Family Meetings and Riding Shotgun

Last night we had a family meeting. I think that I wrote, ages ago, about our family meetings, but was not able to conjure up the post via the search tab. So I will briefly recap: One of the biggest fears parents of special-needs children (and adults) deal with is the big question: “What will be with my child when I die?” Now in this regard, I am lucky, actually. Ricki not only has a sibling, she has several. But I don’t want, as often happens, that the load fall 90% on the shoulders of one of them. For this reason, I have instituted a yearly “family meeting”. At this gathering I update everyone on what is going on in Ricki’s life, problems, etc. We deliberate about any difficult situations, and I remind them that they have to continue this after I die. But the whole process is sweetened by the fact that it is one of the few times we ALL (hopefully) get together. There are of course generous refreshments, and plenty of time to simply pow-wow together and have a laughing good time. [And I am happy to note that my children, despite their differences * in religious observance (or lack thereof…), get along quite well….] * * * Last night we planned to hold the meeting, at the house of one of my married sons, in Jerusalem, which is about an hour’s drive from my house. And not wanting Ricki to miss the fun of the gathering, we took her along with us. (Ricki was occupied in the adjourning room with her nephews and nieces during the period that we discussed her.) Luckily, we had at our disposal the rental car used by my son who is currently visiting from the US. As we walked to the car, we indicated to Ricki that she could ride in the “shotgun” seat in front, next to her brother. She was thrilled at the opportunity, and as we rode to the holy city Ricki happily sang along with the disk that was playing. She felt adult and important. The rest of us looked along in pleasure, glad that she was so ecstatic. But we were also chagrined at the reason that Ricki was riding shotgun: as the heaviest person present, and with the need for three of us to fit into the back seat, we had little choice about where to place her……