switch to inclusion, and parents can get disheartened, the experts on education for children with Down syndrome, and most parents, are still opting for inclusion. Down'sEd of England has studies that show consistantly the benefit of inclusion for children with Down syndrome.
It is important to note that this "inclusion" is not taking the kid and dropping him into the regular classroom, period. We are talking about a child with an intellecdtual disability. OF COURSE, as you write, “they have to offer a form of special ed by bringing in specialized staff that can overlap that of the mainstream teachers.”. This child needs the SERVICE of special education”. He DOES have an intellectual impairment, and a serious one at that. But special education is a service, not a PLACE. It can be delivered in the regular classroom, and if done correctly—with guidance to the staff- it is MUCH more effective (STUDY proven) than special ed delivered in a separate classroom. And studies have shown this option to have no effect on the scholastic level of the other students, and it also costs less to implement.
2. Inclusion means taking the material to be studied, deciding what part of it this student needs to learn, and what other things we want him to get from the class. For example, when Ricki studied "Italy" in 6th grade, she did not need to learn as much as her classmates. But she learned a few pertinent facts, AND she did adapted school work, in which she worked on the following:-writing sentences to label pictures of Italy. (for a picture of a vineyard: "In Italy there are vineyards.")-learning to use a dictionary (looking up the definition of "Gondola")-handwriting skills (copying the definition to her booklet-increasing vocabulary: (matching words to definitions) gondola, valley, port, export, import-reading comprehension (reading the textbook text: either highlighted parts, or re-written easier version of original pasted into her copy of the text)This year as she learned about telescopes, cameras, and microscopes, we did much of the same, but also did a whole work on using the yellow pages to find a camera store. And we did a similar "yellow-pages" task when studying "Shatnez" in chumash vayikra (mixture of linen and wool, Leviticus).
3. Mr. Havlei, your statement that parents only send their children to inclusion "selfish parental endeavor designed to avoid stigmatized special education while ignoring" is INSULTING!!! As is the statement:"ignoring the current educational ability and needs of the child".This goes along with the canard always thrown at parents who expect their children with DS to read, etc, that we are "not accepting the reality of my child's retardation". EXCUSE ME!???!! I LIVE with my child. And I am the one who will have to deal with my child as an adult. I know EXACTLY what my child is-and isn't. But when an educator who has never ONCE read any up-to-date information on Down syndrome, has read NO studies, has gone to NO INTERNATIONAL conferences, tells me that "Children with Down syndrome can not learn to read", and expert educators in England have proven not only that they CAN, but HOW to reach that goal, am I ignoring my child's needs by insisting that she be placed in a school with a siyat (aid) who will help her obtain this vital skill? I would also point out that in the special ed classroom, the teacher and one aid are able to give each of the four pupils about a half-hour of one-on-one daily. My daughter in inclusion gets about two hours of one-on -one daily, plus the language and behavior benefits of the normal classroom. And it costs the government LESS.
4. The problem of a bigger work load for the teacher.
If the school system, instead of taking the funds this student would have received in a special-ed setting, gets refused services, and the teachers refuse training, yes, it will be a burden. But if we stop trying to save money on the backs of special ed students (which will backfire eventually, as the disabled adults they become will be lower functioning, and a greater burden on society), and provide the teachers with the help they need, the workload does not fall on the teacher. There may be the initial trial of the “switch in service thinking”, but the end result will be teachers that are more aware of ALL their student’s needs, and a society that is more receptive of individuals who are different.
Ricki's teachers main jobs this year was to:
a. Give me the material to be studied a day or two in advance
b. Be willing to ask Ricki an easy question.
If they had been more willing to be a part of our planning, and had had the support to do so, they could have done more, and have been paid for that effort. The major work of adapting can be done by an aid, the teacher, or a “special education” teacher working as support. In ANY case the work should be paid for.
I will add that much of the material used to support the child with Down syndrome will and can be used to aid students who are weak in their studies.
One person who commented on the post, among others, a Mr.Havlei, said the following:
“The concept of mainstreaming is in general a selfish parental endeavor designed to avoid stigmatized special education while ignoring a. the current educational ability and needs of the childb. the extra burden placed on his mainsteam teacher, presumably ill equipped to deal with physical disabilitiesc. the school which as as a private institution can only survive financially by attracting the best students.Mainstreaming was a government ideal in the UK when they created comprehensive schools. It was a miserable failure. “
He also wrote:
“If Rickismom would google “downs uk mainstreaming” she would find that while the few mainstream schools that are forced to accept Downs, they have to offer a form of special ed by bringing in specialized staff that can overlap that of the mainstream teachers.As if it’s just charedi schools that have a problem, here in the heart of England, normal government schools find themselves fighting the wishes of the individual with those of the majority: http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/may/19/downs-syndrome-school”
I would like to answer these accusations here in the public forum.
My daughter Ricki, who has Down syndrome plus ADHD, has been integrated in a regular classroom from earliest pre-school through eighth grade in Israel. (Next year we are putting her in special ed, not due to her inability, but due to the inability of schools to be a bit flexible in important things like giving us the material to be studied in advance. We, like many of the parents in the”Guardian” article Mr. Havlei mentions, have decided to go special ed not due to our child’s inability to be included, but due to the inflexibility of educators.) I have several points:
1. Mr. Havlei, I don't know where you heard that England gave up on inclusion. It is false as can be. While some schools are often reluctant to make the switch to inclusion, and parents can get disheartened, the experts on education for children with Down syndrome, and most parents, are still opting for inclusion. Down'sEd of England has studies that show consistantly the benefit of inclusion for children with Down syndrome.
It is important to note that this "inclusion" is not taking the kid and dropping him into the regular classroom, period. We are talking about a child with an intellecdtual disability. OF COURSE, as you write, “they have to offer a form of special ed by bringing in specialized staff that can overlap that of the mainstream teachers.”. This child needs the SERVICE of special education”. He DOES have an intellectual impairment, and a serious one at that. But special education is a service, not a PLACE. It can be delivered in the regular classroom, and if done correctly—with guidance to the staff- it is MUCH more effective (STUDY proven) than special ed delivered in a separate classroom. And studies have shown this option to have no effect on the scholastic level of the other students, and it also costs less to implement.
2. Inclusion means taking the material to be studied, deciding what part of it this student needs to learn, and what other things we want him to get from the class. For example, when Ricki studied "Italy" in 6th grade, she did not need to learn as much as her classmates. But she learned a few pertinent facts, AND she did adapted school work, in which she worked on the following:-writing sentences to label pictures of Italy. (for a picture of a vineyard: "In Italy there are vineyards.")-learning to use a dictionary (looking up the definition of "Gondola")-handwriting skills (copying the definition to her booklet-increasing vocabulary: (matching words to definitions) gondola, valley, port, export, import-reading comprehension (reading the textbook text: either highlighted parts, or re-written easier version of original pasted into her copy of the text)This year as she learned about telescopes, cameras, and microscopes, we did much of the same, but also did a whole work on using the yellow pages to find a camera store. And we did a similar "yellow-pages" task when studying "Shatnez" in chumash vayikra (mixture of linen and wool, Leviticus).
3. Mr. Havlei, your statement that parents only send their children to inclusion "selfish parental endeavor designed to avoid stigmatized special education while ignoring" is INSULTING!!! As is the statement:"ignoring the current educational ability and needs of the child".This goes along with the canard always thrown at parents who expect their children with DS to read, etc, that we are "not accepting the reality of my child's retardation". EXCUSE ME!???!! I LIVE with my child. And I am the one who will have to deal with my child as an adult. I know EXACTLY what my child is-and isn't. But when an educator who has never ONCE read any up-to-date information on Down syndrome, has read NO studies, has gone to NO INTERNATIONAL conferences, tells me that "Children with Down syndrome can not learn to read", and expert educators in England have proven not only that they CAN, but HOW to reach that goal, am I ignoring my child's needs by insisting that she be placed in a school with a siyat (aid) who will help her obtain this vital skill? I would also point out that in the special ed classroom, the teacher and one aid are able to give each of the four pupils about a half-hour of one-on-one daily. My daughter in inclusion gets about two hours of one-on -one daily, plus the language and behavior benefits of the normal classroom. And it costs the government LESS.
4. The problem of a bigger work load for the teacher.
If the school system, instead of taking the funds this student would have received in a special-ed setting, gets refused services, and the teachers refuse training, yes, it will be a burden. But if we stop trying to save money on the backs of special ed students (which will backfire eventually, as the disabled adults they become will be lower functioning, and a greater burden on society), and provide the teachers with the help they need, the workload does not fall on the teacher. There may be the initial trial of the “switch in service thinking”, but the end result will be teachers that are more aware of ALL their student’s needs, and a society that is more receptive of individuals who are different.
Ricki's teachers main jobs this year was to:
a. Give me the material to be studied a day or two in advance
b. Be willing to ask Ricki an easy question.
If they had been more willing to be a part of our planning, and had had the support to do so, they could have done more, and have been paid for that effort. The major work of adapting can be done by an aid, the teacher, or a “special education” teacher working as support. In ANY case the work should be paid for.
I will add that much of the material used to support the child with Down syndrome will and can be used to aid students who are weak in their studies.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Two Sides of a Judaica (Judaic Arts/Objects) Fair – Where as Parents do We Draw the Line?
Recently, there was a Judaic arts display in our town. The newspaper announcements of the fair made it look interesting, and I was thinking of maybe even buying some nice artwork of some type. The location and timing made attendance for me easiest as part of my way home with Ricki from her drama class on that Monday. I was a bit worried if Ricki would behave well enough to allow me to enjoy the display, but I figured that otherwise I wouldn’t end up going at all.
As we entered the hall where the fair was, Ricki made a beeline for the concessions stand in the lobby. I drug her away (after refusing a free sweet for Ricki from a saleslady), emphasizing that this trip was going to be a well-behaved one.
Entering the actual display area, we encountered a row of exquisite Torah-scroll encasings (Sephardic design). This display being light-years beyond my spending range, we just “Ohhed” and “awed”, and I attempted to move on. Ricki was however partaking from the candy bowl set out on the table, and was availing herself of the expensive color-print display booklet obviously meant for distribution to synagogue trustees who might have at their disposal the large sums needed to buy the merchandise being sold in this area. I made her put the booklet back, limited her to one candy, and we headed towards the next area.
However, Ricki already realized what this “fair” had to offer. She always went a step ahead of me, collecting brochures, business cards, and candy from each desk. And her mother, between looking at articles of Judaica (and a lot of irrelevant stuff that had no place in such a display, but that eager sellers were hawking), played “policewoman”. Small advertisements and business cards I let her keep, and candies I limited to one a booth. (The candy was hidden away after we returned home to be doled out SLOWLY.)
However, I was very much torn in two directions. On one side, I wanted and hadhoped dreamed that Ricki would behave like a well-behaved young lady. And while I should have realized that this was really not going to happen, what bothered me the most was my internal debate: Should I have left her at home, knowing that she would not act 100% (although all in all, she was pretty good).... or perhaps I should relax a bit? The business people there seemed in general to be quite content to allow Ricki access to their brochures. Yet they didn’t speak “down” to her, nor did they try to prevent me from limiting her impulses for more expensive booklets or additional candy.(Only in one place did I have to demand that Ricki not be given a free $10 gift.)
The qualms and indecision I was dealing with was best seen at a booth selling vitamins. (Yes, at a Judaica fair!!???!) There they had a display decorated with several helium balloons, and when I arrived, several steps behind Ricki (here in Israel it is not as dangerous to be a few steps behind as it would be in the states....), they were giving one balloon to Ricki. I am not sure whose idea it was, but the teenage girls manning the booth were very obviously glad to bring a bit of happiness to her life.
So the query is this:
-Do I insist that she not receive the balloon, because she should neither be asking nor receiving gifts from strangers?
-Or do I realize that lots of people enjoy giving Ricki a good time, and since these were girls, the gift was of minimal value, and Ricki could do with some fun in her life... maybe I should just allow her to accept the gift graciously? Is it really that serious a crime for someone to give a special child, who has so many difficulties in her life, a special treat? Yet if I DO that, am I not condoning her non-normative behavior? [And if she ASKED for the balloon (rather than it being offered), I am only enabling her to continue to ask for handouts....?]
In the end I decided that I would let Ricki keep the balloon. I did mention that “big girls” don’t ask for gifts. But the fine line of knowing what should be done to teach normative behavior, and how much to accept non-normative behavior is a VERY TRICKY one.....
Note : This post is in lie of tomarrow morning's post; Tomarrow is the festival of Shavuot, and I will not be posting. Happy Shavuot!
As we entered the hall where the fair was, Ricki made a beeline for the concessions stand in the lobby. I drug her away (after refusing a free sweet for Ricki from a saleslady), emphasizing that this trip was going to be a well-behaved one.
Entering the actual display area, we encountered a row of exquisite Torah-scroll encasings (Sephardic design). This display being light-years beyond my spending range, we just “Ohhed” and “awed”, and I attempted to move on. Ricki was however partaking from the candy bowl set out on the table, and was availing herself of the expensive color-print display booklet obviously meant for distribution to synagogue trustees who might have at their disposal the large sums needed to buy the merchandise being sold in this area. I made her put the booklet back, limited her to one candy, and we headed towards the next area.
However, Ricki already realized what this “fair” had to offer. She always went a step ahead of me, collecting brochures, business cards, and candy from each desk. And her mother, between looking at articles of Judaica (and a lot of irrelevant stuff that had no place in such a display, but that eager sellers were hawking), played “policewoman”. Small advertisements and business cards I let her keep, and candies I limited to one a booth. (The candy was hidden away after we returned home to be doled out SLOWLY.)
However, I was very much torn in two directions. On one side, I wanted and had
The qualms and indecision I was dealing with was best seen at a booth selling vitamins. (Yes, at a Judaica fair!!???!) There they had a display decorated with several helium balloons, and when I arrived, several steps behind Ricki (here in Israel it is not as dangerous to be a few steps behind as it would be in the states....), they were giving one balloon to Ricki. I am not sure whose idea it was, but the teenage girls manning the booth were very obviously glad to bring a bit of happiness to her life.
So the query is this:
-Do I insist that she not receive the balloon, because she should neither be asking nor receiving gifts from strangers?
-Or do I realize that lots of people enjoy giving Ricki a good time, and since these were girls, the gift was of minimal value, and Ricki could do with some fun in her life... maybe I should just allow her to accept the gift graciously? Is it really that serious a crime for someone to give a special child, who has so many difficulties in her life, a special treat? Yet if I DO that, am I not condoning her non-normative behavior? [And if she ASKED for the balloon (rather than it being offered), I am only enabling her to continue to ask for handouts....?]
In the end I decided that I would let Ricki keep the balloon. I did mention that “big girls” don’t ask for gifts. But the fine line of knowing what should be done to teach normative behavior, and how much to accept non-normative behavior is a VERY TRICKY one.....
Note : This post is in lie of tomarrow morning's post; Tomarrow is the festival of Shavuot, and I will not be posting. Happy Shavuot!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
“Different Journey, Same Destination” A story on Down syndrome
This phrase was originally used by a disability advocate to express his view about people with special needs and/or disabilities having the same aspirations as the rest of us. But I have heard nearly the same quote in a much less positive way. I hear this phrase from a mother who had done the blood-sweat-and-tears to have her daughter included in the early years of inclusion in Israel. (In those days, as when I myself started including Ricki, the government gave no support, all costs where footed by the family, and parents requesting inclusion where assumed to be non-accepting of their child’s condition.) Eventually, when her child reached the age of first grade, she reluctantly gave up and put her daughter into special ed. As she bemoaned: “I spent all that time, money, and energy, and the end she ended up in the same special-ed class she would have been in normally.”
Her child had experienced a different journey, yet the destination was the same.
Next year, Ricki will also enter special ed. I have serious doubts that I will find a high school (and not to forget, a truly capable aide) willing to work with me in a way as to make Ricki’s inclusion both workable and worthwhile. So I wonder, is this also a case of “Different Journey, Same Destination”?
The answer is a resounding “NO!”
Ricki is not going into special education for first grade. Next year will be the start of high school for her. Those years of inclusion were not wasted. Her vocabulary, both passive and active, is huge. Also her expectation to be treated normally is well-ingrained. Those things alone, no to mention her high level of studies, are something that will not go lost. She owns them, and will carry them to wherever she goes.
Her child had experienced a different journey, yet the destination was the same.
Next year, Ricki will also enter special ed. I have serious doubts that I will find a high school (and not to forget, a truly capable aide) willing to work with me in a way as to make Ricki’s inclusion both workable and worthwhile. So I wonder, is this also a case of “Different Journey, Same Destination”?
The answer is a resounding “NO!”
Ricki is not going into special education for first grade. Next year will be the start of high school for her. Those years of inclusion were not wasted. Her vocabulary, both passive and active, is huge. Also her expectation to be treated normally is well-ingrained. Those things alone, no to mention her high level of studies, are something that will not go lost. She owns them, and will carry them to wherever she goes.
Monday, November 17, 2008
“I Was Really Surprised”(and so, Unfortunately, was I)
Some special-education-teacher students from our local teacher’s school are studying music therapy. So, I agreed to let Ricki be one of their “trial students” as they learn. Last week was her student teacher’s first session with Ricki. Ricki, as I had warned her, spent most of the time testing the waters, if the “teacher” would set limits or not. I gather that the “teacher” did, as this week she reported that Ricki had been a very active participant in the session. She added: “I was really surprised! She is AMAZING! She correctly identified the violin, piano, trumpet, flute, and drums on the picture I showed her. She knew the instrument names! And when I played a recording of the instruments, she was able to tell me which instrument made the sound!”
Well, I don’t know who was more surprised: her, or me! [I was shocked on realizing that she- - a future special-ed teacher - - didn’t expect a 14-year old teen with Down syndrome to recognize and distinguish between, a flute, trumpet, violin, drums, and piano!]
And PS. The “trumpet” was a saxophone. I labeled it correctly and told Ricki the correct name.
…..And then education authorities wonder why I would be so “stupid” as to choose inclusion over “special ed ……..
Well, I don’t know who was more surprised: her, or me! [I was shocked on realizing that she- - a future special-ed teacher - - didn’t expect a 14-year old teen with Down syndrome to recognize and distinguish between, a flute, trumpet, violin, drums, and piano!]
And PS. The “trumpet” was a saxophone. I labeled it correctly and told Ricki the correct name.
…..And then education authorities wonder why I would be so “stupid” as to choose inclusion over “special ed ……..
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