Wednesday, February 16, 2011

A Sad Story- And Sadder Yet if We Do Nothing About It

One of the big news items this week in Israel is the rape of a 12 year old girl with Down syndrome. She was waiting outside a building for her father, and was drug forcibly and violated. Luckily the perpetrator was apparently caught. But of course that is not enough.
I have written about the need for awareness of the problem before (HERE).
ALL of our children need abuse-prevention education, and special-needs kids need it even more. Again, a few points:
- Usually the offender is not some weird-looking stranger, but someone that the child knows- a cousin, a brother’s friend, a family acquaintance, etc.
- Children need to be educated about :
1. their ability to say “NO!” (Ask the child which blouse they want the red or blue, and try to give them the one they didn’t ask for).
2. private areas (their own drawer), respect for privacy (knock on their door before entering), and private body areas (covered by a swimsuit)
3. good secrets and bad secrets, and to always tell Mom secrets, even if an adult says not to.
4. who it is appropriate to get gifts from
5. who to tell if someone touches them, tries to hurt them
6. what to do if someone tries to take them, tough them

A good start is Rav Horowitz’s lecture (see HERE).
- a one-time talk is not enough. Especially with special-needs children, repeats are needed. After this incident I AGAIN talked to Ricki. And I told her that there had been an incident. And this time I really think that she took it seriously.
- for special;-needs children/teens acting, puppets, and practicing reaction is imperative.

PLEASE DON’T WAIT. Educate your children TODAY!


@jencull said...

I hadn't heard of this, it is shocking. I hope they lock him up for life.

Becca said...

Ugh, I read about that yesterday and immediately checked your blog to see if you'd said anything about it yet. So, so, so awful. My heart goes out to that little girl and her family and I really hope the man responsible gets what he deserves.

Batya said...

refuah shleimah to the poor girl

Pink (AKA Lucia) said...

That is so sad that the poor girl got raped. My heart aches for her.

I was molested by an older boy at school when I was 8 years old. The adults at school blamed it on ME and said that the boy had been good and that I was the one at fault and that the cops should be called on ME. They did not even call to tell my parents what had happened at all. When I came home on Friday night (I went to a boarding school for the Deaf during the week and came home on weekends) I told my mother what had happened. She totally blew her lid and said that I would no longer need to be going to that school anymore. On Monday we went back to the school to collect all my clothes and toys, and then she spent all day demanding to know from all the adults (principal, child care staff, and teachers) why they had allowed me out of their sight and why they allowed it to happen and why the molestation was blamed on ME and why it took place. 8 years later, this same boy raped another girl at my school - a girl I was good friends with - and this time the school did something - they expelled him and then a few years later when he became an adult he molested and raped some young children and is now sitting in prison doing 12+ years for the crime. His case is on the internet - they keep a register of all prisoners on an online prison website, and it shows all their crimes and includes a mug shot of the prisoner. His mug was on there and I check the website periodically to see if he has gotten out of prison yet or not and so far he is still sitting in prison. It makes me angry that adults you are supposed to trust - principal, teacher, child care staff - did nothing about it except blame ME for the molestation that took place at the school, they didn't even call my parents at all. My mom is now dead (she died in 1990), my dad remarried, and his wife, to this day, still blames ME for the molestation, saying that I "brought it upon myself" which was hurtful. There were proof that it wasn't my fault - he went on to rape another girl, then molested some young children, all the proof is right there on that website. It makes me sad and angry to see that there are horrible people who enjoy raping and molesting people and children. I agree with what you said - talk to the children/teens repeatedly about the dangers of molestation and rape and abductions and how to protect yourself and how to get help!