[Note to my non-Jewish readers:
Although this post is related to “Purim”, it is universally applicable. However, in order for you to understand it (if you didn't read yesterday's "note") you will need a bit of information.
Purim is a Jewish holiday, celebrated by sending gifts of food (“mishloach Manot”) to others, eating a festive meal (“seudah”), and by giving alms. On Purim we also read the Scroll of Ester, which relates the origins of the holiday.]
So yesterday, after hearing the Scroll of
Ester I rushed home and started cutting up the vegetables needed for the meal. Once
I had pre-prepared most of the items for the seudah, I set out to
deliver the family’s mishloach manot.
Now in most families, the wives usually stay
home preparing the meal while their husband and/or children deliver the gifts
of food to neighbors, teachers, Rabbis, etc. However, my three youngest (non-married) sons were
all out of town yesterday, and my husband is not able to physically do the
walking needed. And sending Ricki out alone on a day as hectic as Purim would
be downright dangerous. (And she anyway didn’t even want to come with me…)
I realized that delivering mishloach
manot to my neighbors would not be difficult, but I did have three destinations
that were a bit far away. However, it initially did not bother me: I anyway
wanted to be sure to get my daily “10,000 steps” in, and delivering mishloach
manot was an excellent option for doing this.
However, as I walked along, I suddenly
realized that instead of enjoying my chance to get out of the house and stretch
my limbs, I was inwardly ruminating over how pathetic a situation I find myself
in: here I am about the only lady on the street (unless she’s accompanied by
her husband or kids), no one is home to help, and I am doing EVERYTHING in this
family.
At least I caught myself in this negative mind
set.
“Ah, Rickismom”, I whispered inwardly, “You
want to be like everyone else? Well, it just ISN’T going to be like that,
because of __X Y Z___. So you can
be negative, OR you can decide to make the day a happy, positive one, and be
happy for the myriad of good things in your life.”
I choose the second option, and enjoyed the
rest of my walk.
Because happiness is NOT connected to what is
going on in our lives, but rather on the internal messages we broadcast to
ourselves.
5 comments:
But it is hard at times, as you already know, to fond optimism and positivity in life's every day situations.
We are not all or always Pollyanna. And all too often our friends are More like family than our own family.
Delivering mishloach manot alone isn't as bad as when I was the only female fighting for the free sechach in Jerusalem.
Great post and final thought!
Yes, Batya, I TOTALLY agree! (When I had to buy schach last year, I opted to get a mat roll. No crowd scene! And luckily one of my younger sons was able to buy my husband's 4 minim.....)
Mikimi, this isn't about being Pollyanna-ish. Its not about denying what hurts. It is about accepting the reality for what it is (" Well, it just ISN’T going to be like that") and then choosing to move beyond the pain and not let it take over your entire life.
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