Yikes!

I weighed myself this morning, even though I usually do that on Mondays. I wanted to see how much damage I did this week. The answer was not good (worse than I expected). OK, back to self control.....

Redemption (A and B)

[This post is part of the pre-passover “blogExodus” at http://imabima.blogspot.com/ ]
INTRODUCTION
     For those regular readers who may have wondered where I disappeared to over the last nine days, I have been at home. Doing my Passover cleaning. For those readers uninitiated to Pesach (Passover) cleaning, the words “spring cleaning” is a mere whiff of what I do before Passover. We are enjoined not to eat, own, or use “chometz” (leavened products) during Passover. And while there are easier ways to clean for the holiday, basically one needs to rid the house of every crumb of bread/cake/etc. And after that, the kitchen counters, stove, etc need to be covered before being used for the preparation of scrumptuous holiday repasts…. So Passover cleaning tends to be a LOT of work. But personally I rather enjoy this, because it does give me an incentive to do some organizing, fixing, and deep cleaning of the house. Yet as much as I try and plan ahead, and to work by a schedule, I invariably fall behind, have less time for walking, and get too little sleep. The usual outcome for me is overeating and weight gain. 
The Post: Redemption (A) :
    Wednesday (ALL day) and Thursday morning I cleaned my kitchen for Passover. For the last few years I have “done” the kitchen before the living room, where we continue to eat non-Passover foods. I prefer to do the heavier work at least a week before the holiday, so as not to arrive to the holiday “seder table” exhausted. In former years I have used “cleaning the kitchen” as an excuse to consume “instant energy”, in the form of fine Swiss chocolate. Even last year, well down the “diet road”, I succumbed to temptation (albeit much less than in previous years), and this year I hoped to do much better. The chocolate I had purchased for holiday baking use I placed along with other groceries for the holiday in sealed boxes. And for several days, even though I was VERY hungry (blame habit and lack of sleep), I was doing GREAT. Then, when emptying out some of the closets in the kitchen on Monday afternoon, I found a stashed-away half bar of chocolate. And as the evening progressed, I slowly and surely polished off the entire 90 grams of creamy smoothness…. Having given in to temptation once, on the marrow I was craving chocolate with my whole soul. But, determined not to gain too much over the holiday season, I decided to allow myself on Tuesday a few high calorie items, but not chocolate. Then on Wednesday, I allowed myself extra calories, but not sweet items. The idea was to allow myself a bit of leeway, but to progress back gradually to a normal eating plan. Now why did I do this? BECAUSE WHEN I FOUND MYSELF NOT FOLLOWING MY EATING PLAN, I TOOK NOTE, AND ANALYZED THE SITUATION, AND DEVELOPED A PLAN FOR ACTION. If we want to redeem ourselves from our bad habits, we need to Think and PLAN. The redemption for Egypt was quick, and given as a gift. Redemption from our evil inclination is not going to be that easy.

  Redemption (B):
      One of my married sons phoned me the other day, offering to come and help me with the pre-Passover work one day next week. I declined, and told him that I didn't really need him to come, that his wife surely needed the help more. He then asked “Is it easier cleaning this year, now that you’ve lost weight?” YES YES YES I can easily bend to clean the floors. I can reach under the closet-table in the kitchen, to clean the floor beneath the closet. I n former years, my arm was too wide to get into the narrow space. It is easier to climb to the top rung of the ladder to reach the upper closets. Yes, losing significant amounts of weight is a redemption…..I truly feel like one who has entered freedom.

I am happy to say that I am under 80 kilos, ie I have lost 70 kilos!

I've posted this before (ages ago), but am doing so again in honor of International Down Syndrome Day.

Something “Interesting”

Several months ago I saw a well thought out on-line booklet (in Hebrew) on the topic “Me and My Family”. I printed it out, and saved it for use this summer. However, one day about a month ago Ricki noticed it, and took possession of it, “Lock, stock, and barrel”….. Yesterday as I was cleaning her drawers out, I came across it, and glanced at the answers she had written. Some where cute, and some were totally off-topic. But suddenly I noticed this: Question: What is something interesting about your mother when she was your age? Ricki’s answer: “She didn’t have Down syndrome.”

There’s a Hole in my Bucket

    Last night on my return from the pool at 23:30, I discovered that the city had turned our water off. (No, I paid my bill…) There was a leak from the pipes in the street, and they were busy fixing it. And they were still busy when I went to sleep shortly before 1 AM.

  This morning the water was still off. At 6am I exasperatedly called the emergency number of the city, and was told (after a LONG wait- I guess I wasn’t the only person needing to wash their hands*) that the water would be on by 7am. I informed him that my special needs teen needed a bath and that her ride to school arrives at 7:15. Even a fountain at seven am just wasn’t going to help much! (And in the end, it was 7:15 before the water was turned on.)

   However, I was in luck. One of my three dear daughters –in-law hates our water, and always requests bottled mineral water when she visits. For once I was truly glad, because in order to accommodate her, I had bought water in the super, and had a bottle and a half of pure H₂O.

    So with the half bottle we washed our hands. And I even had enough left over for another true necessity: my morning coffee.

   Then Ricki chipped in: “With the other bottle I can have a sponge bath>” (“Great problem-solving thinking!” I noted to myself.) “I hope it’s enough” I commented aloud.

   “If not, we can refill it from the tap….” she added.

    As the self-inflated balloon of my pride at Ricki’s logical thinking skills deflated a bit, I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered the song from my childhood:

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza?

With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with straw.

The straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,

The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long,

Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it.

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza?

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, with what?

With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, with an axe.

The axe is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,

The axe is too dull, dear Liza, too dull.

Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, hone it.

On what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza?

On what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, on what?

On a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, a stone.

           But the stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,

The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.

Well wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

Well wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.

With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza?

With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, with what?

try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, water.

In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, dear Liza?

In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, in what?

In a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,

In a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, bucket.

BUT there's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

* Religious Jews was their hands every morning, and until they do so do not touch food items

Purim Lessons #2

[Note to my non-Jewish readers:

         Although this post is related to “Purim”, it is universally applicable. However, in order for you to understand it (if you didn't read yesterday's "note") you will need a bit of information.

    Purim is a Jewish holiday, celebrated by sending gifts of food (“mishloach Manot”) to others, eating a festive meal (“seudah”), and by giving alms. On Purim we also read the Scroll of Ester, which relates the origins of the holiday.]

   So yesterday, after hearing the Scroll of Ester I rushed home and started cutting up the vegetables needed for the meal. Once I had pre-prepared most of the items for the seudah, I set out to deliver the family’s mishloach manot.

   Now in most families, the wives usually stay home preparing the meal while their husband and/or children deliver the gifts of food to neighbors, teachers, Rabbis, etc.  However, my three youngest (non-married) sons were all out of town yesterday, and my husband is not able to physically do the walking needed. And sending Ricki out alone on a day as hectic as Purim would be downright dangerous. (And she anyway didn’t even want to come with me…)

    I realized that delivering mishloach manot to my neighbors would not be difficult, but I did have three destinations that were a bit far away. However, it initially did not bother me: I anyway wanted to be sure to get my daily “10,000 steps” in, and delivering mishloach manot was an excellent option for doing this.

  However, as I walked along, I suddenly realized that instead of enjoying my chance to get out of the house and stretch my limbs, I was inwardly ruminating over how pathetic a situation I find myself in: here I am about the only lady on the street (unless she’s accompanied by her husband or kids), no one is home to help, and I am doing EVERYTHING in this family.

 At least I caught myself in this negative mind set.

    “Ah, Rickismom”, I whispered inwardly, “You want to be like everyone else? Well, it just ISN’T going to be like that, because of __X Y Z___.  So you can be negative, OR you can decide to make the day a happy, positive one, and be happy for the myriad of good things in your life.”

   I choose the second option, and enjoyed the rest of my walk.

  Because happiness is NOT connected to what is going on in our lives, but rather on the internal messages we broadcast to ourselves.

Purim Lessons #1: Flexibility and Empathy

 [Note to my non-Jewish readers:

         Although this post is related to “Purim”, it is universally applicable. However, in order for you to understand it (and the follow-up post tomorrow) you will need a bit of information.

    Purim is a Jewish holiday, celebrated by sending gifts of food (“mishloach Manot”) to others, eating a festive meal (“seudah”), and by giving alms. In Jerusalem, Purim is celebrated a day later than everywhere else, and is called “Shushan Purim”. On Purim we also read the Scroll of Ester, which relates the origins of the holiday.]

The post:

       Before any holiday I wait impatiently to hear from my married sons who (if anyone) will grace our house with their presence.  Their coming is often complicated by their desire to also go to their in-laws, what type of sleeping quarters are available (since on most Jewish holidays driving is not allowed), whether their siblings will be there, etc. Often all these factors make arrangements difficult, and I have often asked them to try and see that SOMEONE will be here for any holiday, rather than them all coming one time, and none the next.

   Purim, however, is usually pretty easy. Because the in-laws of my sons all celebrate “ShushanPurim” in Jerusalem, and I celebrate the regular Purim, they can easily travel both here AND to their in-laws. (And sleeping quarters are not needed, as travel is permitted on Purim.) However, traveling for one without a car can be pretty hectic, as TONS of people travel the same bus route at the same time, and by late afternoon the buses are crammed and thus uncomfortable at best. So lately, some of my sons have had a tendency to pop in on the evening part of the day (the evening before), while my son Josh, who has a car, usually comes for the seudah in the daytime.

     However, unknown to me,  it seemed that this year Josh and his wife were eager to celebrate Purim in their own home, and the three brothers tried to ensure that SOMEONE would be around here in the daytime. But I didn’t know this….

     So my eldest son, Jacob called me, asking if I could make the seudah meal earlier, say at noon. He wanted to come for the seudah. But he was not eager to travel with his children on packed transportation. I was a bit taken aback at the question. Every Purim, after hearing the public reading of the Scroll of Ester, I run home. Then I proceed to send out my mishloach manot, and finally scramble to cook the food for the seudah. I find myself ALWAYS pressed for time, and could not imagine that I could have the festive meal at an earlier hour than our regular 3:00 schedule.  So I informed Jacob of this, and he said he would get back to me about when he would be coming. Eventually he let me know that both he and his sibling “Meir” would be coming in the evening.

     The next morning my daughter informed me that she and her husband would be at home (next to my house) in the morning, but not later in the day for the meal. I suddenly realized that if Josh wouldn’t choose to come for the seudah, my husband, Ricki, and I would be celebrating alone. And I started feeling sorry for myself, a bit bitter at the way things were turning out. (Josh hadn’t told me that he wasn’t coming, but he had hinted that he preferred to come in the evening…)

   Suddenly I realized that I was a bit angry that no one was willing to battle packed busses to see us, when there was a much easier, simpler option of having the seudah earlier. Why should I have expected my sons to do the difficult when I myself was not willing to stretch beyond the range of comfort (by having the meal earlier)???  I obviously needed to make the chances needed to ensure their presence, and THAT meant having the seudah earlier. Once I accepted that I would need to move the timing of the meal, the solution was obvious: I would cook first, and THEN deliver my mishloach manot, finishing in the late afternoon (after the repast) if need be. In the end, that is what I did, and it worked out so well that I think I even PREFER it like this.

   So hopefully I learned a bit of empathy and flexibility……

interesting video

An interesting video about people with intellectual disabilities. (hat tip to Dave Hinsburger) /


   Now let me ask YOU: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would YOU change?  (I'll post my answer in a few days.....)