Years ago the first day of school was my dream. (Keep in mind that most of my offspring are masculine. ..argumentative, principled, opinionated masculine….) The first day of school was the bliss of a cup of coffee drunk in the quiet solitude of the living room, sitting in an armchair and gazing out the window. The job of referee, of peace-keeper, of maid and short-order cook had been shelved for a while.
Today I no longer feel this way. Due to the fact that I am Ricki’s schoolwork adaptor (for 80% of her classes), and much more, the school year ahead will be a busy one. This week alone I will have to talk to new teachers, explaining what (and how) we are doing, arrange her schedule, and much much more.
But that’s not the real reason I am sorry that the vacation ended. I dreamt of doing so many fun things with Ricki this summer. I wanted to bake, cook, do crafts, go to the beach, and much more. However, because I had set her up in several summer programs, and for various other reasons (including classmates who took her out a lot), we had few opportunities to share the activities that I had hoped to do with her. Of course, the bottom line is that she enjoyed the summer, and had a break.
At least one good thing. September is starting, and that means that summer and its heat should be ending soon. Now THAT I’ll celebrate! (Last week the temperature was about 90 degrees Fahrenheit, with about 80% relative humidity……)
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Discouraged
Yesterday evening I was so discouraged that I didn’t even feel like writing. Ricki had done marvelously at swimming lessons, despite our having missed the previous two sessions. Then in the last five minutes she “ burnt the cake”. She acted atrociously (sticking her tongue out and spitting, and throwing stuff into the water) and we had to remove her from the pool basically by force, to enable for the next student to go in. Then she misbehaved on the bus home, and at home. Also, before the swimming lesson she purposely wet her hearing aid (luckily the $3,300 aid survived), because she felt like not wearing it. (I had made her a “project” to wear the aid and get used to it again after it had been lost for 10 days….) She also managed to break her last pair of eyeglasses (at least just the leg). I realize that this may all be because she suddenly finds herself in a less structured day (even though I do give her some structure), but that fact does not excuse it.
. It will not help her get along with others as an adult
.
Then this morning, she took 3 pita breads (equivalent to 12 slices of bread), thinking that this would be her breakfast. I mean, REALLY! Obviously, her meal was quartered, obver her protests. Again, she overeats when there is little to do, but even THAT should have a limit.
In short, as we enter her first non-day camp week of vacation, I find myself setting limits every moment. I try to be positive, using positive reinforcements, praise, etc., but it is hard when SO many negative behaviors are occurring. I find that Ricki is getting way too much negative attention, if not from me, than from other family members. And I really put her down verbally at one point yesterday evening, which does not help neither her nor my discouragement.
So I guess she needs a bit more structure, filling her days with fun activities, and also some crafts (to express some of that anger) as well. But to fit this in with my need to catch up on housework, etc., is rather challenging. I feel like I need to be superman. But its hard to be wonder woman when you only had four hours of sleep (this time NOT my fault; I am shutting up to protect the guilty party, but it isn’t Ricki).
. It will not help her get along with others as an adult
.
Then this morning, she took 3 pita breads (equivalent to 12 slices of bread), thinking that this would be her breakfast. I mean, REALLY! Obviously, her meal was quartered, obver her protests. Again, she overeats when there is little to do, but even THAT should have a limit.
In short, as we enter her first non-day camp week of vacation, I find myself setting limits every moment. I try to be positive, using positive reinforcements, praise, etc., but it is hard when SO many negative behaviors are occurring. I find that Ricki is getting way too much negative attention, if not from me, than from other family members. And I really put her down verbally at one point yesterday evening, which does not help neither her nor my discouragement.
So I guess she needs a bit more structure, filling her days with fun activities, and also some crafts (to express some of that anger) as well. But to fit this in with my need to catch up on housework, etc., is rather challenging. I feel like I need to be superman. But its hard to be wonder woman when you only had four hours of sleep (this time NOT my fault; I am shutting up to protect the guilty party, but it isn’t Ricki).
Friday, July 18, 2008
Mommy Does Do Something
I think that I finally have an answer to those family members who say I do nothing but sit on the computer / study with Ricki or prepare materials / volunteer for Down syndrome organizations.
I should have taken a video on my arrival home after four days at the Down syndrome conference. Despite my son having “done the dishes and the laundry” at least once, the house was a wreck. The bathroom needed disinfecting; the sink was full to overflowing with dishes. In addition, the table in the living room was piled high with assorted toys and games, crayons and scissors. And there were about 4 loads of dirty laundry waiting for my attention. (This is despite the fact that I had washed all of the family’s clothing down to the last sock before my departure.)
Thus, it stands to reason, that normally, in addition to preparing study materials for Ricki, I :
-Do all the things we hired people to do while I was at the conference.
-Do the things we forwent when I was gone (taking Ricki to private dance/ swimming classes)
-Do what family members did instead of me during my absence
-Do what usually gets done, and wasn’t done during my vacation.
Case rested.
I should have taken a video on my arrival home after four days at the Down syndrome conference. Despite my son having “done the dishes and the laundry” at least once, the house was a wreck. The bathroom needed disinfecting; the sink was full to overflowing with dishes. In addition, the table in the living room was piled high with assorted toys and games, crayons and scissors. And there were about 4 loads of dirty laundry waiting for my attention. (This is despite the fact that I had washed all of the family’s clothing down to the last sock before my departure.)
Thus, it stands to reason, that normally, in addition to preparing study materials for Ricki, I :
-Do all the things we hired people to do while I was at the conference.
-Do the things we forwent when I was gone (taking Ricki to private dance/ swimming classes)
-Do what family members did instead of me during my absence
-Do what usually gets done, and wasn’t done during my vacation.
Case rested.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
The “Opposite” Vacation
Most moms really don’t like school break, at least after a few weeks of vacation has passed. They enjoy doing things with their children that there is no time for during the year… but the noise, the “Mommy, I’m bored..” gets a bit nerve wracking after a while. And the mess… constantly you have to remind your teens that the place for trash is in the garbage can, and not everywhere else. So most Moms breathe a big relaxing sigh of relief when school restarts in September.
But by me it’s the opposite. The entire scholastic year I have spent preparing and adapting materials for Ricki’s studies, often to un-G-dly (G-d would not approve how I am wrecking my health) hours of the night
Now that summer is here, I will cut down on studies, and those I do with Ricki can be done with materials I have, not stuff that needs to be adapted from the regular curriculum. (YAY!!) I hope to spend a bit of time each day with Ricki reviewing reading and math, and most of the remaining time use for crafts, sports, and fun. I want to make cooking and other independent learning skills a priority. But my biggest priority is to make this all fun, for Ricki at least. It means that I will be busy, but, frankly, less than during the year, and without pressure.
Probably by the middle of the summer, when Ricki will be finished with her morning day-camp, I will be singing a different tune…. and yet, it is hard to envision the school year being less stressful. But I will probably also look forward to it, joining with Ricki in her pleasure of being in the eldest class of the school.
But by me it’s the opposite. The entire scholastic year I have spent preparing and adapting materials for Ricki’s studies, often to un-G-dly (G-d would not approve how I am wrecking my health) hours of the night
Now that summer is here, I will cut down on studies, and those I do with Ricki can be done with materials I have, not stuff that needs to be adapted from the regular curriculum. (YAY!!) I hope to spend a bit of time each day with Ricki reviewing reading and math, and most of the remaining time use for crafts, sports, and fun. I want to make cooking and other independent learning skills a priority. But my biggest priority is to make this all fun, for Ricki at least. It means that I will be busy, but, frankly, less than during the year, and without pressure.
Probably by the middle of the summer, when Ricki will be finished with her morning day-camp, I will be singing a different tune…. and yet, it is hard to envision the school year being less stressful. But I will probably also look forward to it, joining with Ricki in her pleasure of being in the eldest class of the school.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Sanctioned (by me) Truancy
I let Ricki skip school this morning. I had thought, mistakenly, that today was a “no school” day. But when my husband called me up and said he saw girls on the way to classes, I gulped. School starts at 8 am, and it was 10 to eight. Ricki was fast asleep in bed. So I called Ricki’s aide and we did a quick calculation. She said that school today was only from 8 o’clock to noon. The four hours of studies schueduled for Ricki were:
Bible (in class)
Ethics and Jewish thought (Yehadut) (in class)
Math (privately)
Preparation for geography (privately)
- Well, until Ricki would get up and get to school, she would miss Bible.
- Ethics would be entirely over her head, since I had not prepared her. (Ethics is one of the few classes I prepare her for at home. But I have to nudge the teacher to get the material, and I didn’t, not knowing that there would be classes…..)
-Preparation for geography would not be needed, there being no geography class following it, due to the short day.
-Math I can do with Ricki just as well, at home.
So I gave the aide a (paid) day off, and Ricki and I are enjoying the quiet morning. Soon I plan to do a bit of math with her, and study for a science test she has tomorrow. So way in the world do I feel so guilty!?????????? Oh, the problems of a perfectionist!
Bible (in class)
Ethics and Jewish thought (Yehadut) (in class)
Math (privately)
Preparation for geography (privately)
- Well, until Ricki would get up and get to school, she would miss Bible.
- Ethics would be entirely over her head, since I had not prepared her. (Ethics is one of the few classes I prepare her for at home. But I have to nudge the teacher to get the material, and I didn’t, not knowing that there would be classes…..)
-Preparation for geography would not be needed, there being no geography class following it, due to the short day.
-Math I can do with Ricki just as well, at home.
So I gave the aide a (paid) day off, and Ricki and I are enjoying the quiet morning. Soon I plan to do a bit of math with her, and study for a science test she has tomorrow. So way in the world do I feel so guilty!?????????? Oh, the problems of a perfectionist!
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