Friday, November 5, 2010
The Burst Bubble (or the Ups and Down of Shopping)
A lot of women (99.99 %???) enjoy shopping. I also do, as long as I am shopping for dishes, silver, jewelry, books, toys, etc. Clothing is another story. For years, shopping for clothing was a torture. Finding anything in my size was nigh-well impossible, and what there was available was invariably expensive. Often I had to purchase items I did not really care for, simply because I had no time to sew, and these items were the only available things I could find. Shopping for clothing was a big reminder of just how overweight I was, how I was way beyond the norm. And how society has no place for the overweight individual.
Recently, as I have managed to lose weight (44 kilos so far!), I have found that shopping for clothing can be fun. In certain stores, I can find things in my size, and in a few there is a real choice. My only problem with these outlets is that many of them design clothing that is not modest enough for the dictates of Jewish law, and I will need to supplement the items I purchase with under-blouses, alter too-open necklines, line see-though sleeves, etc.
[In one store, when I asked if they didn’t have a “basic blouse” available for me to wear when trying on their short-sleeved sweaters, it became apparent that ALL of their blouses (in addition to their other things) had a low, dipping neckline. I asked the saleslady, “I have a question for you. I know that as a non-religious lady, you are not concerned with the “modesty” of the low neckline. But in winter, aren’t you COLD with half of your upper chest exposed???!???” (Her answer was that they wear scarves with it. This, to me, sounds like a very difficult way to stay warm. It seems to me that a scarf would slip, fall, not cover well, etc.) Why a winter sweater needs a dipping neckline is beyond me…….]
Anyway, after buying early this week several items at two specialty “big size” stores, I set out to purchase some turtleneck under-blouses and a few simple winter blouses to supplement my purchases.
And that is when my bubble burst.
If I dreamt that I am nearing a normal size, that I am in the very upper range of normal, I was wrong. I wear a size 2X, and I found shopping yesterday very hard and discouraging. I went to one store where I have never been to, but which always advertises that they have “big sizes”. The largest they had was a 48. Another “big sizes” store (per advertisement) has to size 1X. And a third, advertising that they carry up to and including size 3X had nothing in 3X, and a choice of TWO items in size 2X. I refused to capitulate and buy either of these two options. I didn’t like them, and I am FINISHED with buying items I don’t like. If necessary, I will somehow make the time and sew what I am missing. (But I am hoping that one of the better “big sizes” stores that I know will have what I need as the weather gets colder. They simply didn’t get their full winter range in yet…..)
So while I feel GREAT about what I have lost so far, last night’s shopping expedition was a callous reminder that I still have a long way to go. But that’s OK. I’ll get there!